Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
I can't believe someone actually got funded to do the research that resulted in this headline: Cats Adore, Manipulate Women:
While cats have plenty of male admirers, and vice versa, this study and others reveal that women tend to interact with their cats -- be they male or female felines -- more than men do.
"In response, the cats approach female owners more frequently, and initiate contact more frequently (such as jumping on laps) than they do with male owners," co-author Manuela Wedl of the University of Vienna told Discovery News, adding that "female owners have more intense relationships with their cats than do male owners."
You don't say. The research, by the way, was conducted by the Konrad Lorenz Research Station and the University of Vienna. I wonder how much funding they got to come up with this finding?
If anyone wants to see whether these results can be replicated--and you know, that's the essence of science, replicating results--I want the world to know that I am standing by. For the right price, I can also look into such unsettled questions as, "What will pigeons do if you throw bread crumbs on the sidewalk?"
Man, there are a lot of major scientific mysteries I could investigate, now that I think about it. That whole question about how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I could totally look into that. Just set me up with a few woodchucks and a modest stipend. I'll have the answer for you next year.
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Sep '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Its like someone rang the dinner bell.
Oct '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Just think, with enough money we could all team up and develop a climate theory that gives us perpetual grants.
Jul '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Here's some video evidence to help you get the ball rolling Claire.
Feb '11
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
My son just learned that bit about the woodchuck and has been going around saying it for the last ten days. Funny it shows up here just now.
Nov '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Ironically, I suspect that, if research ideas were funded in a free market, then this is precisely the sort of research that would get funded, given the frequency of feline fans...
In general, just as there is no accounting for taste, can there be any for curiosity? Note that it is only in a taxpayer-funded market that conflict arises over what should be studied, given that many X's disagree about what Y's should study what Z's, based on public funds; in a free-market, however, if X wanted to fund Y privately to study Z, then that would be X's and Y's business alone.
Feb '11
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Woodchuck study / "I'll have an answer for you in a year"
No, no, no, no. You're not getting it. What you should have in a year is not an *answer*, but a very partial and incomplete set of results, culminating in the conclusion that "More research is needed."
Sep '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
We need more research into this kind of thing, not less. Your attitude is the reason conservatives get labeled as anti-science. For example, do we really know why it is that tuna tastes so good to cats?
Well, do we?
Edited on Feb 28, 2011 at 5:44amJan '11
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
I tried that after my federally-subsidized Jackelope ranch went under. The answer is: not much.
"When an academic 'discovers' what us mere mortals have known for eons, it's called 'social science'."
Edited on Feb 28, 2011 at 5:49amDec '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
I would assume that a "modest stipend" would be somewhere in the 8 figures range, right Claire?
May '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
"While cats have plenty of male admirers"
Only in the technical sense.
Jun '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Excluding pennies, of course.
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
K T Cat: We need more research into this kind of thing, not less. Your attitude is the reason conservatives get labeled as anti-science. For example, do we really know why it is that tuna tastes so good to cats?
Well, do we? · Feb 28 at 5:43am
Edited on Feb 28 at 05:44 am
No we do not. Nor do we fully understand why there's cat barf on my carpet. It wasn't there half an hour ago. This is quite an interesting problem, especially because the volume of barf exceeds the amount of food any one of my cats ingested, which I'm sure violates the laws of thermodynamics. Pro-science conservatives, please back me up in my plea for funding to investigate this.
Jul '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
So 41 pairs of cats and owners is now a statistically valid sample. The wonders of modern science.
Also, seen this before, one cat gets ill, next cat comes in, sniffs it, gets ill, lather, rinse, repeat.
Of course, just as a capitalist will sell you the rope to hang him with, a grant-seeker will sell you the research to discredit grant-seeking as a way to further science.
Edited on Feb 28, 2011 at 9:13amMay '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
K T Cat: · Feb 28 at 5:43am
Edited on Feb 28 at 05:44 am
No we do not. Nor do we fully understand why there's cat barf on my carpet. It wasn't there half an hour ago. This is quite an interesting problem, especially because the volume of barf exceeds the amount of food any one of my cats ingested, which I'm sure violates the laws of thermodynamics. Pro-science conservatives, please back me up in my plea for funding to investigate this. · Feb 28 at 7:37am
Schrodinger, call your office.
Feb '11
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Doesn't this say more about the grant giver than anything else? It's all warm and fuzzy, but of what consequence? Makes me wonder about relationship between mover and shaker on the grant giving committee and the person receiving the grant. As though things like that never happen. Considering the clickishness of academics, you'd think they never really got out of high school.
Nov '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
... Nor do we fully understand why there's cat barf on my carpet. It wasn't there half an hour ago. This is quite an interesting problem, especially because the volume of barf exceeds the amount of food any one of my cats ingested, which I'm sure violates the laws of thermodynamics. Pro-science conservatives, please back me up in my plea for funding to investigate this. · Feb 28 at 7:37am
At least dogs have the courtesy to lick it back up, even if it isn't their own. Yet another reason to dislike cats.
Oct '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
Sounds like something from, The Annals of Improbable Research. Get a grant....
Study why goldfish come to the side of the bowl or tank when the see you..hmmm
Otherwise..Cats seem to select a person and stick to it, as it were.
Dec '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
I had a wood chuck (called ground hogs around here, for whatever reason) living under my deck last summer.
That whole episode ended poorly for him.
It's been my experience that cats and dogs gravitate toward the people who know the best scratching spots.
Oct '10
Re: Scientists Adore, Manipulate Research Grants
I can only note that conservation of matter also seems to be violated by the percentage of socks that go into the drier, but never come out. Problem solved?