Rob Long · April 2, 2012 at 6:34pm

Sure, it matters who wins in November.  But by my lights, we'll still be in a heap of trouble.  Consider, for instance, the culture.  It's Prom Season.  And schools are worrying about the dress code for that event.  On the one hand, it's the usual set of concerns.  From the WSJ:

Schools from Connecticut to Arizona are responding to risqué prom dresses with elaborate dress codes. Prom fashion in some stores goes way beyond plunging necklines and hiked-up hems to include low-slung backs, thigh-high slits and midriff-bearing cutouts.

To avoid having to turn away tearful girls on the big night, prom organizers are taking pre-emptive action, issuing specific guidelines early, offering dress approval in advance and relying on image-heavy PowerPoint presentations to make it crystal clear what styles will, and won't, be allowed at the dance.

Makes sense, right?  But then there's this:

Dress codes focus mainly on girls' attire, but boys aren't exempt. Most schools ban sneakers, jeans of any color and pants that sag. Others require accessories, such as hats and canes, to be left at coat check. Southmoore High's guidelines say male students must keep their shirts on all night. "We don't care that you work out," the guide states.

That's a rule, now?  You must keep your shirt on?  Shirts were coming off?  At the Prom?

So, basically, we're doomed as a culture, wouldn't you say?

Comments:



Joined
Jul '10
Jerry Carroll

Hats and canes left at the door? They never went that far even in Queen Victoria's day

Southern Pessimist
Joined
May '11
Southern Pessimist

When my oldest son went to his first prom my wife wisely suggested that he buy his date a wrist corsage rather than the traditional pinned corsage. Boy, did that turn out to be a wise decision.

Aaron Miller
Joined
May '10
Aaron Miller

Rob Long:

That's a rule, now?  You must keep your shirt on?  Shirts were coming off?  At the Prom?

Maybe they had tuxedos painted on... like the old box-within-a-box gift gag.

John Murdoch
Joined
Sep '11
John Murdoch

Simple solution:

  1. Make it well and widely known that students must be appropriately dressed.
  2. Make everybody's parents sign permission slips that agree to this.
  3. Make everybody understand that improperly-dressed students will be refused admittance and/or sent home.
  4. Publicly recommend that student only buy/rent formal wear from companies that will refund their purchase/rental price if the school authorities turn them away/send them home. 

Prom Night is a government-organized, government-funded event. Formal wear companies, limousine rental companies, flower shops, and all the rest are rent-seeking suppliers to that government-established marketplace. We have more than a century's worth of empirical evidence that commercial businesses respond to clear, unmistakable signals from government market-makers.

"You buy from [shop A], you won't have a problem. But if you buy from [shop B], you may not be able to get in. Your prom night will be ruined, and you won't get your money back."

The teachers know the kids--they know who'll come dressed to advertise. Make a point of sending one of them home. Publicly. Yes--that means damaging the self-esteem of some tramp-stamp-wearing hussy. 

Problem solved.

Ethan Safron
Bradley University
Ethan Safron

Aaron Miller

Rob Long:

That's a rule, now?  You must keep your shirt on?  Shirts were coming off?  At the Prom?

Maybe they had tuxedos painted on... like the old box-within-a-box gift gag. · 3 minutes ago

I've seen this shirt being worn before. It wasn't prom though- it's actually a clever t-shirt I think.


Joined
Sep '10
Standfast

Do any of these kids have a responsbile adult who is in charge of them?  Apparently not.  Too many households are being headed by adults emotionally stuck at about the age of 14.   I am sure we will hear about some offended mother who can't believe her darling little girl was sent home from the prom because she was dressed like Paris Hilton.

You are right.  Our culture is doomed.

tabula rasa
Joined
Jun '10
tabula rasa

Rob Long: 

That's a rule, now?  You must keep your shirt on?  Shirts were coming off?  At the Prom?

So, basically, we're doomed as a culture, wouldn't you say? · · 25 minutes ago

The culture reached "doomed" status some time back; we're just now reaping the whirlwind.

Though there are a lot of folks still fighting the good fight.  We're a little old-fashioned here in Utah; we have at least one business that markets itself as providing "modest prom and wedding dresses."

Edited on April 2, 2012 at 7:08pm
Casey
Joined
Mar '11
Casey

...male students must keep their shirts on all night.

I'd be interested in hearing from the fathers on this one:  How many of you are worried about the shirts?

DocJay
Joined
Jul '11
DocJay

My 17 yr old went to his Jr prom Saturday with a sophomore.  In his words he scored.  This meant he kissed her for a while and nothing else.   My comments to the girls father ahead of time (with the boy there) is that my son would behave like a gentlemen and that if he did not I gave the other dad permission to distribute appropriate punishment.

