Ricochet Undercover
While I admire Ricochet for what it’s become, I believe it can do much more, so I’ve decided to do some undercover reporting for the site. I recognize the risk involved in this sort of work and, of course, the challenge of infiltrating private and governmental offices after having been on a wildly popular nightly game show for nearly 30 years. Nonetheless, I feel compelled to take the investigatory plunge. I don’t know how long it will take or what impact it will have on Ricochet or, for that matter, society at large, but my aim is to make this a better site in a better world. To that end, here are just some of the first scoops I’m working on:
BONELESS CHICKEN WINGS ARE NOT REALLY WINGS AT ALL!
I’ve come into the possession of exclusive information that will blow the beak off the poultry business. Secret surveillance photography will prove there are no workers at chicken plants painstakingly removing the tiny bones. Nor are special boneless chickens being bred. Rather, what’s being sold to us as boneless wings are merely little chunks of white meat covered with a sauce designed to create the illusion that consumers are actually eating wings. You’ll never look at appetizers the same way.
RAP STAR DR. DRE IS NOT AN M.D.!
For years, this performer has been operating with the title of “doctor.” My investigation will travel through medical schools in the U.S. and abroad, and I will ultimately prove he never attended any of these institutions. Nor is there any evidence of a PhD nor, for that matter, any sort of advanced degree. My sources at the respected research site, Wikipedia, suggest Dre might not even be his real name. Similar investigations into the lives of “Queen” Latifah and “Prince” will also net some surprising news that will blow the amps off the recording industry.
PRESIDENT OBAMA USES A TELEPROMPTER!
Expert examination of never-before-seen photographs will demonstrate that the President of the United States, supposedly known for his soaring rhetoric, actually reads all of his words (nearly always written by others) from a device that cannot be seen by his audience, but that allows him to see the words as they appear before his eyes. I expect denials from the highest levels of government, but my irrefutable evidence will surely blow the Presidential Seal off Washington.
These are just small samples of what lies ahead for Ricochet readers. I’m off into hiding for a while. Goodbye, Rob. Goodbye, Peter. Wish me well.
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Comments :
Feb '11
Re: Ricochet Undercover
I'm pretty sure Prince is a charlatan, but Her Royal Highness, my queen, Latifah, is by divine right a monarch of the realm. I'm not quite sure which realm.
Jan '11
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Whatever
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Pat: You've only found the tip of the iceberg. I have it on good authority, though not yet confirmed by two sources, that "buffalo wings" don't have any buffalo in them (and, come on, even I know they're four-footed animals without wings).
Sadly, I also recently learned that Dr. J, Julius Erving, is not a medical doctor.
Finally, Obama was actually born in Indonesia (but Indonesia was secretly made a state during the Carter administration).
You could be blowing the lid off a great conspiracy.
Be safe.
Nov '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
You may be able to disguise the famous face ... but what about the voice?? I suppose you could pretend to be mute ...
Nov '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Pat,
What happened to your twitter feed and youtube videos? They were hilarious! If it was your producers, you tell them to come talk to me.
Dec '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Pat
Some nice men with nets are coming by. Don't be alarmed. They are looking for butterflies.
May '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Pat Sajak:
... information that will blow the beak off the poultry business.
...news that will blow the amps off the recording industry.
What a blowhard.
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Jan-Michael Rives: Pat,
What happened to your twitter feed and youtube videos? They were hilarious! If it was your producers, you tell them to come talk to me. · Mar 7 at 2:15pm
Am unable to answer while in hiding.
Dec '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Boneless Chicken Ranch
Aug '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Shane ! Come back !!
I mean you do sorta look like Alan Ladd, just taller.
Edited on Mar 7, 2011 at 2:23pmSep '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
If this is all true, then perhaps even General Mills' record of service in the Army is in doubt.
Jan '11
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Of course, we must ask the question ... what did Vanna know, and when did she know it?
May '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Not to mention his able second-in-command, Colonel Panic.
Dec '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Mr. Sajak-
While undercover, can you find out which church the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches at every Sunday?
In regards to Ottoman Empire's request..find out who Major SNAFU is..he's gotta be working for Obama's advisory team..!
Edited on Mar 7, 2011 at 3:17pmJan '11
Re: Ricochet Undercover
A Pullet Surprise is coming your way; I can smell it.
I'm sure a ticker tape parade awaits your return. If not, you can play in the traffic; it's the same thing.
Edited on Mar 7, 2011 at 8:57pmJul '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Huzzah! Long live the Queen!
By the way, Islander, you have got, in my opinion, the BEST avatar on Ricochet!
Jul '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
It's pretty cool Humza... but mine's much more popular.
RAP STAR DR. DRE IS NOT AN M.D.!
For years, this performer has been operating with the title of “doctor.” My investigation will travel through medical schools in the U.S. and abroad, and I will ultimately prove he never attended any of these institutions. Nor is there any evidence of a PhD nor, for that matter, any sort of advanced degree. My sources at the respected research site, Wikipedia, suggest Dre might not even be his real name.
Are we gonna let this go unchallenged?
Call Dre a pharmacist if you must, but if he hasn't prescribed Medical Mary Jane on his own authority, I'll eat my hat.
Next you're gonna tell us that Iran doesn't have American interests at heart.
Get real.
Edited on Mar 7, 2011 at 5:28pmFeb '11
Re: Ricochet Undercover
It should be noted that there is, in fact, no such thing as "buffalo wings." If you're in Buffalo, you don't call them that. If you're not in Buffalo, you have no clue how to make them.
Jul '10
Re: Ricochet Undercover
You, sir, are the Upton Sinclair of bar food.
Jan '11
Re: Ricochet Undercover
Pat,
I can't help but write a serious response to your point about chicken wings.
For decades, wholesale wings were much cheaper than breast meat. Now? Different story - in the last couple years, we've had months where wing prices eclipsed breast meat prices.
There are all sorts of reasons, from wings being somewhat protected from the poor economy because they're seen as cheap luxuries, to tchicken breast meat prices falling parallel to restaurant-going.
Long story short - in the last few years, this is why we've seen boneless wings replacing traditional wings as appetizers, especially at chain restaurants. We've finally hit a price point where dressing up white meat like a real buffalo/bbq-style chicken wing makes financial sense for the eatery.
Throw in the fact that non-BBQ restaurants can serve up these imposter-wings - which again, are cheaper than real wings and are still in the good graces of consumers during a poor economy - and we see a nationwide boneless wing explosion.
There may not be a bone, but there's a tiny economics textbook somewhere inside each boneless wing.