My Breakup Letter to NYC
Dear NYC,
There’s no easy way to break the news to you, so I’m just going to come out and say it: these last four months we’ve spent together, they’ve been great—like really awesome. The parties, the plays, the pooches—I mean, I can hardly go for a run outside without tripping over a yelping Yorkie—they’re all part of your romantic charm.
But there’s someone else. And it’s not just his size and his swagger. It’s not that he's picked up four seats in the House recently (and you lost 2—not that I’m counting). It’s not that his governor is way cooler—and did I mention better looking? OK, plain dreamy—than yours. And it’s not even that I love the prairie landscapes and horses more than the smell of exhaust and urine and the occasional apartment mouse.
It’s just that I’m beginning to realize that—well, there’s no delicate way to put this: Texas would make life so much better for me than you would.
With the money I spend on the second floor walk up that we live in—which is practically in the east river, but never mind—did you know that I could buy a small ranch in Texas? Or if I saved up enough money for a dingy $300,000 studio on the upper west side with you, I could actually buy a beautiful 2,200 square feet home in a Dallas suburb that has an excellent public school system, or this beautiful colonial in the heart of an elite San Antonio neighborhood? Guess I won’t have to worry about spending $35,000/year on my kids for private schools in New York City anymore!
What’s that? You think I’ll miss your elegant shops, nightlife and culture? Well think again. San Antonio, with its vibrant river walk, is a stone's throw away from Austin, its arts scene, its festivals, and its Whole Foods. And that 2,200 square feet Dallas home I’m going to buy one day is:
3.6 miles from a Barneys New York, Versace and plenty of other luxury shops. We’ve got our share of restaurants sporting $50 veal entrees. We’ve got $354 million worth of brand-spanking-new arts venues, a killer sculpture center and a football stadium big enough to create its own weather. Plus we’ve got the world’s third-busiest airport with nonstops to 140 cities.
And you, my dear, will always be a $200 airplane ride away.
Oh and did I mention Texas doesn’t expect a share of my income—while you knock me over the head twice, with a city tax and a state tax? Is that really fair?
So that’s why I’m breaking up with you. We can be friends for a few more months—maybe even years. We can still hang out, and I’ll still be around. But you should know that I now have my eyes set elsewhere.
With waning love, and a depleting pocket book,
Emily
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Comments:
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Oddly, I too have spent many an hour perusing the "rentals" section of Craig's List, Texas. Could it really be that cheap to rent a ranch in Texas? Do you think they really look the way they do in the photos? What's the down side of Texas? Because those ads on Craig's List look a little too good to be true.
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
It really is that cheap!
The major downside of Texas, for me, is this: my family and friends are all on the east coast, so I wonder if being in Texas might feel a bit isolated.
There's also the summer heat...but frankly, after this east coast blizzard we just had, I've been cursing the winter and the snow!
Jul '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
The problem is all these people from California and New York are moving there. One can only hope good sense and experience with the predatory state got them on the road. Otherwise we must think of them as a bacillus spreading the contagion.
May '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
I would have moved first, then written the note.
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
But presumably the people leaving NY and CA are seeking refuge in TX from those very policies you fear they'll spread, right?
Dec '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
I am not a Texas hater, but do keep in mind the words of comedian Jake Johansson: Texas is great so long as you like "hot dirt."
May '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
We left the east coast 3.5 years ago. Haven't missed it a bit! You forgot to put the tag line under your signature:
"You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas" - Davy Crockett
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Ah, yes. A couple of years ago, I made the mistake of visiting Texas for the first time in August. Hot dirt doesn't even begin to describe it.
I hear New Hampshire is pretty tax friendly too ; )
May '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Break-ups are often complicated and messy.
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
gone2tx: We left the east coast 3.5 years ago. Haven't missed it a bit! You forgot to put the tag line under your signature:
"You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas" - Davy Crockett · Dec 27 at 7:49am
Just want to make sure that everyone here has heard the Lyle Lovett song "That's Right (You're Not From Texas)," one of my all time favorites. After I heard this song, I almost understood why Julia Roberts fell for him.
You say you're not from Texas
Man as if I couldn't tell
You think you pull your boots on right
And wear your hat so well
So pardon me my laughter
'Cause I sure do understand
Even Moses got excited
When he saw the promised land
Aug '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
It's not just Texas, it's (its that annoying ads that are screaming at me from the beloved Ricochet-they need to rethink that one !!)
the smaller towns, the bigger country, and the attitudes in the flyover country.
Prices are considerably lower. Here in Missouri where I live, you can buy a victorian mansion in need of work for 100k and be 25minutes from the most convenient airport in the country, or live in the country which is only ten minutes away anyway.
I have lived in Texas and the state and it's people are a wonder. Welcoming doesn't begin to describe it. Austin is very cool, Houston is very international,and it goes on and on.
