Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Natasha: And there, maybe you haff heard of man named Stalin.
Claire: Of course.
Natasha: Of course but some do not know who is Stalin.
Claire (To herself): Our education system is a complete failure. (Out loud): I know who is Stalin.
Natasha: Well you may not know Stalin had big rival, Kirov. There (points) we keel heem. In Russian when we keel someone we keel heem real good.
Claire: Of course.
Natasha, minutes later: There (points) we begin keeling Rasputin.
Claire: Of course.
Natasha, minutes later: So, maybe you ask me how things now, after Soviet times.
Claire: Yes, actually, I was wondering what you thought.
Natasha: In Soviet times, I was Child Pioneer. I wore red badge with photo of V.I. Lenin. ... You laff but was not funny.
Claire: I know.
Natasha: Back in Soviet times there was no incentive to make money. All doctors paid the same, even iff work longer hours. But there was no unemployment, no insecurity. We were satisfied. Now all Russian men drink themselves to death, iss beeg problem.
Claire: How high is the unemployment rate in St. Petersburg?
Natasha: Iss three percent.
Claire: Why do the other 97 percent drink themselves to death?
Natasha: Iss what Russian man do. Iss very bad problem.
Claire: I see.
Natasha: Sometimes they drink the thing, I don't know word, that you put in car. Very bad problem. Their children haff brain damage.
Claire: I see. They do this because of unemployment?
Natasha: You sound like journalist.
Claire: Hey, speaking of journalists: How about freedom of expression? Do you prefer that now to Soviet times?
Natasha: Yes, iss better now. Problem iss Russian men, they use it only to swear.
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Sep '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Moose and Squirrel!
May '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Unemployment is only 3%? Bring on the vodka, maybe that will get us out of this mess.
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
We all knew about Claire's gorgeous talent for exposition. But who knew about this ear for dialog?
David Mamet, call your office.
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
To further confirm the failure of our education system, what do they drink that we put in our cars?
Jun '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Antifreeze, and if not that, then perfume, moonshine, or other scary concoctions.
Meanwhile, great capture of a very authentic discussion with a Russian. In fact, the richer the country has gotten since Soviet times, the more alcohol they consume. Now they can really afford to party. Also, their unemployment rates are always that low, though very possibly accurate, since the underemployment is massive.
Sep '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Peter Robinson: We all knew about Claire's gorgeous talent for exposition. But who knew about this ear for dialog?
David Mamet, call your office. · Jun 7 at 8:25pm
I don't think Mr. Mamet needs to call his office. I think you need to call him. Get him on a podcast I'm begging you.
Jun '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Dave Molinari
Antifreeze, and if not that, then perfume, moonshine, or other scary concoctions.
Meanwhile, great capture of a very authentic discussion with a Russian. In fact, the richer the country has gotten since Soviet times, the more alcohol they consume. Now they can really afford to party. Also, their unemployment rates are always that low, though very possibly accurate, since the underemployment is massive. · Jun 7 at 8:35pm
As a sort of reverse phenomenon, it is not unusual for Russians to use vodka for their windshield wiper fluid since it doesn't freeze in the cold weather.
Sep '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Dave Molinari
Antifreeze, and if not that, then perfume, moonshine, or other scary concoctions.
Meanwhile, great capture of a very authentic discussion with a Russian. In fact, the richer the country has gotten since Soviet times, the more alcohol they consume. Now they can really afford to party. Also, their unemployment rates are always that low, though very possibly accurate, since the underemployment is massive. · Jun 7 at 8:35pm
Reminds me of the story I heard of the crazy Russian, you know, the guy that put the cork back in the bottle.
And Dave, let's forget the last section of LEVIATHAN and move on. Skype me.
May '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
I read years ago that during the Andropov era, Andropov ordered the destruction of acres of vineyards and curtailed severely the production of vodka in an effort to get the soviet people to sober up. The people responded in very creative ways in order to get a buzz, such as:
Boil a table leg until the varnish dissolves into the water. Drink the water.
Shave a bald patch on the top of your head. Daub shoe polish onto bald spot. Walk in the sun until your skin absorbs the polish.
That's central planning for ya. As far as I'm concerned you can shrivel Andropov.
Nov '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Excellent rendition of Russian speaking. Ees almost perfect.
God bless my dear Russian friends.
May '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Ethanol.
Jun '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Both Andropov and Gorbachev pushed the anti-alcohol agenda in the eighties with lackluster results, if not even disastrous results.
First, Andropov was convinced that the problem with the Soviet system was that there was not enough discipline in the workforce. Too many people were sneaking off from work to wait in food lines or to watch movies. He got the police to raid theaters and queues to get people back to work.
Second, as mentioned, both started winding back the production of alcohol which did cause a significant reduction in consumption of the legal stuff. The only oversight of all this was that they forgot that the government made huge money off the taxes paid on alcohol which ultimately put a huge dent in their national budget. Yes, the drop in oil prices and the arms race killed them, but the loss of taxes from alcohol was an often overlooked factor in the demise of the Soviet Union. I think that's what they call irony.
Jun '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
And Claire, I love how you imitated Natasha's English. It was perfect.
Sep '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Boris Badanov sez mus laff moose 'n sqwirl.
Veely dawlink?
Veely dawlink.
Dec '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
And now you know why there is a thriving business in Russian mail-order brides, but no corresponding trade in Russian mail-order grooms.
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
State opinion on vodka as problem it is, how you say, on the see-saw. In time of Smirnov, tax on vodka pay for military and court, put bullets in rifles and the ermine around neck of Tsar. Reformers cry is shame to pay for this with misery of the people; goberment reply with nationalization for the safety and purity of the vodka. Taverns, close. The peoples, they drink at home of the boiled potato but with the lead from pipes; many die. Reformers cry is shame for goberment to encourage this, and to tax what goberment only allow to sell, so Smirnov is to be permitted once more of the vokda to sell. When he die, after Revolution, same thing with Soviets - is banned, is permitted.
Always same in Russia; different only whose hand holds throat of bottle.
Jul '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
Natasha: In Russian when we keel someone we keel heem real good.
Claire: Of course.
Truer words ne'er were spake.
Mar '11
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
A great book on the subject of Russian men drinking (albeit in Soviet times, but probably pretty relevant now as well) is Venedikt Erofeev's "Moscow to the end of the line". Here's the description from the Amazon site that sums it up pretty accurately:
"[...]one drunken man's (Venichka's) journey on the Moskovskaia-Gor'skovskaia train line to visit his lover and child in the Petushki. En route, Venichka talks with other travelers in dialogue and he also speaks in monologue about various themes such as drinking, Russian literature and philosophy and the sad, poetic soul of the Russian peasant. As the novel progresses, it becomes increasingly dark, disoriented, hallucinogenic and surrealistic, in proportion to the narrator's alcohol intake."
May '10
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Sounds like a real fun place.
Steyn's been saying for some time that eventually all those extra, unsatisfied Russian women will hook up with all those extra, unsatisfied Chinese men.
Makes sense.
Jun '11
Re: Russian History With Natasha, Official Licensed Russian Tour Guide
Don't want anyone to get fatal ideas! Antifreeze is a deadly poison! Don't think even Russian men drink it more than once!