Parenting and Pirating
Here are two views on parenting. In the first, we learn that parenting is overrated. Parents are deluding themselves; it's really a useless, costly venture. We lie to compensate for the tragic mistake we've made. I'm exaggerating only slightly:
Are the long nights and financial burdens of parenting really worth the emotional benefits? New research is saying no: When confronted with the real economic costs of having children, most parents will exaggerate their happiness to validate their choice to have children.
"Many people believe that to be truly fulfilled in life, it is necessary to experience the joys of parenthood. Children are considered an essential source of happiness, satisfaction, and pride," Richard Eibach and Steven Mock of the University of Waterloo, wrote of their study in the March 2 issue of the journal Psychological Science. "However, the idea that parenthood involves substantial emotional rewards appears to be something of a myth."
... Since the 1920s, the economic value of having children has been dropping fast. Children can no longer work on farms or bring home paychecks, and they demand more financial support than ever before, the researchers say.
Well, certainly, for this guy, parenting is expensive, yes, but also inspiring. Perhaps this photoessay is a poor counterexample for the above because this masterpiece is probably very expensive, but the point is that parenting can have some redeeming (non-financial) benefits, don't you think?
(By the way, I don't know about you, but when I see those photos, all I can feel is pity for the poor chap -- mom? -- who's got to change the sheets.)
(h/t) allahpundit twitter feed.
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Sep '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
"Are the long nights and financial burdens of parenting really worth the emotional benefits? New research is saying no..."
Wow. Maybe breathing isn't worth doing, either. How about eating? After all, you're only going to need to eat a few hours later.
The economic value of having children? Really?
Pathetic.
Oct '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
"Are the long nights and financial burdens of parenting really worth the emotional benefits?"
Is the weekend trip to see the fall colors worth the cost of the car? Sometimes, I think, we need to ask the right questions. Who, for instance, was the spouse at the wedding? Was that the same person 5 years later? Or had that person become someone else? Was the neighborhood a different place because of the children? What impact did the children have upon their grandparents?
Whatever narrow slice we take from anything resembles nothing like its source. Having children is not an exercise in accounting even if accountants would wish it to be so.
May '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
Being a parent is more than money. It is not about happiness though. Parents on the whole, rate as less happy when their kids are young. So what? Nothing else bring the pain of kids. Nothing else brings the moments of transcendent Joy. I am never closer to God the Father than when I have the moments as a father myself.
Oct '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
I have to laugh, just last night my 7 year-old was asking about being rich and how much money it took to be considered rich. My response was that richness is not just measured by money; it's also measured by other things like family. I told her I wouldn't give her (or her sister) up for all the money in the world. Because I have something more valuable than all the money in the world, maybe I'm the richest guy in the world. I told her that I hope she's as rich as me someday.
In my family the most telling indication of the value of kids is the behavior of the older people that don't have kids. I've noticed that the older people (35 and above) in our family really want to spend time with our kids. They are the ones that want to take the kids places. They are the ones that unfailingly send the kids gifts for their birthdays. They are the ones always asking about when we'll visit again. Actions speak louder than words. I actually feel sorry for them.
May '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
R!
Re: Parenting and Pirating
Richard Eibach and Steven Mock need to have their heads examined. The joy outweighs the hassle ten-fold.
Oct '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
As a grandfather/step-grandfather of two, I repeat the oft-mentioned thought that grandparenting is easier and more fun than parenting.
OTOH, nobody is having any more fun than my stepson and his wife: http://www.maizieblue.wordpress.com. The pure, unadulterated joy that my wife and I get from each post is indescribable. We couldn't revel in that without having parented.
Jan '11
Re: Parenting and Pirating
Presumably neither Eibach nor Mock has children. They don't seem to understand that it's not an exercise in accounting. As you say, Paul, they don't recognize the joy.
Actually, I hope they don't have children. Imagine growing up to learn that your father has written an article saying, "On the whole, the kid wasn't worth all that extra work."
Nov '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
A recurring gibe that eventually surfaces when my wife and I get together with our four mistakes goes something like this: "You know, if we hadn't had you, Mom and I would be driving matching Bugattis right now." The humor in that would completely escape Eibach and Mock, because it can't be quantified.
If a researcher wants to break out of the mold, he might investigate why there is a patent bent toward studies designed to denigrate the family.
Oct '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
No amount of discussion calculated to refute the authors' analysis or suggest that it is irrelevant will change the fact that the post-modernists stopped reproducing at sustainable levels. Their theory strikes me as an effort to convince the rest of us that their lifestyles are something other than self-indulgent. Allow them to continue deluding their fellow travellers. Surely they shall become demographically marginalized in the process.
And, that my friends is the heart of the matter. Humans will continue to reproduce. What our world looks like in 30 years depends greatly on who does the reproducing. Even a Gaia worshiping/people hating "friend of the Earth" should be able to get his/her/its brain around the idea that Gaia worship will die out if there aren't any green diaper babies in the nursery.But, because they apparently haven't, let's not go out of our way to educate them.
Sep '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
Ursula Hennessey:
(By the way, I don't know about you, but when I see those photos, all I can feel is pity for the poor chap -- mom? -- who's got to change the sheets.)
Those people send the cleaning lady in to do it, then complain passive-aggressively if the sheets aren't tucked tightly enough. After that discussion, they congratulate themselves on how well they treat the help.
Jun '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
Amen, Dr. Rahe. My parents helped shaped my life and I believe I helped shape my children's life for good. Furthermore, no kids, then no grand-kids. Even if you perceive your kids as more hassle than joy, grandchildren are 100% joy.
Nov '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
Here is an uncomfortably plausible illustration of your thought:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSROlfR7WTo
May '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
That pirate ship bedroom is awesome. Hopefully, the kid doesn't decide he prefers astronauts next year.
"Johnny, did you do your homework today?"
"Arrggh!!"
Aug '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
It's always good to see that the Zero Population Growth crowd have a new tactic up their sleeve.
Being a parent is financially demanding? Who knew?!
May '10
Re: Parenting and Pirating
Whether the joy outweighs the hassle is largely irrelevant, since even if the hassle argument wins, that doesn't mean having kids isn't worth it. Reproducing and then civilizing its offspring is a duty of a society that loves itself and wishes to perpetuate itself, which ours does, and therefore raising children is a wise and moral thing to do, regardless of whether that duty is a net burden.
It's not about us (the parents) and our happiness and our finances; it's about the future.
Edited on Mar 5, 2011 at 8:01amFeb '11
Re: Parenting and Pirating
It's true that children had more 'economic' value. But what has happened since the 1920s? More government intervention in personal life, family life, and work life. It's government intervention that has lowered the economic value of children. Mostly, I believe, to protect unions.
Things I used to do to earn money when I was 10 or 11 are now illegal. Paperboy, for instance. I haven't seen a paperboy since high school. My friend was also a paperboy and we would get up before dawn to deliver our routes. On bicycles.
Or the summer of '71, when I worked on a couple of farms in Indiana during the week. Went home on weekends. BTW, that's the year I had to apply for a Social Security number. Didn't have one before. Mom & Dad made me make the call to the SS office to apply.
Just thought I'd weigh in on declining economic value of children.