Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
When I picture the snappy dresser in my mind’s eye, he or she is wearing something smart, sophisticated, well-fitting, classic—in other words, something conservative. (Think Grace Kelly or Lord Peter Wimsey or any ensemble laid out by Jeeves: always fabulous.) In my opinion, the great dresser is never “trendy”; the great dresser is always elegant.
Well, I’m conservative—and I can’t dress. Oh, sure, I wear stuff. But I cannot pull together an outfit. The great dresser is always “put together.” It’s all there: The blended-but-not-matchy-matchy ensemble, the tasteful accoutrements, the hair, the makeup—and all perfectly appropriate to the activity in which the elegant dresser is engaged. I can spot the snappy dresser and appreciate the individual parts as well as the sum of those parts—and yet, I say again, I cannot pull together an outfit.
So it isn’t that conservatives are inherently good dressers. But are good dressers—not trendy dressers, mind you, but really great dressers—conservative in some sense?
Or perhaps I’m on the wrong track entirely. Perhaps “fashion sense” is the intelligence that Howard Gardner hasn’t invented yet—something you’re born with, like musicality. Though we unwashed masses can take piano lessons, we’re never going to be Liszt. Similarly, the rest of us can pick up a few tips from “What Not to Wear”—your lipstick color musn’t match your dress!—but we’re never going to be innately elegant like those who possess the fashion gene.
Thoughts? (I warned you this was frivolous. Nay, shamelessly frivolous. But honestly: Isn’t there more to life than the debt ceiling? At least until we default?)
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Jun '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Two comments.
I am a good conservative, but have no fashion sense. As a lawyer, I do have to dress up decently at times, and luckily have a wife who makes sure I go out the door looking presentable. My biggest problem is that the cost of really good suit is so high that I can't pull the trigger (I immediately begin translating the cost into how many books, Big Macs, or Diet Mountain Dews I can buy for the same amount and then decide it's not worth it). So I wear an OK suit.
I also have a completely irrational fashion pet peeve. It's guys who show up to something casual in an expensive shirt, expensive shorts, no socks, and wearing a pair of expensive Italian loafers (sun glasses are optional, but must be fashionably up on their head). I have an almost uncontrollable urge to give them a swift kick in the rear and then tell them to "ACT LIKE A MAN!" Maybe it's the farm boy in me or perhaps I'm just insane. I see a guy like that and my mind says, "Pansy Liberal."
Edited on July 19, 2011 at 11:02pmNov '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
TR, money's a big part of it for me, too. I'm unwilling to spend a lot on clothing and accessories. (By a lot I mean almost anything.) Of course, the elegant, timeless dressers tell me that it doesn't cost a lot to dress well, beyond the initial investment of a "wardrobe," because, again, we're not talkin' trendy.
Which brings me back to square one: Even if I were willing to pull the trigger on the wardrobe...what do I buy? I can find a nice piece, but a nice ensemble? No.
And I'm right there with you on the Pansy Liberal. Emphatically. They're in the same category with the guys who check themselves out in the gym mirrors. Icky.
Jun '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Layla: TR, money's a big part of it for me, too. I'm unwilling to spend a lot on clothing and accessories. (By a lot I mean almost anything.) Of course, the elegant, timeless dressers tell me that it doesn't cost a lot to dress well, beyond the initial investment of a "wardrobe," because, again, we're not talkin' trendy.
Which brings me back to square one: Even if I were willing to pull the trigger on the wardrobe...what do I buy? I can find a nice piece, but a nice ensemble? No.
And I'm right there with you on the Pansy Liberal. Emphatically. They're in the same category with the guys who check themselves out in the gym mirrors. Icky. · Jul 19 at 2:12pm
Age is another factor. I hit 60 later this year (no gifts please). So I decide to wear an Armani. Will anyone care? Not likely.
Sep '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Tabula,
Hire a wardrobe consultant or clothier, give them a budget, explain your situation and start. There are certain lines of professional work where the expenditure's an investment.
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
You get non-frivolous points for the "matchy-matchy" allusion.
May '11
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
I don't think I've bought any new clothes in 10 years. Either my wife or shame shame shame my mom who has good taste will buy me some nice clothes for my birthday or Christmas. I have no fashion sense. I still think half- fish- net tank tops, short shorts and knee high socks with stripes are cool. I'm still stuck in 1978. Eric Estrada is my hero.
Edited on July 20, 2011 at 12:42amJun '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Thelonious, thank God for your wife & mother!!!
Layla, it's obviously bothering you.....treat yourself to a nice trip to a good department store (like Nordstroms) where a personal shopper will take care of you. You can request the solid, timeless classics and then get a lesson on how to accessorize. Spend $$ on the classics and go bargain hunting for the accessories that can liven it up a bit.
I'm a boring dresser by choice -- lots of khaki and solids. I just can't be bothered. (I do insist that the clothes fit well and are well made.) But my daughter, like my late mom, is an absolute fashionista. I think you have to be born with the flair and the personality to pull that off, whether it's trendy flair or classic flair.
May '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
From my experience, here are the rules for men (in order of importance):
Bottom line is that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to look good (though quality fabrics last longer and hold their shape better). JC Penny that follows the rules will beat Savile Row that doesn’t. Don’t focus on the prim, but the basics.
A final recommendation would be to dress your age and profession. Early 20’s shouldn’t be wearing French-cuff; mature people shouldn’t be wearing skinny pants and pointy shoes.
