Lost in Translation
Richard Fulmer ·
October 8, 2012 at 5:06pm
My wife and I purchased a package of Turkish coffee while in Istanbul recently. The preparation instructions on the package read as follows: "By measuring cup with drinking water Put the coffee pot. Each cup two teaspoons of coffe and Stir sugar. After a while intumescent foam cups please share. The remaining coffee After transport, cook Empty cups."
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Feb '12
Re: Lost in Translation
I remember walking in the heart of Russian-speaking Brooklyn and seeing a poster in the library window in Russian saying something like "Murderer for hire". I was shocked, until I saw an English original of the same poster saying "Wanted for murder".
Apparently, in two weeks since the murder happened, and the poster was created no native speaker paid attention to the contents!
Feb '12
Re: Lost in Translation
Apparently, I've been doing it wrong all these years. I would cook the empty cups before transport.
May '11
Re: Lost in Translation
After living in Japan for a decade, I found it surprisingly coherent.
Apr '11
Re: Lost in Translation
When I was stationed in Turkey, Quaaludes were sold OTC under the name "Retards." Sometimes the Turks get it exactly right.
May '10
Re: Lost in Translation
This web site is totally devoted to providing the translations of alleged Chinese characters as permanently emblazoned on the tattooed flesh of fools. More often than not, it is gibberish, with a healthy dose of utterly unintended terms and meanings.
My own favorite was the earnest instruction with my Korean-made dorm refrigerator: "Caution- not to reinsert the power supply cord within 5 minutes after release it from socket. Endure 5 minutes please!"
The classic language re-work, though, was a letter found in National Review Nov 1998, subject Making English simpler, more logical, and easier to spell. I must transcribe and post the blurry copy I still cherish.
May '10
Re: Lost in Translation
National Review Nov. 23, 1998
Dear Mr. Buckley:
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English.”
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of the “k.” This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one fewer letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replased with the “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
(continued)
May '10
Re: Lost in Translation
Governments enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the fourth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Zed drem vil finali kum tru!
Christian Frei
Lausanne, Switzerland
Dear Mr. Frei: Thanx. Wil watch our speling.
Kordialy,
WFB
Apr '11
Re: Lost in Translation
Duane Oyen:
The classic language re-work, though, was a letter found in National Review Nov 1998, subject Making English simpler, more logical, and easier to spell.
Very amusing. I've seen similar examples dating to 30's. It seems likely earlier examples exist. Wasn't Shaw on that boat in the late 1800's?
May '10
Re: Lost in Translation
Glenn the Iconoclast
Duane Oyen:
The classic language re-work, though, was a letter found in National Review Nov 1998, subject Making English simpler, more logical, and easier to spell.
Very amusing. I've seen similar examples dating to 30's. It seems likely earlier examples exist. Wasn't Shaw on that boat in the late 1800's? · 3 hours ago
I must defer to your superior knowledge- I have not reviewed Esperanto nor Shavian history.
I did, however, even as a certified Managerial Progressive, read National Review in 1998!
Jun '12
Re: Lost in Translation
Yes, take that Starbucks!
Apr '11
Re: Lost in Translation
Duane Oyen
I did, however, even as a certified Managerial Progressive, read National Review in 1998!
Good man!