Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
A Knights of Malta conspiracy? Secret crusader coins? My God, the poor man. He's simply, absolutely flipped his wig.
Seymour, man, listen to me: Get a hold of yourself. You've completely overlooked the real conspiracy--orchestrated by Illuminati-reptiles:
David Icke, another pundit of the Illuminati, believes humans have been getting messages from alien "Illuminati-reptilians" for thousands of years. The reptiles explain such things as the Gregorian calendar.
"The whole senario [sic] was planned centuries ago because the reptilians, operating from the lower fourth dimension, and indeed whatever force controls them, have a very different version of "time" than we have, hence they can see and plan down the three-dimensional "time"-line in a way that those in three-dimensional form cannot.*
Icke fancies himself "The most controversial author and speaker in the world."* For him, the origin of the Illuminati is extraterrestrial. He knows this because he is sure we have been contacted regularly with messages from beyond by the alien lizards. He explains it all in several books, especially The Biggest Secret: The Book That Will Change the World.*
Wake up, Seymour! It's the alien lizards, you fool!
(I probably shouldn't say these things--he's definitely fragile, and obviously, very seriously, now suffering from clinical paranoia--which is actually tragic, not funny. Well, okay, it's kind of funny. Actually, it's really funny. But it's also tragic, for real.)
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May '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
This is why I worry about cuts in military spending. Everybody who pays attention knows that the whole reason the Pentagon was built was to cage Yog-Sothoth.
Dec '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Dear Mr. Hirsch,
We are grateful for your statements in Qatar in the past week regarding our activities in the global domination conspiracy. Contrary to popular belief, even a shadowy sinister global hegemon wants to be responsive to its fans and we appreciate your continued interest.
With respect to your specific remarks, we wish to emphasize that the "fundamentalists" do not want to turn mosques to cathedrals inasmuch as they associate that with our Papist branch. The Papists would also like to let you know that it isn't the Knights of Malta but the Knights Templar, who have been doing yeomen's work behind the scenes for over 900 years. Everyone wants to be appreciated for their labors.
We also wish to correct the record with respect to so-called neoconservatives. Rest assured that they are not permitted to attend the meetings, although we have allowed them limited access to some of our social functions. Bill Kristol, for instance, is a dancing machine.
Once again, we wish to thank you for your interest and hope you will continue your patronage of our worldwide subversive activities.
Yours very truly,
The Illuminati, a division of Global International Conspiracy Partners, LLC
Aug '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
The last useful thing I saw from Mr Hersh was his reportage on East Timor back in the 70s. While he sided with Freitilin and the reds, the suppression was pretty tough and the post-colonial landscape pretty familiar and he brought it to life for me. Of course, I was just shaking the liberalism out of my then long hair.
I am not sure whether Hersh deteriorated quickly or the public conversation required him to go stake out the fringe of reality.
Dec '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Yes indeed, mah man has been watched The Da Vinci Code way too many times while high on who knows what.
Jul '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Space reptiles?
You know....has anyone else noticed that quick little darting thing Sarah Palin does with her tongue?
May '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Get your own, man. Whenever she does that, she's obviously looking right at me. A much better mind-control tool than grammar.
Dec '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Does Hersh own a pistol and does it have an extended-capacity clip?
Aug '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Mr. Smith, we servants of the Elder Gods know where you are and do not appreciate your sharing knowledge with the world regarding the true purpose of the Pentagon. While you are incorrect as to the entity being held at bay, Yog-Sothoth is actually currently held in a Mennonite barn near Pawtucket, it is clear that you know too much.
As soon as I finish reading the Book with Letters of Cold Fire, you shall be dealt with handily.
Jul '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Oh, I just love reptilian conspiracy theories. Am I wrong in thinking that David Icke actually mentions your father in one of his books, Claire? I can't say as I've read any of them personally (okay, I skimmed one at Barnes & Noble once after my horror over them being actually stocked--well-stocked--at Barnes & Noble abated) but I could swear I've seen that in an article somewhere. If not, he should.
Actually, he should mention you because if he thinks Mrs. Thatcher was a reptilian (and he does, as well as being a direct descendent of one of those distant lines of aristocracy that she's occasionally linked to by other lunatics), he'd absolutely believe that you were one.
May '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
It's funny, but there's a critical plot point in Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum that is based on the switch to the Gregorian Calendar. (It turns out the switch throws a wrench into the works of the world-wide Masonic/Rosicrucian/Alchemist plot to take over the world--precisely because, in this case, it was not part of the Plan.)
So, this is not the first time Pope Gregory's calendar has figured in conspiratorial calculations. Although, to be fair to Eco, this may be the first time the calendar has figured in conspiratorial calculations that were not a part of an elaborate, sophisticated, drawn-out, hilarious parody.
Or, at least I assume Foucault's Pendulum was a parody. Somebody please tell me it was a parody.
Edited on Jan 21, 2011 at 11:41amMay '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Nathaniel Wright: Mr. Smith, we servants of the Elder Gods know where you are and do not appreciate your sharing knowledge with the world regarding the true purpose of the Pentagon. While you are incorrect as to the entity being held at bay, Yog-Sothoth is actually currently held in a Mennonite barn near Pawtucket, it is clear that you know too much.
As soon as I finish reading the Book with Letters of Cold Fire, you shall be dealt with handily. · Jan 21 at 11:23am
Ia! Sarah Palin! Ia! The Red Goat of the North With a Thousand Young!
May '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
Notice he didn’t mention the Gormogons. Our security is too good. Though I probably shouldn't have mentioned that.
Dec '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
A what kind of barn?
No, sir, it is you who know too much.
We raised that barn in a day and we can tear it down just as fast.
Nov '10
Re: Man, Has Seymour Hersh Gone Nuts!
It is a parody of false secret societies and conspiracy theories.
But look beyond what is written to what isn't written! Notice the pecucliar absence of Opus Dei? What is Eco really trying to tell us?
And "alien lizards" explains so much about so many of our politicians...