Notes on Americans
Claire Berlinski, Ed. ·
Jun 10, 2011 at 2:01pm
Most of the passengers on the Crystal Serenity are American. I thought you might be curious about American life.
Here's how you talk to Americans:
1) You say basically what you're thinking, with no secret agenda. You assume the other person is likable and of good will.
2) The American says basically what he's thinking, with no secret agenda. He assumes you are likable and of good will.
It's so simple and shocking that it takes a few days of getting used to, but once you do, it seems so easy. You just say what you're thinking, he says what he's thinking, and voila! Communication!
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Comments :
Dec '10
Re: Notes on Americans
It's a legacy of not growing up in a police state, where what you say could get you jailed, tortured or killed by agents of your own government.
May '11
Re: Notes on Americans
The implication being that others are somehow different?
May '11
Re: Notes on Americans
Um, well, yeah. How do they do it in Turkey?
Jun '10
Re: Notes on Americans
I gather, from Claire's previous posts, the Turks have a tendency to tell you what you want to hear, out of some misplaced politeness maybe? Often, it leads to the kind of worthless promises that would anger the average American. It takes awhile to figure out which are the fake promises and which are the real ones. Did I get it right?
Dec '10
Re: Notes on Americans
Are you familiar with the children's story Stone Soup? French soldiers marching back from Napoleon's defeat in Russia come across a village. All the villagers deny that there is anything left in the village to eat. The soldiers say, "Oh, we don't want any of your food. We're going to make Stone Soup - do you have a round smooth stone, about 10 kilos, and a large cauldron?"
Of course, along the way, as the soldiers remark how an extra bone or cabbage might possibly improve the soup, food items somehow appear from the villager's empty larders.
In societies where someone always wants something from you in some manner or form, conversations are rarely straightforward.
Jul '10
Re: Notes on Americans
Right.
We've elected to raise the following generations in a pc state.
Feb '11
Re: Notes on Americans
In one of George MacDonald Fraser's "Flashman" novels, the eponymous protagonist (a Brit) goes undercover, enlisting as a native soldier in a regiment in India. (He is conveniently very dark and has a gift for languages.) This experience gives him the opportunity to view his British countrymen from the outside, and it's not a terribly pretty picture.
Sounds like Claire has been in Turkey long enough to achieve the same sort of outside view.
Edited on Jun 10, 2011 at 2:38pmDec '10
Re: Notes on Americans
Jimmy Carter
Right.
We've elected to raise the following generations in a pc state. · Jun 10 at 2:35pm
Which closely parallels a police state: when you misspeak in violation of PC codes of speech, you may find yourself unable to work or to show your face in public until you undergo an approved re-education and penance regimen.
Jul '10
Re: Notes on Americans
Having worked at the Department of State and the Pentagon, I must point out that there are deviant enclaves in America.
Sep '10
Re: Notes on Americans
I suspect it's more novelesque than mere talk. Couple of days chatting on an ocean liner. At night perhaps? I imagine communication. Write more!
Re: Notes on Americans
To this you can add the academy.
Jan '11
Re: Notes on Americans
So, when do we hear of your conversations with Karl Rove? Anything interesting to report on conversations with Larry Arnn? Just asking.
Jul '10
Re: Notes on Americans
Queen Claire, You find this way of communicating "shocking." I understand what Yer saying; culture and all.
Do You or did You have the same reaction online? If not, then what's the difference?
May '10
Re: Notes on Americans
This is a two-edged sword. It greases the domestic economic wheel, but it makes Americans vulnerable in international dealings.
Normal (low-trust society) rules:
1. Never reveal what you are really thinking.
2. Assume the other person is scheming.
Re: Notes on Americans
outstripp
This is a two-edged sword. It greases the domestic economic wheel, but it makes Americans vulnerable in international dealings.
Normal (low-trust society) rules:
1. Never reveal what you are really thinking.
2. Assume the other person is scheming. · Jun 10 at 8:54pm
Yep.
Nov '10
Re: Notes on Americans
That's what happens when one interacts with a free and prosperous, thus relatively cheerful, population. :-) :-)
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
1) You say basically what you're thinking, with no secret agenda. You assume the other person is likable and of good will.
Mar '11
Re: Notes on Americans
Good observation, Claire. I noted the same thing in some of my time spent in the Middle East. I cannot help drawing the conclusion that social trust is one of the hidden virtues underlying a free and open society.
In Bahrain, for example, which had long exposure to British society, the expectation (even in modern indoor malls) is that you haggle for a price. Especially at the Souds. You never pay the price the sticker says. It's presumed the dealer is trying to defraud you in some small way--it's only honorable to stick up for yourself and demand to pay less. The communication required to buy a set of earrings is an elaborate dance with varying levels of dissimulation depending on how skilled and stubborn your interlocutors are.
Jun '10
Re: Notes on Americans
Claire, you illustrate yet again the difference between high-trust and low-trust societies. The remarkable thing is how America for all its size and diversity maintains itself as a high-trust society. The norm for high-trust is to be small and homogeneous.
Re: Notes on Americans
You absolutely got it right.
May '11
Re: Notes on Americans
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
outstripp
This is a two-edged sword. It greases the domestic economic wheel, but it makes Americans vulnerable in international dealings.
Normal (low-trust society) rules:
1. Never reveal what you are really thinking.
2. Assume the other person is scheming. · Jun 10 at 8:54pm
Yep. · Jun 10 at 9:15pm
Even body language must be guarded.