The Day the Dancing Stopped
I started a vacation recently with a wedding in Atlanta (though I did not come out of it married myself). It was a beautiful ceremony, followed by a beautiful reception.
But I couldn’t help noticing that nobody did much dancing at this reception. In fact, I thought, it seems like we (America, the West, moderns -- whatever) hardly do any dancing anymore -- ever.
So I pondered and observed. Two young men (two peculiarly dressed young men) did eventually take the floor, but they seemed to be dancing ironically, mugging it up as they did so. They were, as it were, placing themselves in quotation marks, making fun of their own movements, saying, “I am not really dancing like this.”
Finally, the DJ played the Macarena, which, while certainly not the most dignified dance in history, managed to get some lovely 60-something southern belles out on the floor, swinging their hips, having fun, delighting us all. But that happened only once music with a set and structured dance was played, and that was the exception.
I blame the 1960s and 1970s. Tell me if I have my cultural history wrong, but movies from the 1950s show high-school dances and suburban cocktail parties with the basics -- the waltz and so forth -- preserved. Then came the 1960s with the annihilation of traditional standards in the name of uninhibited self-expression -- they got rid of the structured waltz and replaced it with generic grooving. And, now, nobody dances anymore.
I think there’s an important cultural lesson here. Self-expression -- which is, in its proper contexts, a good -- is impossible under anarchy. Creativity is produced by variation on and deviation from accepted norms and structures; rarely does creativity emerge ex nihilo. So the annihilation of all standards and norms in the name of immediate self-expression actually ends up depriving us of an artistic departure point. The liberation of the 60s and 70s -- which attempted to destroy artistic boundaries, and rid us of traditional dances -- actually ends in a kind of stunted fearfulness.
The ironic, self-mocking dancing of the two young men was an understandable response to this anarchy. Without a generally socially accepted form of dancing or any norms to guide them, anything they did could be subjected to mockery -- the best defense against this was to mock themselves even as they danced.
I hope it’s not too frivolous to wonder about this. I’ve never been naturally inclined to dance, but I read with admiration Burke’s description in On the Sublime and Beautiful, of how dance can be a physical manifestation of communal fellow-feeling.
(P.S.: I'm a total hypocrite, unable to claim any virtues dancing-wise. I tried swinging my hips once, but they stayed right where God put them.)
(P.P.S.: Was I wrong to blame the 60s? Perhaps the problem is the 90s. My parents tell me of their halcyon days, when Associated Press journalists would devote several months’ salary for a dowry offered to their fellow employees -- an open bar at their weddings. Perhaps the moralization of personal health of the 90s has led to a culture of less drinking. And drink is generally acknowledged as an aid to dance.)
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Aug '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Who wouldn't want to watch more than 60 southern belles dancing?!
(opens memo which was just handed to me)
Oh... 60-something refers to their age.
Never mind...
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
No dancing? For shame! Of course, we have daily dance parties in my house and my 3 year old, who has already figured out that hardwood floors make the best dancing surfaces, scouts out good dancing locations wherever we go.
All of my family dances and many of my friends, too.
I think one of the problems isn't that dancing is on the decline so much as that group dancing is on the decline. That's clearly less prominent these days (although the recent Dougie craze says otherwise). That's no problem so long as individuals are busting a move. But even with individualized dancing, you see a lot of dance flash mobs and other things that show that dance has evolved more than disappeared.
Feb '11
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
I have always wondered about this aspect of American culture myself. In Latin American culture dancing is integral to a party, wedding, baptism, etc. But Latin cultures do have structured dances like salsa, cumbia, merengue, etc. in addition to free style dancing. Hence, the men learn at a young age to dance with a certain amount of competence and if they don't they will loose out on many dating opportunities. My Brazilian friend and I have always wondered how people in the US claim to have a good time when all they do is stand around and drink at social functions. We have been to various functions and were astounded that while good dance music was playing not one person was dancing. Would Ricochet members be kind enough to explain this?
Aug '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
I blame premarital sex. No, really.
Before it became acceptable for girls to give sex to guys they weren't married to, it was acceptable for girls to date more than one guy at a time. But now sex while dating is the norm, so anything that "looks like" dating is construed to involve sex, too.
