Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Everyone has been engaged at some time in a debate about which are the greatest inventions of all time. Electrical power generation? The automobile? Plumbing? My personal choice is anesthesia; when you really, really need it, it's the greatest thing in all the world.
But few of us stop to consider the commonplace little conveniences we take for granted every single day. The history, for instance, of the fork is lost in the mist of time, but we're all indebted to whoever carved the first one.
And we are indebted, indeed, to whoever invented toilet paper. We know that toilet paper existed in China as long ago as the 6th Century, but paper was a rare good, so its use was limited to the Emperor and his retinue. The rest of the world made do with rather less appealing alternatives. The upper classes in Europe used sponges, wool or lace, while the masses made do with rags, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stones, sand, moss, corn husks, fruit skins or even seashells.
The first commercially available toilet paper was produced in the United States in 1857 by Joseph Gayetty. "Gayetty's Medicated Paper" was offered in packages of flat sheets, infused with aloe and watermarked with Gayetty's name.
Toilet paper in the form of a perforated roll was patented in 1871 by Seth Wheeler, of Albany, New York.
The next time you have occasion to avail yourself of this marvelous convenience, take a moment to thank the obscure figures who made it possible. Without them, you'd be using an oyster shell.
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Feb '11
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
While it may be taken for granted, it has nevertheless managed to generate one of the greatest unresolved controversies in the history of civilization: Over or Under?
Jul '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Under, of course. That's one of the litmus tests I've always applied to whether a girlfriend was a keeper or not.
Apr '11
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Tidbit of useless information: Down in the southernmost parts (ahem, no pun intended) of Italy where I reside, if you find yourself out in the brush and the urge and its consequences create a sudden nostalgia for "bum wad".......they use rocks! I kid you not, a big, nice, smooth, round, river stone is best. It makes rock-collecting, my hobby, a bit perilous unless its just after a good rain..........Go figure.
Aug '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Yep. Smooth stones are one way.
Being a gal (gals chronically worry about hygiene and where the nearest "facilities" are), I prepare for, umm... contingencies with moist towelettes and three ziploc baggies. One baggie holds the clean towelettes, the other the used, and these two baggies go in the third. Very light and compact (fits into a pocket), and I'd never willingly venture out into the wilderness without it. We go on day hikes, mostly, so we don't plan on using this setup, but there's the security of just knowing it's there...
I think ziploc baggies play an underappreciated role in habitat conservation. Without them, it would be far harder for people to enjoy wilderness areas (and thus learn to value them) without leaving bits of trash behind.
Aug '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
I just can't help sharing this other story:
The biology teachers at my high school took a real back-to-nature camping trip together (they were all men at the time, so it was one of those rugged, manly affairs). They didn't pack any wad, choosing instead to use the local flora.
They used poison ivy.
Two ended up in the hospital. I've always wondered what it's like to explain to the ER attendants that the reason you're in the emergency room is because you're a biology teacher who doesn't know what poison ivy looks like.
Edited on May 4, 2011 at 9:37pmFeb '11
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Kenneth
Under, of course. That's one of the litmus tests I've always applied to whether a girlfriend was a keeper or not. · May 4 at 8:53pm
My wife is an under. I am an over. The result has been twenty years of guerrilla warfare in the bathroom with no end likely till death intervenes.
Jun '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Kenneth
The next time you have occasion to avail yourself of this marvelous convenience, take a moment to thank the obscure figures who made it possible. Without them, you'd be using an oyster shell. ·
Those of us far from the coasts have a lot of trouble getting oyster shells, but corn cobs are readily available.
Definitely an under guy--anyone who goes "over" has latent liberal tendencies and is sorely in need of a couple of weeks in a re-education camp.
Edited on May 4, 2011 at 9:44pmAug '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
jrb
Kenneth
Under, of course. That's one of the litmus tests I've always applied to whether a girlfriend was a keeper or not. · May 4 at 8:53pm
My wife is an under. I am an over. The result has been twenty years of guerrilla warfare in the bathroom with no end likely till death intervenes. · May 4 at 9:36pm
Hotel management programs teach that "over" is the way to go. Easier to tear off one-handed without having the roll keep spinning and creating a TP fountain.
But being American means we are free to orient our rolls however we please in the privacy of our own bathrooms, no matter what method is considered "objectively" more efficient by the "experts". Part of what makes this country great.
Jun '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Fascinating. I had always thought that Sears & Roebuck invented t.p., sending to your home in catalog form.
Feb '11
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
tabula rasa
anyone who goes "over" has latent liberal tendencies and is sorely in need of a couple of weeks in a re-education camp.
I had a feeling this was going to get nasty.
Midget Faded Rattlesnake
But being American means we are free to orient our rolls however we please in the privacy of our own bathrooms, no matter what method is considered "objectively" more efficient by the "experts".
At least until Obama appoints a "TP Czar."
May '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Kenneth - Getting to the bottom of America's pressing problems like no other...
May '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
There are some illuminating stats on tp use here. Also, I remember that the toilet paper in the former East Germany was simply terrible. Grey, wrinkled, rough, with lots of foreign specks in it. No wonder we won the Cold War.
Jun '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
I gotta ask this out of complete naïveté. What is the case for "under"? I'm an "over" guy and just don't get what the advantage is. Please enlighten me.
May '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
In Japan, toilet paper is different from tissue paper. It is made from a very water-soluble (disintegratable?) paper so that the sewage treatment plants can do their job more effectively. Throwing tissue paper in the toilet is considered to be against the rules.
May '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
In the last ten years I have begun to travel to some pretty remote locations. Believe me, I appreciate TP, and MFR's method is the one I use. Ziploc baggies are some of the most useful items I carry when I travel. Running water is also good, with warm (or hot) running water being extra-super wonderful.
What will Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan will be like? I'll find out next week.
Apr '11
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Everything important you might want to know on the subject, here, in an easy-to-read graphic format! (Click once on the image to enlarge to full-size.) I particularly enjoyed this tidbit: "The [Wikipedia] discussion page for the article on 'Toilet Paper Orientation' is 2x longer than that for the Iraq War."
Edited on May 5, 2011 at 5:11amJul '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Well, there's always the nytimes.
Edited on May 5, 2011 at 5:45amOct '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
PJS: In the last ten years I have begun to travel to some pretty remote locations.
What will Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan will be like? I'll find out next week. · May 5 at 4:31am
If you haven't traveled in the Muslim world you are in for a real education. If you stay in a hotel or other Westernized environment, then the deal is simply the kind of TP, and the curiously designed Russian toilets.
However, if going native, then you will first need to adjust to squatty-potties, the ceramic hole in the floor that serves, with even a flush handle sometimes your needs. TP? Fugeddaboutit. A hose with cold water is the best you'll get. And the floors will be slopping with water, so watch your footing.
And, if you dress local, you will be wearing a Shalwa-Camis, the local robe and loose pants outfit... very comfortable. Just try using the facilities and keeping your clothes dry. The locals can do it, even when they might be wearing a purely white outfit. We always find it a struggle.
Edited on May 5, 2011 at 5:48amJan '11
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Nice post. It seems I have omitted TP and zip lock plastic bags from my bunker inventory. A few hundred KFC wet naps wont last long if used as a substitute for TP and zip lock plastic bags are far too versatile to be overlooked.
Jun '10
Re: Stuff We Take for Granted. Chapter 1: Toilet Paper
Simple: "Under" is right--"over" is wrong. This isn't a question for debate. It's a simple matter of right and wrong. UNDER IS RIGHT!!! And don't accuse me of being an ideological utopian.