Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
It's a sifting process, really. So much can and does happen during the course of a day on the road that the idea of a "normal day" becomes something of a foreign concept for the long haul trucker. So the question becomes not so much what to write about but, more correctly, what not to write about? After all, many things are interesting but don't merit an article unto themselves. So from time to time, I put together a collection of random incidents and observances for your consideration and amusement. Herewith, some new offerings:
* Dinner with the Fuwappah Natives: I had dinner with this exotic and friendly tribe at Shooters Family Restaurant and Recreation Facility in Plover, Wisconsin, home of Thelma's Famous Salad Bar. If Thelma was there she wasn't advertising, though her name was on the menu which I was busy studying when I heard what sounded like a tour group approaching my table. It was the waitress, a Fuwappah Indian, so named because of the sound her flip flops made when they slapped against her feet as she walked. What began as a soft wappafuwappa that more or less faded into the ambient sounds of the room became louder as she drew closer, prompting me to look up in anticipation of a stampede headed for my table. But it was just one little waitress with shoes that went FUWAPPAFUWAPPAFUWAPPA, and so on. I dismissed as a fluke the idea that one person could make such a ruckus with two shoes, … until another member of the tribe left the Recreation Facility, which is actually the adjoining bar, and made her way to the Ladies Room with an even louder FUWAPPAFUWAPPAFUWAPPA. Then, when a couple more natives undertook the same trek across the restaurant and the awful commotion from their flip flops nearly drowned out poor Merle Haggard who was doing his best to explain the finer points of being an Okie from Muskogee, I knew I had found the Fuwappah Tribe.
I soon found that every one of these ladies at Shooters, regardless of their age group or rung on the social ladder, wore the tribal footwear, and they were very accomplished at making the shoe slap up against their feet numerous times in a single step. And they are a frightfully restless lot, except when you are waiting on one of them to bring your check at the conclusion of the meal. But finally the waitress reappeared, this time with a pphhhttt-wappa pphhhttt-wappa. I think she stepped in some water. Lovely people though, and I expect that they fend off all would-be aggressors simply by walking toward them.
* Crowding Large Trucks Is Risky Business: A few days ago, I was driving through Hope, Arkansas, carrying what I'm sure is the most dangerous load thus far in my nearly 8 years on the road. It was a Hazardous Material (Hazmat) load, in 100 percent liquid form, poured into 29 separate containers in the trailer. I've heard tanker drivers describe the way their tanks tend to move about on their own, but really didn't understand until now. All that liquid sloshing to and fro gives the trailer a mind of its own, so that the driver's input via the steering wheel, brakes, and throttle becomes more of a suggestion than a command. I tried to stop the vehicle, but the liquid literally pushed the vehicle forward beyond the stopping point, and even after it stopped, the tractor and trailer continued swaying with the moving liquid. The load required a delicate touch and plenty of space to maneuver safely.
Curse the naiveté that so earnestly hoped other drivers would put a little more distance between their vehicles and mine. They either followed so close that I couldn't see them through my side mirrors (I could only see the shadow their vehicles cast on the highway), or they drove along side of me, neither passing nor allowing me to pass, blithely oblivious to their fate should a tire blow out, …which it did. I was trying dutifully to keep that sloshing behemoth between the ditches when a mighty and ominous BOOOOM sounded like Judgement Day itself, jarring everyone out of their complacence. Gripping the steering wheel hard and holding in the clutch, I held her straight and true while praying that it wasn't a steer tire that had blown, for if that were the case I would likely lurch over one of the guard rails and make a Hazmat mess of everything and everyone in my path. But I glanced in the side mirror, and saw chunks of black rubber flying off the rear wheels and felt happy as a deacon with a full collection plate, secure in the knowledge that all I had to do was nurse that sloshing beast to the shoulder and wait for road repair to come out and replace the tire. The people tailgating me had a time of it and likely needed a wardrobe replacement, but no one was hurt and perhaps they won't tailgate again for at least another week. But again, there are so many things that can go wrong without notice, that it doesn't make any sense to linger around an 18 wheeler on the highway.
* The State Needs Revenue: Here's something that seems to be happening more often. One state trooper on an overpass records the speed of traffic on the highway while half a dozen or more state troopers wait along side the road to chase down offenders. So next time you see someone pulled over, remember that there may be several other troopers in the immediate vicinity waiting for the next customer.
* The Magnetism of Dashboards: Have you noticed that during the summer months, dashboards magnetically attract human feet? I've travelled all four corners of the lower 48 states this summer, and noticed that if there is a passenger in a car or SUV, their feet will be up on the dashboard. I used to think it was a seasonal phenomenon, but I've noticed that it only happens with bare feet. Shoes apparently defeat the magnetic pull. But take the shoes off and the feet end up stuck to the dashboard. You don't see this in the winter because it's too cold to go around bare footed.
