My Mayoral Platform
As you may have heard on last week's Ricochet podcast from the National Review cruise, there's a campaign afoot to draft me into running for mayor of Oakland. As I said at the time, if nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve. If I receive campaign funds, I promise 100 percent embezzlement.
Despite those pledges, Troy has still asked me to present my platform for your consideration. It needs only three planks:
1. Triple the size of the police force, including a mayor who is required to pack his own heat.
2. Tuition vouchers for all schoolchildren in Oakland, and setting all public schools free to compete for them or close.
3. Cutting property and business taxes by 50 percent and requiring all paperwork for new businesses to be reduced to a one-page form. All other programs will be cut in line with tax revenues until the city's budget is stabilized and crime is reduced.
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Re: My Mayoral Platform
Where do I send my maximum legal donation?And seriously, John: think about it. All conservatives should focus on winning the cities. That's where the votes are, for one thing. That's where they need us the most, for another. And, finally, that's where recent Asian and Hispanic immigrants are living and building families and businesses.
May '10
Re: My Mayoral Platform
"If I receive campaign funds, I promise 100 percent embezzlement."
Vote now, vote often, for the first truly honest politician in history.
Jun '12
Re: My Mayoral Platform
John, I hope you run, it would be very interesting to see how the Asian voters would cast their vote. As of right now, I am completely confused by how Asians vote in this country.
Edited on November 20, 2012 at 9:15pmDec '11
Re: My Mayoral Platform
I propose an amendment to item #2 to reduce city taxes for any family that homeschools their children. Of course they would not be eligible for the vouchers, but they wouldn't need them.
Nov '12
Re: My Mayoral Platform
Absolutely SPOT ON!
I've written this in a number of posts around the interwebs that the lack of attention paid to cities by the GOP is appalling. I lived in NYC for over 10 years and, while I realize that the NY GOP is a dead vine, there was absolutely no one talking about running candidates in the cities. They were happy to sit in their upstate enclaves habitually running "conservative party" candidates but never once even tried to reach into the cities....
Aug '12
Re: My Mayoral Platform
With a tag line like this, how could Yoo not run?!
Sep '10
Re: My Mayoral Platform
And push ups; lots of push ups. An exhausted politician is a circumspect politician.
Dec '11
Re: My Mayoral Platform
John, you were wise to defer. I don't think the voters of Oakland are ready for you. The husband and daughter of the current mayor participated in the Occupy protest that shut down the Port of Oakland for a day. They claimed to be "stopping the export of capital". I think it might be the most ridiculous city in America.
Dec '11
Re: My Mayoral Platform
As a business owner in the state of CA, I'd surely like to be able to afford to live there; would be far more convenient, thus more efficient. Reduce property and business taxes and eliminate the state income tax altogether.
Oct '10
Re: My Mayoral Platform
OK, folks, now that the euphoria is over, time to think of the negative ads:
"W to U--Yoo was Bush's right hand man"
and of course, the Oakland race lobby could not pass up
"John Yoo: the go-to man for torturing hundreds of people of color"
Nov '12
Re: My Mayoral Platform
No way! The Most Ridiculous City in America trophy clearly goes to Berkeley, CA! The crusty old hippies that inhabit the city council in Berkeley pass such amazingly ingenious ordinances like banning all nuclear material (no exception for medical therapies!) from the city limits and declaring the US Army recruiting station as a persona-non-grata while revoking the parking space in front of the recruiting office so as to make it more difficult to sign-up there.
Truly FORWARD! thinking....
Aug '10
Re: My Mayoral Platform
J. D. Fitzpatrick: OK, folks, now that the euphoria is over, time to think of the negative ads:
"W to U--Yoo was Bush's right hand man"
and of course, the Oakland race lobby could not pass up
"John Yoo: the go-to man for torturing hundreds of people of color" · 1 hour ago
Oh c'mon, you KNOW what would be on the bumper stickers!
F-Yoo.
Oct '10
Re: My Mayoral Platform
Misthiocracy
J. D. Fitzpatrick: OK, folks, now that the euphoria is over, time to think of the negative ads:
"W to U--Yoo was Bush's right hand man"
and of course, the Oakland race lobby could not pass up
"John Yoo: the go-to man for torturing hundreds of people of color" · 1 hour ago
Oh c'mon, you KNOW what would be on the bumper stickers!
F-Yoo. · 1 hour ago
You made me lose some dinner there, Mis!
Dec '10
Re: My Mayoral Platform
I work in downtown Oakland but I don't live in Oakland. Thus I can't vote for you but I see firsthand how much the city needs you.
Jun '11
Re: My Mayoral Platform
Amend to "one-page form of at least 12 point Comic Sans type", which will prevent miniaturization and weed out the twee.