"Malibu Plastic Surgeon Dies in Car Crash While Sending a Text About his Dog"
And let me stipulate, at the outset, that this is of course a terrible tragedy, and my sympathies and condolences go out to his friends, family, and survivors.
Let me further stipulate, at the outset, that I'm a bad person, because when I read this headline I chuckled darkly to myself and thought, "That's a perfect Fall-of-Rome, end-of-civilization, decline-into-decadence sentence."
It really does have it all. Plastic surgery, texting, beachfront property. Is there a better example of What's Wrong With Everything than all of those things, packed into one headline?
Again I say: what this country needs is a spanking.