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Comments :
May '10
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Dave, should we read anything political into the fact that you were driving Hazmat through Hope, Arkansas?
Nov '10
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Regarding the magnetism of dashboards: some people are more prone than others. I was oblivious to this phenomenon until the third of my five children became a teenager a few years ago. I have had footprints on my windshield ever since.
Jun '10
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Not a good idea if you have airbags. Otherwise, don't sweat the small stuff.
May '10
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
The barefoot people kill me. What do they think will happen to their feet if that car is in an accident? They are going to either eat their knees with their feet on the dashboard, or cut up the bottom of their feet on the windshield. Don't even get me started with the bare feet hanging out the window.
Sep '10
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
I can sort of sympathize with your liquid load experience; it must be like piloting a 37k-ton fleet oiler through a narrow channel. Rudder orders are like vague hints, and the single screw takes an eternity to bite when you're trying desparately to speed up or slow down. Thanks for the reminder about giving you guys in the big rigs plenty of elbow room.
Jun '10
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Dave, this is not a question about your driving, which I know from what you write is excellent by even the best standards, but an inquiry into the physics of driving. You write "Gripping the steering wheel hard and holding in the clutch, I held her straight and true while praying that it wasn't a steer tire that had blown…" As soon as the clutch goes in you are, to the extent possible with a blown tire, "free wheeling." So here's my question, would you, with clutch up, be in a better position to keep the truck in a straight line, given that your wheels while powering tend to want to travel in a straight line based on the laws of inertia? I also understand from your comments that it is difficult to tell if you had blown a steering tire, so that likely played the biggest role in your decision. In this instance a car and a truck would handle in radically different ways, so what works for a car would not work for a massive 18 wheeler and vice versa. Dave, I'm not second guessing here, I'm just curious.
Edited on Aug 15, 2011 at 10:43amApr '11
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Not to nit-pick, but most accidents don't happen instantaneously, and it takes most people less than a second to get your feet off the dash. Of course, if they fall asleep, they could be in for it. But hey, life is a series of assumable risks. No risk = no fun = no life.
Jun '10
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Diego Sun Devil
Not to nit-pick, but most accidents don't happen instantaneously, and it takes most people less than a second to get your feet off the dash. Of course, if they fall asleep, they could be in for it. But hey, life is a series of assumable risks. No risk = no fun = no life. · Aug 15 at 11:43am
It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye?
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
I've always wondered what it was like to be responsible for a liquid hazmat load. To get home to see my parents I have to drive the steep, tortuous, narrow CA Hwy 17 over the Santa Cruz mountains, and the most stress inducing thing is passing an enormous truck carrying hazardous or flammable materials. There aren't any shoulders, and the only thing keeping the car or truck in the right lane from going over a thousand foot cliff is caution and a measly two foot metal fence.
Feb '11
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
The Magnetism of Dashboards:
This is primarily a female phenomenon. First, women are more often passengers (even women usually can't do it in the driver seat). Second, women seem to have a thing for going barefoot. The ground is hot or cold, dirty and covered with goose droppings and pointy rocks. Why women do this baffles me. Perhaps someone here can explain.
state trooper on an overpass
I-80 in Illinois used to be notorious for this. I don't know it it still is. I avoid it like a plague. On any rural area interstate I scan far ahead for stopped vehicles on overpasses.
they drove along side of me, neither passing nor allowing me to pass
This is infuriating no matter what you drive. Typically, you are on cruise control overtaking another vehicle. Some idiot, usually in a wretched little foreign car, comes flying up on your left, then slows down to your speed and sits there while the hamsters recover from the high speed dash. After they've forced you to kick off the cruise control, they dart away at high speed (presumably, the hamsters are now rested).
Regardless, I really do enjoy driving.
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Not so much, Matthew,... though now that you mentioned it, if something had gone awry it would have been at least one instance of a problem staying in Hope rather than inflicting itself nation-wide.
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Cas Balicki: ... As soon as the clutch goes in you are, to the extent possible with a blown tire, "free wheeling." So here's my question, would you, with clutch up, be in a better position to keep the truck in a straight line, given that your wheels while powering tend to want to travel in a straight line based on the laws of inertia? · Aug 15 at 10:40am
Edited on Aug 15 at 10:43 am
Excellent question, Cas, and one that I've wrestled with since the incident happened. If I had known for sure that it was a steer tire that blew, I would have actually left the clutch out and pushed the throttle to the floor to take some weight off of the steer tire, which would have made it easier to keep the vehicle from lurching. Then, I would very slowly ease off the power and brought it to a steady stop on the shoulder.
