Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
The Chronicle of Higher Education is on to us, men. They've got our number. They've read our secret texts, they've cogitated upon them deeply, and I must caution you, they grasp what conservatives are all about: We're just seriously into violence and war.
Disturbingly, Corey Robin has studied us so closely as to divine our deepest secret: Myopic and mild-mannered David Brooks has in fact all along been channeling the spirit of Himmler:
Even the sunniest of neoconservative spirits can't get enough of the dark arts of war. "We have traded the anxieties of affluence for the real fears of war," a fizzy David Brooks wrote after 9/11. Channeling not only Burke—a patrimony he would be only too happy to claim—but also Schmitt and a great many other fascist and proto-fascist writers, Brooks welcomed "the fear that is so prevalent in the country" as a "cleanser, washing away a lot of the self-indulgence of the past decade." Being attacked, it seems, and attacking back, is like that bracing slap of after-shave in the morning.
What can I say? When a man's right, he's right! War, we love it!
Now, it's possible that this is just exquisite self-parody. But if it isn't--and I say we shouldn't take any risks--then I'd say it is pretty clear that The Chronicle of Higher Education is a threat to Ricochet and we must annihilate them before they strike us first.
Not only do they threaten our entire way of life, but annihilating them will be exciting! War is life and peace is death, and besides, I'm bored. Mind you, we need to make it look as if they started it--and frankly, they sort of did.
Therefore,
To the Ambassador of The Chronicle of Higher Education:
On the morning of October 27 The Chronicle of Higher Education, pursuing its course of world conquest, declared war against the Ricochet Empire. The long-known and the long-expected has thus taken place. The forces endeavoring to enslave the entire world now are moving toward this hemisphere. Never before has there been a greater challenge to life, liberty and civilization. Delay invites great danger. Rapid and united effort by all of the peoples of the world who are determined to remain free and have a really exciting war with a lot of blood and gore, just like in the movies, will ensure a world victory of the forces of justice and of righteousness over the forces of savagery and of barbarism.
I have the honor to inform the Ambassador of The Chronicle of Higher Education as follows: Her Majesty the Emperor, in the name of the Ricochet Empire, accepts the challenge and considers herself at war with The Chronicle of Higher Education.
Done. What are those socialist pansies going to do? They won't fight back. They, apparently, think war is boring.
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Aug '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
2 questions:
1. Where is the loyalty oath ?
2. Can we bring our own weapons ?
or is this a California-based org.?
favorite line has to be "It's hard to disagree with Sullivan..."
No it's not, unless your name is Corey or something equally neutral.
Edited on Oct 27, 2010 at 12:16pmJul '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
They'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day.
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Hey, how do we get a really good soundtrack for our war? Anyone know how to embed an MP3 into that post? It's not a proper war without a soundtrack, now, is it?
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Lots of options:
Bombastic and triumphal: Beethoven's "1812 Overture"
Nuanced and powerful: the Mars movement from Holtz's "The Planets"
Sad: Barber's "Adagio for Strings." (Even the fact that Oliver Stone used it in "Platoon" can't ruin it).
Bad enough to induce vomiting: Soundtrack to "Pearl Harbor."
Edited on Oct 27, 2010 at 12:54pmMay '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Were FDR, Woodrow Wilson, Harry Truman, and Barack Obama conservatives?
Churchill, was a lover of war and a conservative. England should have listened to him sooner, and we shouldn't ignore Claire's warmongering warning. That's called learning from History. How sublime.
Sep '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Gustav Holst, Planets (Mars) is the soundtrack of choice for our war.
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
It is telling that the lefties are so inclined to psychoanalyze conservatives and so disinclined to apply the same technique to themselves. The name of the author of the piece, by the way, is Corey Robin, not Corey Brooks. I knew him slightly about eleven years ago when I taught for a year at Yale and he was a graduate student. What I remember about him was his propensity to twist whatever argument he found in a text of political philosophy for the purpose of making a partisan point. He was a very angry young man at that time, and he still is. I could not help reflecting at the time on the degree to which hatred is an obstacle to understanding.
May '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Hooray! I've been doing battle with CHE for 13 years! I guess that makes me the Mujahadin!
Oct '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
We need to dust off our old Woodstock LP's for the theme Song. Country Joe and the Fish. The Viet Nam Song. I can smell the napalm now!
"Now come on generals, let's move fast! Your big chance is here at last! Gotta go out and get those reds, cuz the only good commie is the one that's dead. You know that peace can only be won when you blow 'em all to kingdom come!
And it's 1-2-3 what're we fighting for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Viet Nam!
And it's 5-6-7... open up the pearly gates! Well there ain't no time to wonder why....WHOOPEE we're all gonna die!"
Aug '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
tabula rasa
Lots of options:
Bombastic and triumphal: Beethoven's "1812 Overture"
Nuanced and powerful: the Mars movement from Holtz's "The Planets"
Sad: Barber's "Adagio for Strings." (Even the fact that Oliver Stone used it in "Platoon" can't ruin it).
Bad enough to induce vomiting: Soundtrack to "Pearl Harbor." · Oct 27 at 12:32pm
Edited on Oct 27 at 12:54 pm
We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
Jul '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Well, Walsh and EJ can coordinate messaging, that's no problem. I think you're right Claire, we'll whup 'em. But what's the exit strategy?
Kenneth's gonna demand we wipe out their infrastructure and call it a day, and Duane will push for us to conquer it & spend 20 years teaching the folks at the Chronicle to write stuff that makes sense.
We need to make a call.
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
And don't forget surfboards, as I have it on good authority "Charley don't surf".
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
I would only add to the above, "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of bore!"
May '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
You found a goodie Claire, but this one is still the best in recent memory: decrying the conservative, reactionary tone among most university administrations. Enjoy!
http://chronicle.com/article/Are-We-Commodities-/124914/
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
tabula rasa
Lots of options:
Bombastic and triumphal: Beethoven's "1812 Overture"
Nuanced and powerful: the Mars movement from Holtz's "The Planets"
Sad: Barber's "Adagio for Strings." (Even the fact that Oliver Stone used it in "Platoon" can't ruin it).
Bad enough to induce vomiting: Soundtrack to "Pearl Harbor." · Oct 27 at 12:32pm
Edited on Oct 27 at 12:54 pm
Tchaikovsky wrote The 1812. As for Beethoven you may be thinking of the 3rd symphony a.k.a The Eroica, which was first named The Emperor in honour of Napoleon.
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Ouch! Sure makes me glad I didn't spout some hooey in your class Doc.
Jun '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
I say lets prove 'em right now everyone sing after me, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles"
Edited on Oct 27, 2010 at 3:22pmJul '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Palaeologus: Well, Walsh and EJ can coordinate messaging, that's no problem. I think you're right Claire, we'll whup 'em. But what's the exit strategy?
Kenneth's gonna demand we wipe out their infrastructure and call it a day, and Duane will push for us to conquer it & spend 20 years teaching the folks at the Chronicle to write stuff that makes sense.
We need to make a call. · Oct 27 at 2:01pm
Too bad they don't have any cattle to slaughter.
Or crops to burn.
Sep '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Carl Orff's Carmina Burana because Andrea Ryan wouldn't have it any other way.
Jul '10
Re: Ricochet Hereby Declares War on the Chronicle of Higher Education
Second.
Nice surprise on the martial video choice, btw. I was expecting something a little more obvious:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Y_as3nHUY&feature=related
Edited on Oct 27, 2010 at 6:29pm