Mom v. Teenager
Why is it that all the folks who are not outraged by the daily failures of our big-city public schools are likely to be all exorcised by the steps this mom is taking to get her teenage son to learn? Maybe the ones who reported this woman to the state's Department of Children and families are right, that it won't work, and maybe the lad's self-esteem will indeed suffer, as the experts say. If it does work, however, I can see this young man one day recalling this with a smile -- and gratitude for a parent who didn't give up.
A Tampa mother is defending her decision to stick her teenage son on a street corner with a sign that says, among other things, "GPA 1.22 ... honk if I need education."
Ronda Holder says she and the boy's father have tried everything to get their 15-year-old to shape up academically. They've offered help, asked to see homework, grounded, lectured him and confiscated his cell phone. James Mond III's indifference at a school meeting last week was the final straw. The next day, Holder made the sign and made her son wear it for nearly four hours.
- Comment (17)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (2)
Comments :
Jun '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
The link doesn't work, but I've seen similar stories in the past. I'm always surprised that the parents don't have luck getting the kid to sit at a desk & do homework, yet the kid obeys them & stands on a corner holding a sign. I would think it is easier to get a kid to sit than to publicly humiliate himself.
The only really public "crazy mom" thinkg I've ever done was my anger-fueled reaction to my (then) 11 year old daughter dragging her feet & not getting out of bed in a timely manner. She had made her younger brother late for school a few times as I nagged and nagged and nagged. (It was a Catholic school to which I drove.) On this particular morning I just put son in the car & drove away. She came out to the driveway sobbing, feet bare, holding socks & shoes & bookbag. She even lunged at the door handle, but I had locked the doors. I felt no guilt driving away, but I think the neighbors questioned my sanity.
The next morning she sprung out of bed. Sometimes "crazy mom" makes an impact.
May '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
What a bloodless harridan! The State will have to step in and take charge, of course.
Jan '11
Re: Mom v. Teenager
I'll have to remember these methods. I'm trying to find a place where I can send my 6th-grader to dig ditches so he can see what kind of job he's preparing himself for.
Oct '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
This kid does not seem to be a discipline problem, but unengaged and unmotivated.
I wonder whether extended school is really for everyone? Perhaps apprenticeship programs would be better for some kids particularly when you look at overall graduation rates.
Years ago, my now retired brother persistently did poorly in school for many years. Finally my parents transferred him out of the "academic" stream to a program which include metalworking shop, drafting and other mechanical arts like engine repair. He flourished, because he discovered that he learned as much or more through his fingertips as his ears. He began to take a lot of pride in his skills, and overcame some other learning issues. He graduated from college with a BS in chemistry (another hands-on subject) and did quite well for himself in various aspect of the chemical industry such as waste disposal, transport, plastics etc.
Feb '11
Re: Mom v. Teenager
Limestone: "Finally my parents transferred him out of the "academic" stream to a program which include metalworking shop, drafting and other mechanical arts like engine repair. He flourished, because he discovered that he learned as much or more through his fingertips as his ears."
I suspect there are a lot of kids like this. Unfortunately, public K-12 schools in the US mostly seem to be eliminating things like metalworking shop...see the suppression of shop.
Peter Drucker, whom no one could accuse of lacking intellectual abilities, believed he got great value from his woodworking class in the 4th grade in Austria:
.even Miss Sophie could not make a craftsman out of me...But I took from her a lifelong appreciation of craftsmanship, an enjoyment of clean honest work, and respect for the task. My fingers have never forgotten the feel of well-planed and sanded wood, cut with rather than against the grain, which Miss Sophy--her hand on mine and guiding my fingers--made me sense.
May '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
My Congressman, Ted Poe, used this method to punish minor criminals when he was a local judge.