On the other hand, if I knew immediately that it was a rear tire, I would normally move to the side quickly and try to bring the thing to stop as quickly and safely as possible (Cont)
Edited on Aug 15, 2011 at 2:08pmRe: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
(Cont) ...so as to reduce the amount of tire chunks and debris flying into the traffic behind me.
In this instance, however, there were factors arguing against either approach. First was the presence of liquid Hazmat that was moving the trailer around. Throttle down in a steer tire blowout, and the sloshing liquid will make the vehicle less, not more, controllable. Decelerate quickly and the trailer will push you beyond your stopping point. Move to a pot-hole marked shoulder rapidly, and the liquid may slosh you into the ditch.
You're right though, free wheeling would normally not be the ideal option, but had I not pushed in the clutch, I would have had to down shift through 10 gears in addition to maintaining steering control. I second myself even now, but in the moment it seemed that free wheeling simplified the tasks required to bring all 78,000 pounds to a stop. I'll keep rethinking my actions in the hope that next time I may have a better response.
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Depending on how long that tortuous mountain pass is, it may not be a bad idea to stay well behind the truck until the road opens up. You might lose a few minutes, but that might be quite the bargain if you feel things could go bad in an attempt to pass the truck. I know this is counter to everything you see in California traffic, but sometimes it's best to stay out of the pack and away from people who drive like they're running late for their next collision.
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Snow Bird: ... they drove along side of me, neither passing nor allowing me to pass
This is infuriating no matter what you drive. Typically, you are on cruise control overtaking another vehicle. Some idiot, usually in a wretched little foreign car, comes flying up on your left, then slows down to your speed and sits there while the hamsters recover from the high speed dash. After they've forced you to kick off the cruise control, they dart away at high speed (presumably, the hamsters are now rested).
Regardless, I really do enjoy driving. · Aug 15 at 1:57pm
The only thing I would add here is that most trucks are regulated by their companies. My truck, for example, is governed at 60 mph. If you're wondering why we don't speed up when passing another truck, for example, it's because we can't. And yet, for some reason, there is always someone driving slower than us. If I were governed at 45mph, someone would drive 42mph on general principle, I'm sure of it.
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Although not a driver of the big rigs like you Dave, I started out driving a No. 2 fuel oil truck (the stuff you heat homes with). If I recall correctly the loads were about 3,500 gallons.
They consider it a "Hazmat." I argue that it isn't even pollution because if I spill it on the ground, I'm just putting it back where we found it.
This was before NJ required a Commercial Drivers License. So I landed the job shortly after my 17th birthday, the day I got my driver's license.
Looking back, I'm not sure how I feel about a 17 year old with no driving experience getting behind the wheel of a truck carrying 3500 gallons of fuel. No doubt I was a mature kid and I handled it. 30 years later and I look at some of my daughter's 17 year old friends and I can't picture them doing that.
Yet there was George H. W. Bush flying a fighter plane at 19, something I also can't picture today's 19 year olds doing.
Have we Nanny'd America's kids so much they can't take reponsibility?
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Oh by the way Dave, if NY Jets' coach Rex Ryan is reading Ricochet today, the photo you posted is a Code of Conduct violation.
Edited on Aug 15, 2011 at 2:38pmRe: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Tommy De Seno: Oh by the way Dave, if NY Jets' coach Rex Ryan is reading Ricochet today, the photo you posted is a Code of Conduct violation. · Aug 15 at 2:37pm
Edited on Aug 15 at 02:38 pm
If he wants to take that up with the Fuwappahs, the Force be with him.
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Tommy De Seno:... Yet there was George H. W. Bush flying a fighter plane at 19, something I also can't picture today's 19 year olds doing.
Have we Nanny'd America's kids so much they can't take reponsibility? · Aug 15 at 2:31pm
Great point. I don't think we have 19 year-olds flying fighters today, since commissioning eligibility now requires a college degree, but it is an interesting point. The minimum age for a CDL is 21, I believe. Have we nannied them to the point that they aren't ready for responsibility? That might be a post unto itself.
Feb '11
Re: Random Thoughts: Summer Edition
Dave Carter
The only thing I would add here is that most trucks are regulated by their companies. My truck, for example, is governed at 60 mph. If you're wondering why we don't speed up when passing another truck, for example, it's because we can't. And yet, for some reason, there is always someone driving slower than us. If I were governed at 45mph, someone would drive 42mph on general principle, I'm sure of it. · Aug 15 at 2:26pm
The speed doesn't really matter. Someone will pull along side and pace you regardless. The governor limitation on trucks is well known. When that situation arises there is not much you can do except deep breathing. Now and then, a trucker trying to pass in a situation where both trucks have the same max will recognize the futility and considerately pull back behind. It is greatly appreciated when it happens.
I do a lot of cross country driving in a RV with a tow vehicle. Not exactly 18 wheeler country, but still big enough to appreciate polite drivers.