Lee Rodgers, I'm told, gets credit for the quote "Never Fall In Love With A Politician. They Will Break Your Heart."
Ladies & Gentlemen: Mitt Romney and the Heartbreakers. Mitt: the L.D.S. with L.S.S. (Lead Singer Syndrome). Girls want to be with him. Guys want to be like him. But the rest of the band can't stand him. And yes, they the are even perhaps envious. What good is he? What has he really ever done? Why is he such a prima donna? He certainly doesn't write the songs. He just sings them. He's Roger Daltry. Where's Pete Townsend the song writer? John Entwistle the master techician? Or Keith Moon, the charismatic backbone of the campaign? The risk taker?
Well Keith withdrew from consideration long ago downing 32 sedatives after telling his girlfriend to "F-off" for not making him breakfast. Even if he had lived, the baggage of showing up to Canter's Deli in the SS uniform would haunt him. John Entwistle died in the Hardrock Hotel with a stripper from a cocaine induced heart attack. And the song writer? He was doing so well until that 2003 kiddie porn arrest. That leaves us with Roger Daltry to get behind. The rest have broken our hearts.
Michelle Bachman wanted to be the lead singer. It's the stuff she says between songs that breaks your heart. Johne Wayne Gacey should not be a footnote in any one's campaign: heart breaking.
Rick Perry. He's got gubernatorial chops and a string of hits with the Texas' alternative employment scene. It's trendy to lose jobs, but Texas bucks the trend and adds them. In Texas, business enjoys a Woodstock like freedom and Rick looked like our guru. How did he break hearts? Clams! Too many clams on stage! If Buddy Rich was his band leader, he'd have sat out the next 3 debates without pay.
Herman Cain? He came in like Bob Marley. He was all things to all people. Then he went out like Chris Brown. He'll always be around, but tainted. Damn! Heartbreaking!
Ron Paul: Opening Act. He pushes the boundaries, making the headliner take notice, but he'll always be a fringe act - too bad. Some of his songs are excellent. But some suck and are not worth listening too.
Then there's Newt. I admit. I fell for Newt. He was pure punk rock. The more people hated him, the more I liked him. Screw the establishment!!! He's talented. He writes songs. He's got hits. Who cares about the various duds in his back catalog? We're talking about a brand new tour that's going to set records!!! I was into Newt before it was cool.
What happened? I guess the competition got to him. When the front man sees someone else catching the spotlight, things get weird. He may have a great show now and then before the tour's over, but, but attacking Mitt from the left is like Sid Vicious reporting Johnny Rotton for trashing a hotel room. At that point, I'm out. My heart is broken.
Why'd ya do it Sid? Did Nancy put you up to this? I'm truly heart broken. In fact, I'm actually disgusted. Now I'm barely paying attention. I don't want to be hurt again.
He's like the new keyboard player. He's Dizzy from Guns & Roses. He's talented and sweet. There's nothing really wrong with him. But who's going pay to see him? Better stick to soft ticket events. He's not a rock star. Not his fault, but heartbreaking none the less. No one's denying his chops.
Huntsman? Who wants to listen to his mid-tempo turds? He's the Kenny G of this outfit. Run for your lives, it's a sax solo!!!
That leaves us with Mitt. He's acquired plenty of good material and he sells tickets. What about his faulty back catalog? There are a lot of deep cuts in there. When he crosses over to a broader audience, his deep cuts will hardly be a factor. People like a catchy chorus. His base will be left with "at least it's not disco."