Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
Nine full paragraphs into the Guardian's article about snow removal in Moscow, we learn this:
... According to police, the 54-year-old chef at the unnamed restaurant, well-known for its chebureki, or big meat-filled pastries, killed his 82-year-old father-in-law during a drunken brawl. Police refused to confirm or deny a report by tabloid Life News that the chef then ran his father-in-law's body through a meat grinder in order to fill his chebureki – and serve them to customers for three days before being caught and sent to a psychiatric institution.
It gets better:
These tales would fill most readers with horror, but in Russia they are so commonplace as to barely inspire a raised eyebrow.
We return now to the Moscow weather report. Snow, apparently.
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Jul '10
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
The chef may have been dealing with a shortage of chicken. Julia Childs always stressed the need to improvise.
May '10
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
Oh great. And I have to get a haircut today. Hard to keep an eye on that straight-razor when your in a barber chair with a cloth over you. Vulnerable.
Hmm, maybe I'll let it grow out and dress as Snape this year.
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
For some reason, this makes me think of Chicago.
Jun '10
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
I'm not sure how safe any of us are. When somebody loses a finger at the meatpacking plant, they may not always throw out a whole vat of sausage over it. Especially if it happened a hundred years ago in Chicago. Lots of fingers, lots of sausage. That could be what made you think of Chicago.
May '11
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
So chebureki is really Soylent Green?
Oct '11
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
In America you have Family over for big dinner. In Mother Russia we just have family for big dinner! HAHAHAHA
Apr '11
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
Well at least he wasn't a barber seeking to avenge himself upon a local judge...
Dec '10
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
I always heard we tasted like pork (long pork in the South Pacific). Beware the city chicken.
Edited on October 18, 2011 at 6:28pmJun '10
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
Hey! it could have been a lot worse, the Chebureki, filled with mercury contaminated fish.
Feb '11
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
The Communist Manifesto: it's a cookbook.
We've never seen a nuclear-armed society disintegrate. It may not be pretty or safe. Russia's fertility rate is the lowest of Europe, which says something, and it's population is tanking. Add to that widespread serious social pathology like alcoholism and you have a country without a future.
What happens to the nukes? Does the last Russian get all of them?
Oct '10
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
Foxman
I always heard we tasted like pork (long pork in the South Pacific). Beware the city chicken. · Oct 18 at 8:34am
Edited on Oct 18 at 09:28 am
As it plays out, cannibals find white people a little too salty. No going to count on that though.
Cannot resist the Sweeny Todd reference, what songs or tune did the guy hum ?
Dec '10
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
In the early 80s, I lived on a soviet fishing trawler and got used to tea, borscht, and dried fish for most meals. On my first Sunday morning, I awoke to a lovely smell from home, doughnuts! With visions of Krispy Kreme dancing in my head I wandered down to the mess and dutifully ate my dried fish and drank my tea, then reached for just one, delightful orb, some kind of cream-filled treasure. I bit in and closed my eyes, and it is well that I did; otherwise my eyes would have popped! LIVER!! They filled the doughnut with ground liver! Stalin only knows who's liver.
Feb '11
Re: Moscow Restaurant Reviews from the Buried Lede Dining Guide
It's a grind to live (and die) in Russia.