Nov '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
It's one of the most difficult parts of parenting, walking that line between allowing an older child to bear full consequences for his own choices and propping him up when self-discipline and motivation lags. Not to mention that full-on academics is not always the best choice for every child, as Limestone Cowboy's brother so beautifully demonstrates. I have a 23 yr old son and three teenage daughters. Each of them is completely different from the other, and only two are what I would call "academically minded." I can't bring myself to condemn the mom in the story, but I also doubt the effectiveness of her punishment.
Jun '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
Yes, doubts about the punishment's effectiveness are my problem.
I also highly value vo-tech education options. However, in my town there are kids sent to a county vo-tech school that is used as a dumping ground for discipline problems rather than a destination for kids who have shown a mechanical inclination. It would not be a place I'd send my son because it is dangerous, even though its core mission is one I support enthusiastically..
Oct '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
That's a pretty novel solution.
When I was much, much younger I went and demanded money from my father after I found out my friends got paid for good report cards. He simply asked me if I liked learning ("Yes") and if I felt good when I got good grades ("Yes"). If that was the case, there was no incentive to pay me for something I already liked to do because the moment he did I'd stop liking it. I didn't get it then, but obviously it stuck with me and I do now.
Though it seems this parent has the opposite situation. The important thing is that the drive to be engaged in her child's education is there, it's just the execution she's working on. If the school had an ROTC it might help provide more structure and guidance. No disrespect intended to the mother but it seems she has not tried everything but she's getting creative. It might help for the boy to read Gifted Hands.
Oct '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
I need someone to install my dog's Invisible Fence...
Edited on Feb 24, 2011 at 11:45amJan '11
Re: Mom v. Teenager
Do you know any plumbers? Not to suggest that plumbers aren't smart & successful. They don't like to dig ditches but it's often part of the job.
Edited on Feb 24, 2011 at 12:37pmRe: Mom v. Teenager
Here's a better link. I'm with mom. At least she's trying: http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2011/02/tampa_mom_makes_son_stand_on_s.php
Jan '11
Re: Mom v. Teenager
Casey Way
That's a pretty novel solution.
Feb 24 at 11:42am
It is a less physically demanding form of the stocks or the pillory, where a person's crime might be posted next to him/her while he/she is immobilized in a punishing device.
Oct '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
Bolivar
Casey Way
That's a pretty novel solution.
Feb 24 at 11:42am
It is a less physically demanding form of the stocks or the pillory, where a person's crime might be posted next to him/her while he/she is immobilized in a punishing device. · Feb 24 at 2:01pm
I actually see an error in my comment. Aaron was saying the judge used public humiliation for minor offenses. I had mistakenly assumed, having read his post directly after the preceding posts, that the judge sentanced ciminals with minor offenses to vocational development classes/programs. Thanks for making the point which clarified my own impression.
Jun '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
This seems no more humiliating than going all "Chinese mother" on your child and calling her garbage. Possibly even less so.
Jun '10
Re: Mom v. Teenager
This seems no more humiliating than going all "Chinese mother" on your child and calling her garbage. Possibly even less so.
I agree. It is less so. She is responding to lazy behavior and rudeness to the school staff at their meeting. Maybe not the best solution, but she's clearly worried for her child's future & trying anything to turn him around.
Chinese mother is a psycho who tortures dehydrated five year olds on a piano bench for hours. Her motivation is to produce trophy kids who validate her own brilliance. It's not character building because she has no understanding about what character entails.
Jan '11
Re: Mom v. Teenager
Casey Way
Bolivar
Casey Way
That's a pretty novel solution.
Feb 24 at 11:42am
It is a less physically demanding form of the stocks or the pillory, where a person's crime might be posted next to him/her while he/she is immobilized in a punishing device. · Feb 24 at 2:01pm
I actually see an error in my comment. Aaron was saying the judge used public humiliation for minor offenses. I had mistakenly assumed, having read his post directly after the preceding posts, that the judge sentanced ciminals with minor offenses to vocational development classes/programs. Thanks for making the point which clarified my own impression. · Feb 24 at 2:30pm
You're welcome.