Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
I woke up this morning to discover that my cats had chewed through my phone cord (again) and that my e-mail was down. I submitted several help tickets to my host, ProNIC Solutions. According to their site, on which no phone number is listed,
We strongly believe that customers should never have to wait hours or days to get a response when they require technical assistance. ProNIC™ Solutions guarantees that your support ticket will be answered in 2 hours or less or you will entitled to a $2.00*† credit on your account.
Now, you ask me, there's an implied promise here, to wit, not only will they answer the support ticket, but will answer it with something more meaningful than the words, "I'm forwarding this ticket on to our higher level support staff for further assistance." And they should respond to repeated pleas for, at least, an update on the situation--some sense of how long it might to take to resolve it, say--with something more reassuring than oceanic, glassy silence.
A friend of mine with rather unusual empathic gifts (not kidding about those, I'll tell you about them some day) popped up on Skype and suggested I ask the White Tara for support.
Worth a try, I figure. To imagine that ProNIC Solutions is going to give me support seems at this point just as much of a metaphysical leap. Here goes:
Reverently I prostrate with my body speech and mind,
And present clouds of every type of offering, actual and mentally-transformed I declare all my negative actions accumulated since beginningless time
And rejoice in the virtues of all holy and ordinary beings.
Please remain until cyclic existence ends
And turn the wheel of Dharma for sentient beings
I dedicate all the virtues of myself and others to the great enlightenment.
And if all of the above is too ambitious, White Tara, please just make my damned e-mail go back on.
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Comments :
Feb '11
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
White Tara? Sounds racist. (Well, someone had to say it, no?)
May '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Evidently you're not listening, Claire. White Tara is telling you to find a new email provider.
Dec '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Wow! You are desperate. What about "Psychic Friends Network"? And how are we getting this from you if your email(I presumed internet) is down? Hope you are safe. You can always go back to your Dojo and kick a.. on some poor unsuspecting Turk, while waiting for return of your service.
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
I hadn't considered the possibility that I was negotiating with "White Supremacist Tara," but desperate times call for desperate measures. I'd seriously entertain selling my soul to the Devil at this point if I thought he could make my e-mail work.
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
It's just the e-mail. And my website.
Jan '11
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
White Tara is telling me to tell you that you ought to invest in some metallic electrical conduit.
BTW, it's well known in technical circles that the wheel of Dharma's network stack is poorly implemented.
Dec '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
I recommend a squirt bottle to dissuade Mr. Cat from chewing the cords.
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Oh, we have so tried that. He thinks it's hilarious.
May '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Paint Tabasco sauce on the cables and the cats will not gnaw them. Or buy some cable protectors (heavy duty plastic) at an electrical supplier/office supply outlet. This will wrap the phone lines, PC cables etc, to prevent tripping hazards, and cat crunching. A new type of pet such as a python,or boa constrictor, will teach the cats not to bite cable-like objects.
Alternatively let them gnaw through the telephone cable and get shocked by about 40V DC which will stop them trying that again. Aversion Therapy works for most things, unless you are trying to convert your cats sexuality from gay to straight.
(See http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/News/2002/Features/WTD004710.htm).
Jun '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
Oh, we have so tried that. He thinks it's hilarious. · Jun 29 at 6:57am
Having raised children, I learned that there comes a point when "tough love" is necessary. I suggest a dog, preferably a terrier, to protect the phone line and give Mr. Cat a wake-up call. You're running your apartment like a squishy liberal--let's bring in some conservative values.
Or you could put your other new house guest to work guarding the phone line.
Edited on Jun 29, 2011 at 7:09amMay '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
If White Tara doesn't answer, try Green Tara, the Dalai Lama swears by it.
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
No such thing is sold in Istanbul--I have been looking for years, and please trust me on this. Looking for years. Tabasco makes him laugh. I mean, look at him: He lives to chew that phone cord, it is his raison d'être, his mission, his life's work. The only thing that works is keeping him away from the phone cord, which I usually do, but last night we had a momentary security lapse.
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
tabula rasa
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
Oh, we have so tried that. He thinks it's hilarious. · Jun 29 at 6:57am
Having raised children, I learned that there comes a point when "tough love" is necessary. I suggest a dog, preferably a terrier, to protect the phone line and give Mr. Cat a wake-up call. You're running your apartment like a squishy liberal--let's bring in some conservative values.
Or you could put your other new house guest to work guarding the phone line. · Jun 29 at 7:04am
Edited on Jun 29 at 07:09 am
Yes, yes, just what I need, another pet.
Sep '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
I'd like to contribute something constructive but I'm at the dentist getting some lamp cord purged from a molar. Insurance co-pay arrangements leave a lot to be desired.
Edited on Jun 29, 2011 at 7:23amSep '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
tabula rasa
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
Oh, we have so tried that. He thinks it's hilarious. · Jun 29 at 6:57am
Having raised children, I learned that there comes a point when "tough love" is necessary. I suggest a dog, preferably a terrier, to protect the phone line and give Mr. Cat a wake-up call. You're running your apartment like a squishy liberal--let's bring in some conservative values.
Or you could put your other new house guest to work guarding the phone line. · Jun 29 at 7:04am
Edited on Jun 29 at 07:09 am
Yes, yes, just what I need, another pet. · Jun 29 at 7:11am
I will also entertain at Bar Mitzvahs.
Sep '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
I've never said "[edited]" before on Ricochet. Is the term CoC compliant?
Edited on Jun 29, 2011 at 7:16amRe: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Pseudodionysius
I've never said "[edited]" before on Ricochet. Is the term CoC compliant? · Jun 29 at 7:13am
Now that you mention it, no.
Sep '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
Pseudodionysius
I've never said "[edited]" before on Ricochet. Is the term CoC compliant? · Jun 29 at 7:13am
Now that you mention it, no. · Jun 29 at 7:15am
Duly noted.
Sep '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
Pseudodionysius
I've never said "[edited]" before on Ricochet. Is the term CoC compliant? · Jun 29 at 7:13am
Now that you mention it, no. · Jun 29 at 7:15am
You missed comment #14
Sep '10
Re: Pronic Solutions and the White Tara
Pseudodionysius
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
Pseudodionysius
I've never said "[edited]" before on Ricochet. Is the term CoC compliant? · Jun 29 at 7:13am
Now that you mention it, no. · Jun 29 at 7:15am
You missed comment #14 · Jun 29 at 7:21am
I took care of it.