Jul '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
tabula rasa:I also have a completely irrational fashion pet peeve. It's guys who show up to something casual in an expensive shirt, expensive shorts, no socks, and wearing a pair of expensive Italian loafers (sun glasses are optional, but must be fashionably up on their head). I have an almost uncontrollable urge to give them a swift kick in the rear and then tell them to "ACT LIKE A MAN!" Maybe it's the farm boy in me or perhaps I'm just insane. I see a guy like that and my mind says, "Pansy Liberal." · Jul 19 at 2:01pm
Edited on Jul 19 at 02:02 pm
My pet peeve is the opposite. It's a guy who shows up at something formal wearing shorts, T-shirt/tank top, and sandals. I'd like to give them a kick in the rear and yell "ACT LIKE A MAN!" I saw plenty of that at a Baylor graduation this year. Parents and Grandparents alike.
Here's advice for the Ladies.
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Even the best of them talk about fashion:
George Will: America's Bad Jeans
(h/t Troy Senik)
P.S. I hardly take fashion advice from someone who regularly sports a bow tie. How clown-like can you get?
May '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Pseudodionysius: Tabula,
Hire a wardrobe consultant or clothier, give them a budget, explain your situation and start. There are certain lines of professional work where the expenditure's an investment. · Jul 19 at 3:05pm
Do you do that, Pseud? I'm stunned.
Where does one find such a person?
Edited on July 20, 2011 at 3:30amJul '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
My summer couture consists of shorts and T-shirt. My winter couture is jeans and T-shirt. Buck up, you're always better dressed than me.
Edited on July 20, 2011 at 3:37amMay '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Pseudodionysius: Tabula,
Hire a wardrobe consultant or clothier, give them a budget, explain your situation and start. There are certain lines of professional work where the expenditure's an investment. · Jul 19 at 3:05pm
Uh huh. Says the Kitty wearing no clothes...
May '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
I'm with you, Layla. I'd much rather spend my $ on photography equipment or books or music. Clothes? Meh. It's rather sad when I look at my closet and realize my husband has more clothes than I do.
Dec '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Whiskey Sam: My summer couture consists of shorts and T-shirt. My winter couture is jeans and T-shirt. Buck up, you're always better dressed than me. · Jul 19 at 6:30pm
Edited on Jul 19 at 06:37 pm
I'm right there with you. My hardest choice is whether or not to pony up the extra bones for Carhartt. Now that I'm out of the navy I don't have the option of dress blues for funerals and weddings, so I may have to rethink my closet at some point.
Jun '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Jimmy Carter
tabula rasa:I also have a completely irrational fashion pet peeve. It's guys who show up to something casual in an expensive shirt, expensive shorts, no socks, and wearing a pair of expensive Italian loafers (sun glasses are optional, but must be fashionably up on their head). I have an almost uncontrollable urge to give them a swift kick in the rear and then tell them to "ACT LIKE A MAN!" Maybe it's the farm boy in me or perhaps I'm just insane. I see a guy like that and my mind says, "Pansy Liberal." · Jul 19 at 2:01pm
Edited on Jul 19 at 02:02 pm
My pet peeve is the opposite. It's a guy who shows up at something formal wearing shorts, T-shirt/tank top, and sandals. I'd like to give them a kick in the rear and yell "ACT LIKE A MAN!" I saw plenty of that at a Baylor graduation this year. Parents and Grandparents alike.
Here's advice for the Ladies. · Jul 19 at 5:16pm
You're pet peeve is every bit as good as mine.
Dec '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
I'm in one of the last professions that requires a suit on a daily basis. Even my brother the lawyer can dress business casual when he's not in court. Even at that it's hard for me to spend money on expensive suits. It's not easy when you have to stand in a Southern California cemetery in August wearing a dark suit. A good suit gets wilted pretty fast, so I hit somewhere in the middle.
That said, I like wearing a suit everyday. It's amazing how people treat you especially in casual So Cal. It's like I'm actually an adult. Unlike most men I love choosing and wearing ties. I could wear a new one every day if I could. It's the only colorful expression that I can indulge as I ply what some call "the dismal trade".
Dec '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Layla, I like waring a suit, every day. I really enjoy quality clothing, none of which I got from the Men's Wearhouse. I have a closet full of clothes that I have carefully pieced together, with plenty of advice.
Go for quality, not quantity.
I now wear a partial beard and torn shorts. Sometimes, I wear a shirt. My fiancee thinks I should do the no-shirt thing less frequently, but I am in my Galt phase.
Her eyes light up when I shave, get a haircut, put on some nice clothing, then she finally gets out of the bathroom and sees her date. This is what good clothing is all about, being able to own, take care,and wear it, casually.
Mostly, iI'm just a three-day beard, torn shorts, and, if I remember, a shirt. And a patient fiancee.
It's very rare that I am inspired to dress well, lately. I quit my corporate job almost 3 years ago and the world around me is filled with people that consider a belt, over shorts, over exposed boxers, to be fashion.
Find quality clothing that will last, as trends will be ephemeral.
May '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
And even in this discussion we can turn to the founders.
Franklin said eat to please yourself, dress to please others.
Nov '10
Re: Shamelessly Frivolous Thread: On Dressing Well
Insouciance is key.
In my day as a sophomore we first dressed and groomed perfectly and then, in front of the mirror, we yanked the tie off center, we left one button-down collar unbuttoned, we billowed our starched white shirts at the waist, and we mussed our hair just so.