Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
(Deep breath...)
Please bear with me, it will take a bit to get to my point... I was an enthusiastic early adopter of the internet. My head always in a book as a child, the internet was like having the world's library at home. But, for all my enthusiasm, I have also been a committed lurker. Never, ever, did I post a comment or a review.
Then along came Ricochet. It coincided with some other shyness issues in my life and so, I resolved to post at Ricochet. Not often, not gregariously. As I glance back over some of these posts, I am not, well, particularly proud of them. Dad gum, you people can write! Most of my posts qualify as 'well, hullo, Captain Obvious'-type posts or 'what were you thinking!?' posts. Still, I overcame my shyness and hesitancy to post on occasion. That's a step. I feel a part of this community and I have loved it. In fact, so much so, (don't tell my husband) it intrudes everyday upon my at-home job.
There are no specific conversations that I can point to, but Ricochet has convinced me that as a citizen, part of my responsibility is personal, one-on-one discussions with those in my periphery concerning the direction of our great nation. I've just had the opportunity to do just that by responding to a friend's facebook posting. He is a black pastor. The gist of his post was that the furor directed toward our president is because he is black. The emotion in George's post was hurt, anger, and protectiveness toward President Obama. My response:
"George, I hear the passion in your writing, I do. But (and I say this as one of the uninsured working Americans) the reaction to the health plan promoted by President Obama has nothing to do with his race. The reaction is to the federal takeover of US health care. In my opinion, command and control from the top of a system with 350+ million participants will be a disaster! It will make health care more expensive and less responsive. There are many other ways to deal with a problem that affects, what, 1/8 to 1/10 of our population?
There is nothing more a large contingent of our media and many in power in the US would like than to make the next presidential election based on race issues. IT WILL TEAR US ASUNDER. I ask you, as an old friend, a man of God, a brother in Christ, PLEASE don't go there. The libertarian and conservatives in our nation, of which I am one, have their focus on economic and constitutional issues. I can't speak for all obviously, but this is not a racial reaction, but a reaction based on economics and the structure of our government. And we can argue and disagree about those things all day long.
I am proud that we have elected our first black President. But, for me at least, the last time I thought about President Obama being black was on Inauguration Day. Isn't that the way we want it to be?
I hope this note will not change our relationship. I've thought about your post for two days and felt led to say this. I hope it is taken in the spirit in which it is offered. I thank you for posting. "
Why am I sharing this here? I imagine most of you reading this are thinking, well, yeah, I do that every day. But it is a big step for me! Maybe part of the reason is 'Hey, ma, look what I did!' But mostly, it is to ask for help with the communication, how to address my friend's emotional response.
Better stated, how do we, as Ricochetians, meet our black compatriots' emotional response to the rejection of President Obama's agenda?
(...a deep breath and post)
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Comments :
Oct '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Dad gum, you can write. I don't know how that message to your friend could be improved, it's up there in the Aaron Miller and Katievs realm.
May '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
I'm glad you clicked POST, and look forward to you doing so again.
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Dad gum, you can write!
As for meeting emotional responses, that's a tough one. Mostly, you have to wait until they blow themselves out, if they are truly emotional that is. It is after this point that the emotional may begin to listen to reason.
To varying degrees of success, I usually only ask questions. If you're really lucky some of the questions will begin to come back as requests for answers. The problem with Obama is red, white, or blue he lacks the political acumen and executive skills required to hold the office he's been elected to. It matters not if I am right or wrong in this contention, as evidence will out and it will be proven either way. The reality is we all think we have all the political answers. We wouldn't be here if we didn't think this. The last thing you want to do is act, speak, or write as if you do have all the answers, especially if you want to win a person over to your way of thinking.
Last point, I enjoyed your writing and see no reason for your diffidence, charming as it is.
Jul '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Very nice work. But I think you can forget about trying to persuade black people that ANY criticism of Obama is not rooted in KKK racism that in modern times is slightly more polite than burning crosses in front yards. They have embraced victimhood as an explanation for the deep pathology of their community -- crime, drugs, promiscuity, absent fathers, etc. That combined with their slavish bond with Democratic paternalism means it will be generations before change is possible.
Jun '11
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
When someone's mind is not open to a possibility, persuasion becomes an impossible task.
"Let he who has ears to hear, hear."
Leading by example, however, can produce miraculous results.
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
I respectfully disagree: the seemingly hard is not impossible.
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Cas Balicki
I respectfully disagree: the seemingly hard is not impossible. · Sep 16 at 5:52am
I respectfully disagree: the seemingly informed voting constituency never votes at 90% plus in an election. This is the most clear evidence that there is something "impossible" going on here. It is also proof of the success that the Dems have had in Balkanizing American blacks.
Aug '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Terrific post. Your response to your pastor-friend was fair-minded and humble. What's more, it did indeed express the feelings of other conservatives. (This one, at least.)