KC Mulville
Joined
Jan '11
KC Mulville

Ritual. A ritual is simply a pre-planned way for people to experience something together. The point is to share experiences. Different rituals offer different experiences. A healthy culture offers a variety of experiences to explore the depth and breadth of what it means to be human.

But when every ritual is reduced to the same experience, i.e., boys and girls seeking casual sex, then the variety is gone, the depth and breadth of human experience is gone, and the culture is pointless. 

Casey
Joined
Mar '11
Casey

KC Mulville: Ritual. A ritual is simply a pre-planned way for people to experience something together. The point is to share experiences. Different rituals offer different experiences. A healthy culture offers a variety of experiences to explore the depth and breadth of what it means to be human.

But when every ritual is reduced to the same experience, i.e., boys and girls seeking casual sex, then the variety is gone, the depth and breadth of human experience is gone, and the culture is pointless.  · 0 minutes ago

This is a fascinating comment.

Duane Oyen
Joined
May '10
Duane Oyen

I blame it on Hollywood and the glorification of the debauched lifestyle in Venice, California.

The King Prawn
Joined
Dec '10
The King Prawn

My high school didn't have prom; we had CATOICO (cattle, oil, and cotton ball). I skipped it. I also got kicked out of the homecoming game my junior year when some friends and I started encouraging the team with the George Carlin All Purpose Cheer (very, very CoC non-compliant.) I hope my girls are antisocial enough to skip the prom, but I'll probably do penance for my own behavior by having to pay for them to attend the banal ritual.

Geometricus
Joined
Nov '10
Geometricus

One could see this as a sign of hope.  At least they have noticed a problem and are doing something to try to ameliorate it, even if it looks to some like closing the barn doors after the horses got out.

Five years ago guidelines like these were much rarer in public high schools, only in the tony private Catholic or religious schools (like my employer) would you see such specific guidelines be introduced, much less adhered to.   Unfortunately, we found that you have to have several ADULT adults who are willing to send crying girls home in order to make it work.  Such people are harder to come by than some might imagine.

In addition, you also have to enforce such a policy at EVERY semi-formal dance, not just prom.  That way prom is a snap, the kids already know the drill if they attended dances in freshman and sophomore years.

Edited on April 2, 2012 at 8:18pm
paulebe
Joined
Dec '10
paulebe

It is worse than you know, Rob but comment #6 from Standfast nailed the source. We have no one else to blame but parents, specifically fathers. An involved, loving, conscious (meaning, actually awake) father wouldn't let his daughter consider or purchase, much less, leave the house in a dress that was inappropriate or would be designed to cause lust on the part of a teenage boy who couldn't possibly be ready to provide for his daughter should things get out of hand. It is up to fathers to provide sufficient instruction and training to their sons in the area of proper attire, demeanor, and behavior when in the presence of girls. Failure to adhere to either of these standards must then be met with appropriate discipline that is absolute. Somehow, we've been convinced we're supposed to be our kids buddies instead of parents. Our culture has failed multiple generations, we are truly now reaping the whirlwind.

Nathaniel Wright
Joined
Aug '10
Nathaniel Wright

They could make the dress code as simple as two sentences.

1) Prom is a "formal event."  As such, prom attendees are permitted to wear any attire similar to that worn by the prom attendees in Disney's "Prom" or the prom scene in "Pretty in Pink."

Maggie Somavilla
Joined
Sep '11
Maggie Somavilla

Not doomed, Rob . Dead.

John Russell
Joined
Aug '11
John Russell

I'm so out of it I shouldn't comment. When I went to a high school prom in Tucson (egad! I can hear my father now: Back when I was a boy ...) our prom was in a gussied-up gym. For my daughter's proms in New Orleans the venues were the Hyatt, the Fairmont, the Crown Plaza, etc.

In my day it was nice, it was kind of sparkly, and we all tried to behave like proper Edwardians except for the slow dances which were like verticle coupling. Most of the boys spent much of the night offering their backs as desks so their dates could writ in the little prom booklets.

The day of my high school graduation Robert Kennedy was shot in the wee hours of that morning. Then came the Chicago riots, the end of the Prague Spring, the Symbionese Liberation Army. Looking back on it now it seems a little like Barbara Tuchman's description of the funeral of that Edward we were emulating, where all the participants of the Great War gathered for a last promenade before the whole thing fell apart. They probably had little booklets there too.

Aaron Miller
Joined
May '10
Aaron Miller

If I was a principal, I would point out that Prom is a privilege and not a right. I would then call upon students to exercise good judgment on their attire, without resorting to legalistic lists.

As Claire would say, pretend the year is 1950.

Save a child. Fire a lawyer.

DocJay
Joined
Jul '11
DocJay
prom

The shirt stayed on.


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