You ought to see the land around Fayetteville/Bella Vista Arkansas. Incredibly diverse country, the Ozarks .
NYC is pretty good,what compares to the waffles at the Waldorf ? Maybe the huevos revueltos at Las Manitas in Austin.
If you're fixin to visit ,don't miss Lake Travis and the brunch at Oasis.
May '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Very few people feel loyalty to their home state. Many things have destroyed this over the years. The Civil War broke the sense of state sovereignty and the tragedy of pre-WWII era organization of the Army really put a stake in it. (For example, in WWI the 32nd Division was created by combining the Michigan and Wisconsin National Guards. The men of entire towns fought and often died together.)
Now, if a person says they are loyal to Michigan, they're most likely talking about how Rich Rodriguez has stabbed them in the stomach...
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
flownover: You ought to see the land around Fayetteville/Bella Vista Arkansas. Incredibly diverse country, the Ozarks .
NYC is pretty good,what compares to the waffles at the Waldorf ? Maybe the huevos revueltos at Las Manitas in Austin.
If you're fixin to visit ,don't miss Lake Travis and the brunch at Oasis. · Dec 27 at 8:34am
I'm planning my road trip right now!
Also, your mention of waffles at the Waldorf reminds me of a recent experience I had at the legendary Algonquin hotel. One of the first things I did when I moved to NYC was go to the Algonquin to get a drink. My boyfriend and I ordered 2 Manhattans and I nearly choked when we received a $50 bill for them.
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
You really think so? But think of all the things that strengthen state pride, like sports teams!
May '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Emily, if you move to Texas, you are making a great decision. As a former Mass-hole, I became a Texas resident by way of the military 18 years ago, and haven't looked back (though it will always be Red Sox/Patriots/Celtics/Bruins for me...).
But do take note, Texas does need to get it's revenue from somewhere. So the property taxes on that 2200sq/ft house will behigher than elsewhere in the country (though maybe not NY), and Sales Taxes can be higher than average too.
But most everything else is better than in NY...and the people are friendly!
Aug '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Emily Esfahani Smith, Ed.
It really is that cheap!
The major downside of Texas, for me, is this: my family and friends are all on the east coast, so I wonder if being in Texas might feel a bit isolated.
There's also the summer heat...but frankly, after this east coast blizzard we just had, I've been cursing the winter and the snow! · Dec 27 at 7:04am
I lived for 12 years in Texas-Adjacent Austin and I absolutely loved the land, people, food, music, football, museums and books.
I highly recommend Austin. From there you just drive west until you see some cows, then let the Hill Country ease your mind.
No blue ocean, 90-105 F between St. Patrick's Day and Halloween.
Edited on December 27, 2010 at 6:18pmMay '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
This is pretty off topic, so I'll understand if the editors nuke it, but this reminds me of an analysis by Thomas Sowell from about 10 -15 years ago. From memory:
Let's say you could take the entire world population and assign its people in groups of four to an average-size, single-story American house (in other words, 4 people to each of 1.5 billion houses). Each house would have a typical front and back yard.
Sowell's challenge: if you cluster all these homes together (no mention of roads) into one contiguous mass, how big of an area would this cover?
The answer: Texas
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Charles Allen:
But do take note, Texas does need to get it's revenue from somewhere. So the property taxes on that 2200sq/ft house will behigher than elsewhere in the country (though maybe not NY), and Sales Taxes can be higher than average too.
Yes, good point. I hear property taxes are steep in TX, but not higher, I imagine, than my native New Jersey. I read that the average NJ/NYer will spend around 11-12% of his income on taxes, while the average Texan will spend 8%:
And Louie -- I'm dying to see the Texas Hill Country....and the state's coast.
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Ottoman Umpire: This is pretty off topic, so I'll understand if the editors nuke it, but this reminds me of an analysis by Thomas Sowell from about 10 -15 years ago. From memory:
Let's say you could take the entire world population and assign its people in groups of four to an average-size, single-story American house (in other words, 4 people to each of 1.5 billion houses). Each house would have a typical front and back yard.
Sowell's challenge: if you cluster all these homes together (no mention of roads) into one contiguous mass, how big of an area would this cover?
The answer: Texas · Dec 27 at 9:16am
I love this, very charming!
Aug '10
Re: My Breakup Letter to NYC
Emily Esfahani Smith, Ed.
I'm planning my road trip right now!
Some tips:
For Texas Swing Music: Gruene Hall and The Broken Spoke.
BBQ: Texas Monthly has this down to a science.
Lake Travis Oasis alternative- The Iguana Grill: the Oasis is great but it has the tourist vibe.
Bluebonnets: Lady Bird Johnson Center is a good start.
Hope you have a wonderful visit!