Since most girls can't help a tendency towards sexual monogamy, and are naturally unhappy being thought of as "sluts" (even today), this means it becomes taboo to date a guy that's dating someone else, flirt with a guy that's dating someone else, or even dance with a guy that's dating someone else.
This is particularly a problem at weddings, since these days, when young people are invited to a wedding, they may be treated like outcasts if they don't bring a date along. Used to be that weddings were a great way to pick up dates, even mates. Not anymore.
When I was unmarried and tried to dance with unmarried/unengaged guys at weddings, I'd always get the stinkeye from their girlfriends. They didn't get that I just wanted to dance with their guys, not seduce 'em.
Edited on May 9, 2011 at 11:07amRe: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Hm...coordinating a dance environment that suits the multi-generational roster of guests at a wedding is tricky business, and very often results in abject failure. Think about it: you have to provide a mix of music that appeals to the couple's contemporaries, their parents and parents' contemporaries, and then folks from the grandparents' generation. If you come from a multi-ethnic background, you have to contend with that added difficulty (e.g. If I were to have a wedding, I'd have to work in some Latin music for my enormous Mexican family who sure as heck won't be dancing to Frank Sinatra, the golden oldies, or American pop music. But then my Mexican cousins aren't going to enjoy dancing to the same Latin tunes as my Mexican grandparents would dance to. Oy)
And if a wedding doesn't provide plenty of alcohol, forget it. There will be no dancing, period. I've attended two such weddings. Not a soul on the dance floor. Awkward.
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
P.S. The type of dancing (not to mention music) that our contemporaries became so well-acquainted with in college frat basements is hardly appropriate for the dance floor of a wedding...
May '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
I'm with Diane. This sounds like an execution issue not a social malaise issue. There is plenty to be discouraged about with respect to the culture, but the end of social dancing is just not one of those things.
And you have shattered my image of National Review. I figured Friday afternoon dance parties were de rigeur.
Aug '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
I haven't found the music to be nearly as much of a problem as the hostility of my generation towards being parted from their dates, even for a dance.
I've danced to salsa, rumba, bluegrass, Appalachian folk music, Sinatra, techno, and even Weird Al at weddings. As long as it has a beat, you can make it work with some style of dance (if our desire to foxtrot is sincere, then foxtrot we shall, even if it's to Celtic punk metal).
But mostly, if I could find anyone to dance with at all, I'd end up dancing with peoples' fathers, or even grandfathers (though Cuban granddads sure can cut a rug!). Or gals who felt comfortable "being the guy".
Edited on May 9, 2011 at 11:45amRe: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Midget Faded Rattlesnake
I haven't found the music to be nearly as much of a problem as the hostility of my generation towards being parted from their dates, even for a dance.
You must be one attractive snake. I've never experienced this situation. Although I will say that at formal dances in college, we brought dates so that we could have a dance partner throughout the evening. I would have been a little appalled if my guest to a sorority dance abandoned me to dance with every other girl in the room, leaving me to sit by the punch. (And I hasten to add that sex didn't enter into the equation whatsoever.)
Aug '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Diane Ellis, Ed.
Although I will say that at formal dances in college, we brought dates so that we could have a dance partner throughout the evening. I would have been a little appalled if my guest to a sorority dance abandoned me to dance with every other girl in the room, leaving me to sit by the punch.
Well, of course you don't want to be abandoned by your dancing partner. Still, for partners to split up as little as they do during dances these days is, traditionally speaking, its own kind of social faux pas.
I've even been to ballroom club functions where the emcees have to order folks (many of whom ought to know better) to spend some time dancing with people other than their partner, so that people actually do mingle a little, instead of spending the whole night in a sort of narcissism a deux. (For one thing, dancing is supposed to be a fun activity for the singletons, too.)
It doesn't have to, on the individual level. But those who refrain still inhabit a culture where the etiquette has been shifted by it.
May '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
You don't even have to know the steps for the old jazz/big band dance forms. They're just naturally danceable, and you can fake it with the occasional twirl (and dip, if your partner is feeling adventurous). I dunno, something about rock music doesn't produce that without (sigh) irony.
I think this has led to the popularity of line dancing, to fill that vacuum.
Aug '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
True.
As long as you do twirl the girl, not crank her. There's something about having her arm cranked around on a turn that can leave a gal feeling, um, cranky.