Sep '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Would that we all take more deep breaths before we post. Very nicely done: your Ricochet post and your response to your friend's Facebook posting.
Sep '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Wonderful note to your friend—and on Facebook, too, for all the world to see! Very brave. Not having seen your friend's post, I have no way of knowing if he is as fair-minded as you, but if he's the man, friend, you say he is, I think your note will make a world of difference inside him, even if he doesn't show it immediately on the outside. Looking forward to more deep breaths.
Oct '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Cas Balicki
I respectfully disagree: the seemingly hard is not impossible. · Sep 16 at 5:52am
I respecfully agree. And, Briar Ann, ditto on the dad gum....
Keep speaking from the heart. That is where the change begins. Empathic communication is what is needed. Identify with the pain and speak what you believe is true about the circumstance.
Keep posting, and keep trying to make the world a better place!
Feb '11
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Jerry Carroll: Are all black people the same? Although your post has some elements of truth in it, I dislike this type of blanket statement. Each human being is an individual. Black people have not all embraced victimhood, any more than all women are man-hating feminists or all Irish lazy drunkards. Sure, I've known plenty Irish drunkards, but as a female of the Irish persuasion I wouldn't want to be lumped together with them all.
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Your ability to use "Dad gum" in a sentence puts you in the upper echelon of Ricochet writers! Keep 'em coming!
As for your friend, I'm afraid false allegations of racism is the new racism in America. The election of Barack Obama has drawn out prejudices against white people that were heretofore suppressed (those prejudices against whites can be held by blacks and whites).
I grew up in a Black neighborhood and have certainly never been accused of racism by the poeple who know me. But when I attended a Congressional Town Hall by my Democrat congressman before Obamacare was passed, twice that night I was called a racist. Funny thing was, I didn't speak against the bill. I only pointed out a flaw in the pre-existing condition clause, that Congress later remedied.
It occured to me that the only reason people were calling me a racist was the color of my skin. It was their own prejudice against white people (their thinking that we are racist based on nothing more than our color) that was causing them to shout "racist" at me.
The fix lies in us calling racism on fale accusors.
Mar '11
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
As a libertarian Torah Jew, I certainly agree that lumping people, while convenient and often accurate, invariably sells individuals - and their capability to be individuals - short.
I admire those who make the effort to explain themselves to those with whom communications can be difficult. We all know it usually is a waste of time, but the process improves the communicator even if it falls on deaf ears.
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Excellent post! Your Facebook post was an eloquent response to a friend's concerns. I will say, however, that I don't think that conservatives, as a general matter, should try to convince liberals that we are not racist. It's impossible to prove a negative proposition, especially when it has to do with one's state of mind. Instead I would challenge liberals to look at what Obama's policies have done to average black citizens. The welfare-statism that Obama embraces has exacerbated sky-high black unemployment and illegitimacy rates. His education folks opposes the vouchers that black parents are crying out for (although he at least pays lip service to charter schools). The list goes on.
May '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
If he's at all open, your note--so thoughtfully and sympathetically composed--will have an effect, even if it's just disarming him and making him hesitate a little before he hurls blanket insults again.
Let us know if he responds.
Mar '11
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Liberals never look back. That would be disastrous - look at all the failed policies! Look at Detroit and Cleveland and Baltimore!
What matters to a liberal is unblinking faith in the power of positive intentions. And as long as Obama has that, he won't lose his core.
Jan '11
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
I'd like to see anyone on 'our side' ask one of those making the racism charge if they could reccommend how we could oppose the policies of this President and the Democrats in general in a non-racist fashion.
May '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
iWc
Liberals never look back. That would be disastrous - look at all the failed policies! Look at Detroit and Cleveland and Baltimore!
What matters to a liberal is unblinking faith in the power of positive intentions. And as long as Obama has that, he won't lose his core. · Sep 16 at 6:50am
Some liberals actually become conservatives.
Nov '10
Re: Ricochet, What a Difference You've Made in My Life
Well done. The quality of writing at Ricochet can be intimidating. So to can it be inspiring. I am sure many other members who pine to post yet find themselves intimidated by those with more confidence, or to echo the always insightful and eternally feline Pseudodionysius above, hubris, will be inspired by your post. The way I liken it is to find your voice, and be confident in what you have to say. From the beginning, I have been drawn to the conversation aspect of Ricochet. And what more is a conversation than a collection of voices.
As a prolific talker, I am intrigued by how much better of a listener I have become via my time at Ricochet. Having dabbled in random posts, I found myself trying too hard to come up with something to say resulting in a voice that came across as less than sincere. At least that's how I read it back. But eventually, I did find a way to join, and even lead, the conversation..
I now enjoy posting . But even more, I enjoy sitting back, learning from what others, like yourself, have to say. And enjoying the way you say it.