Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Claire Berlinski, Ed. ·
Dec 18, 2011 at 11:28pm
Try this one, US media: "You are the President of the United States. You have just received a phone call informing you that Kim Jong-Il is dead. What do you plan to do today?"
(Ricochet members are encouraged to give advice about the correct answer.)
Afterthought: I'll bet Christopher Hitchens is really regretting that joke about heaven as a celestial North Korea right about now. Can you imagine that scene at the pearly gates?
Morning, Václav! That will be the first elevator on your left.
Kim! See that staircase marked down?
Hitch? Kim's your boss until you say you're sorry you were such a wiseass.
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Comments :
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Hitch thinks, Hmm. I can probably hold out a couple weeks to make a point if…“Jong-Il, you perverted little [code of conduct violation]. Did you manage to bring any of your Hennessey XO or Johnnie Walker Swing with you?”
Jan '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
I heard that Christopher Hitchens had a deathbed conversion. He asked for a priest and converted him to atheism.
(Joke stolen from interwebz.)
Apr '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Well, first step is I want to know who Kim II Jun is. Second step is I want to know who from the old guard of Kim Jong Il is still in wielding power, and if there are new people running any thing. Third step ask the South Korean president what he wants to do (maybe that should be step one, but I would want to know what our guys say first before I take advice from foreign leaders). Fourth, tell my State Department to start moving on drafting new talks with the hopes that we can negotiate with the new Kim. Fifth tell the Pentagon to be ready to deploy military assets to the theater for when this goes bad...Six go to bed (after all its Sunday night here) and pray the Republicans win and take this awful job from me...just kidding about that last part, I don't think Obama prays.
Mar '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
For starters:
- Begin the day with a briefing on what we know about North Korea's current leadership and the latest intelligence from that country. Include NSC, CIA, DOS, DOD personnel. Order increased overt 7th fleet maritime patrols in international waters off the Korean coast.
- Use a press conference or other public appearance today to:
1) highlight the newly renegotiated (ratified in the US in October, November in Korea) Free Trade Agreement with South Korea and the many benefits that Americans and Koreans could receive from such a program.
2) Announce that the United States hopes that the 6 Party Talks, broken off earlier this year, can be reconvened but that the United States stands firm on its preconditions and sincerely hopes that the leadership of North Korea has had occasion to reconsider its positions.
3) Include a reminder to the world of the number of dictators that have fallen recently and where the "axis of evil" now stands.
- Order the COS and SECSTATE to convene a staff meeting with the South Korean Embassy first, and the Chinese Embassy second, to discuss concerns with regard to North Korea. They have little interest in chaos on their borders either.
Nov '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Hold all calls from State and Defense and get in a good game of golf.
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
I wonder how many of the current candidates would be able to pull off this answer unprompted (the correct one, in my view)?
Edited on Dec 19, 2011 at 12:28amDec '10
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Claire, your original post, exactly right.
May '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Remember, the operating policy of this administration is that no development is so important, is so earth shaking, is so dire, so in need of decisive action that the whole situation cannot be postponed if not totally ignored.
May '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Advice to the administration regarding N. Korea:
Tax the rich.
Feb '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Invite all the major news outlets to the White House on the pretext of having a press conference, but make them sit in on twelve hours of lectures on the physics of golf, proving that Kim Jong Il’s golf game was never as good as he said it was & claiming that, if I had ever had the chance to play a round against him, I would have totally whupped up.
Then I’d sign autographs.
Then I’d be in a strong position to negotiate with Kim Il Jun.
Feb '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Crow's Nest: For starters:
- Begin the day with a briefing on what we know about North Korea's current leadership and the latest intelligence from that country. Include NSC, CIA, DOS, DOD personnel. Order increased overt 7th fleet maritime patrols in international waters off the Korean coast.
That would be a very short briefing.
For every surface ship, I would want at least two submarines.
Expect trouble. The first thing the new guys in charge are going to want to do is commit an atrocity against us, the South Koreans, or best of all the Japanese. If they commit one against the Japanese, there will be cheering North and South of the 49th parallel.
May '10
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
I wonder how many of the current candidates would be able to pull off this answer unprompted (the correct one, in my view)? · Dec 19 at 12:27am
Edited on Dec 19 at 12:28 am
If anyone, it would be Newt and I have my doubts. Bachmann may eventually stumble her way around to it - she's demonstrated a decent grasp of foreign policy issues that she probably should have sharpened and advertised sooner. On balance, though, I've been underwhelmed and frequently aghast at the shallowness of all the presidential candidates on foreign policy matters (the president himself included, of course).
Mar '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
"Expect trouble. The first thing the new guys in charge are going to want to do is commit an atrocity against us, the South Koreans, or best of all the Japanese. If they commit one against the Japanese, there will be cheering North and South of the 49th parallel."
Happy to agree about the necessity for a submarine presence. The reason to increase overt patrols is quite separate from the tasking that we surely need a sub there to perform.
Not sure that I agree about an atrocity. One can never tell with this regime, of course, but I think we're more likely to see some sort of continuation of what we've seen over the past year. Power will be consolidated within the new rulership, so some kind of display of force should not, by any means, be ruled out. But atrocity? I think something lower on the scale of awfulness is likely to be the result.
Remember too: Kim Jong (Its Time to Get) Il is not the only member of the old regime who is aged. Where are the fault lines and grudges within the leadership?
May '10
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
How about addressing North Korean citizens directly via South Korean TV? Even if the North tightly restricts media, the message will seep in via a black market.
Do as Reagan, Pope John Paul II and others did in the depth of Soviet oppression: continue talks with the communist leader while openly and boldly trying to inspire a thirst for freedom in its people. We can negotiate with enemies (leaders) without pretending they are not our enemies.
As I've said before, I expect a young dictator to be more impulsive and hungry to assert himself (dangerous) than an older man. So perhaps we shouldn't push him too far while he is already overwhelmed with new authority, if he wasn't ruling already. But we should make it clear where we stand from the beginning. The North Korean people must believe that they have powerful allies if they are ever going to fight for a more just government.
Dec '10
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Have personal assistant verify afternoon tee time.
Mar '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
Massive air drop of wind-up radios. Promote MREs for all North Koreans willing to meet at a certain time and place to get on boats for a better place. Land refugee boats under protective cover, and start emptying the country out until the entire society collapses, and we end the prospect of nuclear North Korean for once and for all.
Mar '11
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
To add to this: give food to ALL North Koreans who show up - on condition that they then take the food with them as they leave the country. To make it safer, make the food-points all on the South Korean border, and have the boats south of the border.
The rush for the exits would be nothing short of epic. And the military may well be the first to leave.
May '10
Re: Pop Quiz for US Presidential Candidates
I have just signed legislation outlawing North Korea. We begin bombing in 5 minutes.