Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Denise Moss ·
Nov 15, 2010 at 8:32am
Outstripp's posting of this animation on Quantitative Easing got me thinking (and laughing) about my favorite part of the English languish: Euphemisms. And no one does them better than government agencies. Just think about the thought that went into this..."quantitative easing" just means "printing more money." And "earmarks." So much nicer to say than "pet projects that cost a lot, don't do much but mean I will get re-elected." What are some of our Rico's favorites?
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Sep '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
"Revenue neutral" and "tax expenditure" and "targeted tax cut"
Aug '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
All from the WH:
excellent transit cooperation-
old cycles of boom and bust that led to that crisis-
commercial deliverables-
commitment to government transparency-
Aug '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
The "Fairness Doctrine" along with the "Fairness in Broadcasting Act" were a couple of wildly misleading Congressional euphemisms.
May '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Investment Paying school administrators $250K/year is an investment in our children. Bailing out Fannie and Freddie was an investment.
Jun '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act = govspeak for death panels and national bankruptcy
Jul '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Earned Income Tax Credit.
I want my Unearned Income Tax Credits!
"War on" anything
Troubled Asset Relief Program.
Edited on Nov 15, 2010 at 9:11amRe: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
These are not gov't euphamisms, but they are in the spirit of this post.
As a former teacher who dreaded parent-teacher conferences, I found this article by Linda Starr very funny. Here are some of her tried-and-true euphemisms for parents:
Jun '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Spending cut.
Oct '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Affirmative Action meaning...racism. AKA "white males need not apply." In higher education also can mean "Asians and Jews heavily discriminated against."
Stimulus was a good one too.
Multiculturalism meaning we are going to disparage everything European or Christian as evil and build up everything else as the height of civilization and sophistication.
Diversity meaning similar things to affirmative action.
Freedom of Religion meaning you'd better not try to practice Christianity in public.
Sep '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Overseas contingency operations.
Edited on Nov 15, 2010 at 9:43amAug '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Planned Parenthood
Sep '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Pro "choice".
Nope, sorry, you're pro abortion.
Jun '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Government: The fiction that allows some to think they can get something for nothing.
Diplomacy: "Telling the other guy to go to Hell in a way that ensures he enjoys the trip" -- L.B. Pearson.
United Nations 'nuff said.
People's Democratic: Any country that has democratic in it's name isn't.
Resigning to spend more time with the family: Means the guy got lanced like a boil.
Astro turf: Meaning genuine outrage among the populace.
Teamster: Money for nothin' chicks for free.
I broke even: The guy lost his shirt in Vegas.
Rap music: Is not what it claims to be.
Reaching across the aisle for support: Nobody in my party likes the bill.
Bipartisan support: "A bra." -- Bill Clinton.
Edited on Nov 15, 2010 at 10:07amJul '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Ursula Hennessey: These are not gov't euphamisms, but they are in the spirit of this post.
As a former teacher who dreaded parent-teacher conferences, I found this article by Linda Starr very funny. Here are some of her tried-and-true euphemisms for parents:
Nov 15 at 9:14am
This must be written by a teacher. The reason the kid is bored and restless is because he's smart and is bored by the material and restless because his relatively immature classmates are still working on 2+2 = 4.
Sorry for the threadjack.
Oct '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Death, as in shooting a suspect to death, is referred to as "maximum incapacitation."
May '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
"Social Justice" - An elegant term for wealth redistribution.
Nov '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Out: Terrorism.
In: Man-caused disasters.
I love this one because it makes it so much easier to include the angler who drops his candy bar wrapper streamside in with the al Qaeda operative who blows up a hotel. Man-caused disaster!
Oct '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Partner, Partnership, Partnering.
If you could only have one euphemism, this is the one you'd want. Government take over, check. Subsidy, check. Totalitarian regime, check. You name it, check.
Back before I decided I wasn't cut out to be a blogger, I took a tour of Obama's draft proposal for the 2008 Democratic platform, highlighter in hand. Et voilá, The Howdy Partner Platform.
Jun '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
"Infrastructure investment": raise government salaries
"fairness": take money from workers and give it to non-workers
"make no mistake": untruth to follow
"shovel-ready project": projects that will never actually need a shovel (see "infrastructure investment," above)
alternative "shovel-ready project" definition: a project in which the only use for a shovel will be to shovel B.S. to the American public
Edited on Nov 15, 2010 at 12:00pmNov '10
Re: Post Your Favorite Government Euphemisms Now!
Since the environmental movement is closely allied with liberal politics, I will submit one of my pet peeves, a euphemism so old and so deeply entrenched that most people no longer recognize the word as a euphemism: wetlands.
I grew up in the country and I know all about "wetlands." But back in my younger days, we unenlightened rural types called them "stinking, filthy, leech-haunted, mosquito-ridden swamps." Apparently, that description was not glamorous enough for the environmentalists.