More Forbidden Thoughts
As long as we're all being honest about our Badthink, I'm wondering--am I the only one who is generally in such a foul mood after waking up early to catch a flight, sitting for hours in traffic, trudging through all those interminable check-in and security lines, taking out the computer, putting it back in, taking it out again, putting it back in again, taking off my shoes, putting them back on again, throwing out my brand new bottle of expensive hand lotion, wading through those evil-tempered, slow-moving crowds and hearing the fifteenth announcement that my flight has been delayed that I often kind of hope there will be a terrorist on board, sometimes even fantasize about this scene in great pleasurable detail, because nothing would feel better at that point than swiftly leaping over the aisle and strangling someone?
Has anyone else actually carried through this fantasy to the point of imagining the press conference afterwards in which you humbly explain to an admiring public that no, you're no a hero, you didn't even think twice about it, it was just instinct, really, and you're just glad no one was hurt but the terrorist, and you'd have to confirm this with the authorities, Brian, but you'd guess there's still enough left of him that the FBI might be able to get a sample of his DNA if they use one of those special forensic spatulas?
Or am I just a very bad person?
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Sep '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
That's why I always wear a string tie when I travel-- it makes a handy garrote.
May '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Usually, I envision these things when I have a 20 minute drive and 15 minutes to get there. So, in what language would you say "Go ahead...make my day" before you off the bad guy?
Oct '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
That reminds me of the great airplane hijacking scene in the second Dirty Harry movie, Magnum Force. Would that all terrorists be disposed of so efficiently.
Aug '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
Has anyone else actually carried through this fantasy to the point of imagining the press conference afterwards in which you humbly explain to an admiring public that no, you're no a hero, you didn't even think twice about it, it was just instinct, really, and you're just glad no one was hurt but the terrorist...
No, but I do have nightmarish fantasies about getting arrested for being a terrorist because I forgot to remove the metronome from my carry-on, and it goes off, and no one besides me recognizes the mysterious ticking noise for what it is -- something to practice music by -- so they all think it's a time bomb, and...
Claire, I think your sort of fantasy is really very much healthier than my sort.
Edited on October 23, 2010 at 6:22amJun '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Ha! I have those hero fantasies all the time when I'm on a plane. And it's the real deal when I say that I keep an eye out for strange behavior whenever I travel. Guess that's the Juan Williams in me. So no, you're not a bad person. Besides, it's not easy to forget Flight 93. They just didn't get the press conference.
Of course, I did have the victim fantasy when living in Russia. Two American acquaintances of mine got herded out of the country as "spies." I frequently pictured the FSB banging my door down to kick me out, too. Perhaps they didn't because they had already figured out I'd be a lousy spy. I'm really bad at lying.
Jul '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Every. Time. I. Fly.
For reasons I really don't understand, I also tend to attract full body-searches, "randomly," they claim, and I've always fantasized about saying things like, "Sure you can reach in there, but I'm half-Jewish--we've been killing Muslim terrorists a lot longer than the rest of you so I don't really understand why this is happening." But I've always sorta figured that would just lead to even less-pleasant searches...
Oct '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Flying has become a truly dreadful experience within the past decade. I avoid it as much as possible.
May '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
I don't fly often enough to have this sort of fantasy, thank god. I do hate the TSA screening process. Why can't we just have a special fast pass lane for people who clear some sort of gov't screening and are willing to pony up?
Jun '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
On my last flight we blew through some rough turbulence, but that's not what ticked me off. What ticked me off was that they close down the bar service when you needed a drink most. I gotta tell you, Claire, If I'm about to hit an air pocket or wind shear in rough air I want to be good and liquored up for the festivities. What’s the point of flying through turbulence if you have to do it sober, Hell! Don’t they pay the pilot to stay sober so I don’t have to. And as for terrorists, I think the world would be a whole lot better off if these guys would just sit back and sip on a fine scotch every now and then. Never underestimate the power of mind altering substances.
May '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Call me a cynic, but I always figured I wouldn't want to survive any heroic scenario. If the hero dies, liberals nod silenty or perhaps offer a polite golf clap as everyone applauds his or her actions. If the hero lives, liberals say the violence was unnecessary and press criminal charges.
Jul '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
I was on travel on 9/11 and, as that assignment played out, I took several more plane trips over the next six months under the very fluid boarding and baggage rules of the time. Since then I have been very happy only taking assignments without a travel requirement, and flying for personal business is not even considered.
Nothing to do with the terrorists, everything to do with suffering the TSA.
Oct '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Actually, my thought is a ball point pen through the eye or down through the top of the head. Strangling people is hard and not like in the movies. Weapons that are easy are those things you can carry on, and the best is the ball point pen. A old fashion BIC Pen will do the trick. I fly somewhere between 200,000 to 400,000 miles a year around the world, depending on how busy my business is. I think about it a lot.
Edited on October 23, 2010 at 7:34amOct '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Further to my last post, ninety percent of my co-workers were killed at the World Trade Center in New York, so while I am traveling on planes thinking about it is a constant.
Jul '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Better to be judged by libs than carried by six.
Aug '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
My God.
I am so sorry.
There is nothing adequate I can say.
May they rest in peace.
Oct '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
There have been several pilot programs for a "fast lane" concept. I've lost track of where that stands today. Having to fly most weeks that would make my life oh so much better.
The newest gizmo utilizing a full body scan is simply the most undignified of all. TSA fails in its fundamental mission by never applying a discriminating thought. Not every traveler represents an essential risk. It is terribly sad to see our government treat the elderly with such disrespect.
Edited on October 23, 2010 at 1:15pmOct '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
I think you just figured out the real reason for the TSA security theater, Claire. It's not really an inefficient and politically correct security screening process, but a carefully designed and highly effective experiment in crowd sourcing security. The idea is to get us into such a low level simmering rage that if anyone were to try something on a flight, that we'd rise up and annihilate them in a fit of cathartic violence.
So now that she has exposed the secret (I thought you said you hadn't read all of the wikileaks documents, Claire?), we'll have to come up with something else.
We would have gotten away with it Claire, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dog.
Aug '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
kcarlin: I was on travel on 9/11 and, as that assignment played out, I took several more plane trips over the next six months under the very fluid boarding and baggage rules of the time. Since then I have been very happy only taking assignments without a travel requirement, and flying for personal business is not even considered.
Nothing to do with the terrorists, everything to do with suffering the TSA.
I'm with you.
The reason we fly so little these days is because of the TSA, not terrorists.
Not only do I have every confidence that the TSA is out to make us miserable, but I have absolutely no confidence in their ability to distinguish totally innocuous oddities from real threats.
In my mind's eye, the TSA excels at detaining perfectly innocent individuals who act or carry equipment that's the least bit unusual, not at identifying terrorists.
I while away the trip to the airport thinking of explanations for why various items in my luggage are not terrorist supplies. Not that I expect my explanations to matter much.
Aug '10
Re: More Forbidden Thoughts
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
Or am I just a very bad person? ·
If you are, there are a bunch of us bad people out there.
I now fly on the "8-Hour Rule." If I can drive to the destination in 8 hours or less, I won't fly. Thanks to the TSA, flying has become almost intolerable.
And these same people want to run our health care system.