Red Ed
Peter asked me a few days ago what Margaret Thatcher would have made of Ed Miliband, the new leader of the British Labour Party. She would have thought him an abomination, of course, but I have to imagine any leader of the Conservative Party would be grateful to Labour for electing him: What more could you hope for in a political opponent than someone who inspires in voters such an overwhelming urge to change the channel? David Cameron is assuredly sleeping better these days.
The Economist's Bagehot was actually pretty funny about the leadership rally at which Miliband's victory was declared:
... the whole leadership rally was a long hymn of praise to the joys of the state, to great gobs of public spending, and above all to unionised public sector workers. The leadership announcement was preceded by a series of peppy Labour Party videos and a speech by Gordon Brown.
The longest video summed up Labour’s achievements in 13 years in power. It showed toddlers in state child care centres. It boasted of tens of thousands of extra police, nurses, doctors and teachers hired under Labour, over cheery pictures of NHS hospitals and state schools. It talked of laws passed by central government like the national minimum wage, laws establishing civil partnerships for gay couples, and welfare rules that lifted hundreds of thousands of children out of relative poverty. It showed nice things that Labour subsidised, like free fruit for schoolchildren and windfarms to produce renewable electricity and ended with the on-screen slogan: “Don’t let anyone say we didn’t make a difference”.
As thousands of party bigwigs and members in the hall cheered, clapped and stamped their feet, it occurred to me that the video precisely reversed an old line of Ronald Reagan’s. This was Labour saying that the ten most comforting words in the English language were: “I’m from the government and I am here to help.”
But here's the thing. Ed's ascent tells us that the unions are still capable of turning their guy into the leader of the Labour Party (and then, only during massive recessions and freakish planetary conjunctions). It does not say they can still make their guy into the prime minister. It does say that the Labour Party seems determined for now to stay out of power.
I know, I know, Pat Sajak is going to remember if I get this wrong (thankfully, no one else will), and just a few months ago the bookies had the odds against his getting this far at 10:1. Weird things can happen in democracies. Obama made it into office and all that. But I feel confident as confident as one can be about these things in saying Ed Miliband will never be prime minister. I say this not only because the man's red as the surface of Mars, but because he has the most hideous form of anti-charisma I've ever seen in a major political figure. I mean, watch this:
Did you get to the end? I thought not. You just couldn't watch all the way through, could you? He is so boring. His whole candidacy is straight to DVD. (On the other hand, the Made in Taiwan animated guide to the Labour Leadership contest is pretty amusing.)
Oh, one more Miliband family-fun fact: Their father was the celebrated Marxist Ralph Miliband, who was reportedly deeply disappointed that his sons joined the Labour Party, which he disdained as hopelessly compromised by its tepid truck with capitalism. As a friend of mine said, at least the Labour Party has a well-considered plan to achieve full employment for Britain's psychotherapists.*
*I'd give you credit for that line, friend, but you're not a real friend, you're a Facebook friend, and you used an alias so I don't know your name. Good line, though.
- Comment (9)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (3)
Comments :
Sep '10
Re: Red Ed
*I'd give you credit for that line, friend, but you're not a real friend, you're a Facebook friend, and you used an alias so I don't know your name. Good line, though.
I stopped purring momentarily when I read that line. The rest of the article is excellent.
Jul '10
Re: Red Ed
But Ed Miliband has so much experience in Britain expressing his viewpoints and establishing his credentials to get to the top. Isn't that the dispositive attribute we look for in our leaders?
Jul '10
Re: Red Ed
You are right about the anti-charisma. Even though it's early and I had a good night's sleep, I found my eyelids growing heavy sixty seconds into his remarks. A gift like this is rare and surely has some military application.
Re: Red Ed
It's freaky, isn't it?
Re: Red Ed
Pseudodionysius: *I'd give you credit for that line, friend, but you're not a real friend, you're a Facebook friend, and you used an alias so I don't know your name. Good line, though.
I stopped purring momentarily when I read that line. The rest of the article is excellent. · Sep 30 at 5:55am
I'm not saying that I don't cherish my anonymous Internet friends. I'm only saying that if you insist upon remaining anonymous, I can't give credit where credit is due.
Jun '10
Re: Red Ed
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
I'm not saying that I don't cherish my anonymous Internet friends. I'm only saying that if you insist upon remaining anonymous, I can't give credit where credit is due. · Sep 30 at 6:40am
Thanks for that, Claire. I had been holding back tears -- just feeling so, I don't know, unloved?
Jul '10
Re: Red Ed
Very little benefited Mrs. Thatcher nearly as much as Michael Foot and Neil Kinnock. I'm not especially impressed by David Cameron personally, but...this has to be just about the best thing that could happen to him. David Milliband might have posed a threat from pure charisma alone and a willingness to explore the middle ground; "Red Ed" (and I so hope they're smart enough to use that, though I doubt they are) is more likely to alienate the swing voters who are so proud of themselves for managing to elect a coalition and keep them away from Labour for years to come.
I shudder to think what the holidays for the Milliband family will be like, though...If David had been a little more brutal and less loyal, and challenged Gordon Brown last summer for the leadership...he'd likely be Leader of the Opposition right now or might have even managed to scrape by to head up the coalition himself. To lose by so few votes to his younger brother, that's gotta hurt.
Jun '10
Re: Red Ed
Anyone remember Pat Paulsen, who ran several fake campaigns for the presidency in which he portrayed himself as the most boring man in the world. Milliband makes Paulsen look charismatic--he even makes one long for that jolly prankster Gordon Brown.
Edited on Sep 30, 2010 at 10:45amRe: Red Ed
The only man to whom she owed more was Leopold Galtieri.