(Though I'd take an enthusiastic cranker who'll actually get up and dance over guys who'd rather spend the whole evening ferrying their girlfriends punch any day. )
Edited on May 9, 2011 at 1:50pmJun '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
I concur with Matthew that "without a generally socially accepted form of dancing or any norms to guide them, anything they did could be subjected to mockery," and this is basically why I hate dancing. I see nothing fun about standing around vaguely attempting to imitate what other people are doing and generally feeling that I look foolish. If there were actual structured dances with steps and rules I could learn I think I'd enjoy dancing, but the only type of dance I learned in school was square dancing, and I have yet to attend a wedding or other social function where that came in handy.
May '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Matthew Shaffer: ....they got rid of the structured waltz and replaced it with generic grooving. And, now, nobody dances anymore.
I think there’s an important cultural lesson here. Self-expression -- which is, in its proper contexts, a good -- is impossible under anarchy. Creativity is produced by variation on and deviation from accepted norms and structures; rarely does creativity emerge ex nihilo.
Country dance halls and Cajun places still involve formal dance moves. So it's not surprising that dancing is still alive and well in the rural South. People I have known who regularly go out to dance do so at such venues favoring traditional dances.
But you mistake the reason. Creativity is not how most people derive fun from dancing. It's not what most people seek in dancing.
It's the same as singing. Most people love to sing along with songs, and they generally don't try to be creative while doing so. They are simply immersing themselves in the creations of artists. Even karaoke singers don't generally change the notes much, if at all.
Most dancers don't want to be creative. They just want to learn some fun steps and dance along.
Jun '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Aaron Miller
Matthew Shaffer: ....they got rid of the structured waltz and replaced it with generic grooving. And, now, nobody dances anymore.
Most dancers don't want to be creative. They just want to learn some fun steps and dance along. · May 9 at 2:39pm
I for one agree. But why then has structured dance been replaced by "generic grooving" at most mainstream American social events? I had assumed there must be a constituency that prefers generic grooving.
Or does it just come down to the music, and the fact that there are no agreed structured dance moves for most modern rock, pop, and hip-hop music?
May '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
I grew up in a very conservative culture where dancing of any sort was forbidden, particularly with a member of the opposite sex. It was seen as just a substitute for the sex act, or something. I got out of that environment as fast as I could. But I never really learned any actual dances, besides the two-step. I've found that the more people know each other, the more comfortable they are dancing. Alcohol helps too.
My husband can't dance either, but that's not because he was prohibited from doing so, but because he isn't that great. We've just decided that our purpose on the dance floor is to make everyone else look good. However, when he was in the Navy, we went to lots of functions where dancing was very popular. Everyone danced with different partners, and I always had a great time and rarely was off my feet, despite my lack of skills.
May '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Joseph Stanko
But why then has structured dance been replaced by "generic grooving" at most mainstream American social events?
It's related to musical cultures. Play a country song like "Boot Scootin' Boogie" or "Louisiana Saturday Night" at any mixed gathering and you're more likely to see formal dancing than if you play techno, pop or rock.
The latter musical styles are associated with rebellion, even though as mediums they are capable of honoring traditions. Rock has been associated with rebellious dances (from the pelvic thrusts of Elvis to Dirty Dancing), as have other modern genres (Michael Jackson famously grabbed his crotch). But the ultimate rebellion is complete rejection of rules.
The 60s demolished virtue (individuality through fruition, rather than creation) as a necessary tenet of mainstream art. Musical performers and celebrities set the standards. And, as Matthew suggests, standards of ex nihilo creativity are oppressive, rather than liberating.
May '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
By the way, I don't know if it's still around, but all the elementary schools in my part of Texas (and, I think, throughout Texas) taught square dancing, line dancing and other formal country dances to all students when I was a kid.
I haven't danced since, but I'm sure it would come back to me.
Aug '10
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
Well, then, the Navy is doing it right. I'm glad to hear it.
Perhaps the honoring of tradition, the formal etiquette of the military, and a higher ratio of guys to gals in an organization like the Navy all contribute to a gal being able to have a proper time on the dance floor. (A gross excess of gals to guys, say, 2 to 1 or more, is a common problem at civilian dances. No wonder chicks dance with chicks.)
Feb '11
Re: The Day the Dancing Stopped
As is usually the case with these kinds of things there are probably several contributing factors, in my uninformed opinion: