Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
At first glance this must seem like a crazy idea, but hear me out. The other day, during this long, hot summer, my wife was with two of our boys (ages 3 and 6) at the pool at our health club. During the adult swim our boys, along with another boy they had befriended, were in the kiddie pool shooting each other with water pistols. They were having a great time, and no one else was getting shot (one of our rules being that if a civilian gets hit the shooter loses his gun). Then a seven or eight-year-old girl entered the scene. She came from across the kiddie pool, well away from the action.
“Excuse me,” the girl peremptorily told my wife, “those boys can’t play with guns.”
The three boys overheard the “can’t play” combined with “guns” and were put on the alert, taken aback by the authority of the command. She did not look like a lifeguard and was certainly not a mother. But the rule seemed so plausible and was conveyed with such conviction that it must be legitimate. My wife took up their cause.
“Did these boys shoot you?”
“Well, no.”
“Well, then, they’re playing with guns, and that’s what boys do.”
“But they’re not allowed to play with guns,” the girl insisted, not without an air of self-righteousness.
“As I said, these boys are playing with guns because that’s what boys do. If they do not shoot you, then it is really none of your concern.”
Rebuffed, the girl did what little girls do when they meet resistance: pranced off to tell her mother. Fortunately, the mother (who got an earful from her daughter) had sense and grace enough to come apologize for her daughter’s behavior, explaining that at the girl’s school no guns are allowed, not even on the playground. My wife accepted the apology but did not allow the stupidity and injustice of the school’s rule to pass unnoticed.
“You realize that what boys like to do is play with guns. If you take their guns away, they will make guns out of their fingers or any stick they find.” Maybe the information will come in handy if the mother ever has a son.
When my wife got home she was still incensed, not at this mother nor at the little girl (who is a product of her environment) but at the New Double Standard. What boys do—when they are acting like boys—is bad. What girls do is good.
“When do girls ever get in trouble for anything—like tattling, for instance?” my wife asked. “It’s always ‘boys can’t do this, and boys can’t do that.’ The schools are turning boys into wimps and girls into officious, persnickety narcs who think they are superior to boys in every way. And the boys who have any spirit are branded troublemakers.”
My wife’s solution? She wants to ban pink on school playgrounds or anywhere else boys are not allowed to have guns during their free play.
Do you think she is overreacting, this woman who delighted in wearing pink as a girl and just bought a whole array of little pink outfits for our first daughter? As the proud mother of three boys, she finds that she must defend their boyishness, and boyishness in general, at every turn. For example, once in church we were being asked to give to a toys-for-tots program around Christmas. The preacher cautioned us, “though we ask you not to donate any toy guns or knives or toy soldiers, please.” Really? That’s going to be some Christmas for the boys who get to watch their sisters delight in dolls while they are stuck with those stupid electronic mice that move along the floor. (As a matter of doctrine, whatever happened to the line, “I come to bring not peace, but the sword”?) Similarly, a brochure at our pediatrician’s office put out by the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment warned parents: “Avoid toy guns and shooting aimed at people.” That advice preceded “Do not give popcorn. Do not give whole nuts, hot dogs . . . without finely chopping and providing careful supervision until 6 years of age” and “Never leave unsupervised around water.” In other words, your boys’ playing with guns is every bit as unhealthy as choking to death and drowning. All across the nation, boys are being told, “No guns, no fighting (what used to be called roughhousing), no fun.” And girls? What are they being told “no” about?
Do not imagine there is no hidden agenda in these “no guns, no tolerance” policies. The sweet Miss So-and-So who claims to be your child’s teacher and tells you that the school and her class in particular do not allow guns or fighting (roughhousing) on the playground because “those behaviors only lead to violence” is the same agent of bad psychology who will tell you that you need to dope up your son on Ritalin because she cannot control his boisterousness in her classroom. And why is he so boisterous in her classroom? First, because he is a boy. Second, because she is not teaching him anything. And his nature does not allow him to sit still and color and play at crafts all day long as his classmates wearing pink are perfectly happy to do.
So let’s get rid of the New Double Standard—everything girlish good, everything boyish bad. If we can’t have guns, then let’s ban pink. If guns are the manifestation and symbol of everything that is bad about boys, then pink is the manifestation and symbol of everything that is bad about girls. Just reflect a moment.
Have girls and women used pink only for the public good? Has no woman resorted to feminine adornment to lure men into doing things they shouldn’t? What’s the world’s oldest profession? How many home-wreckers (as they used to be called) have put on pink before enticing a man into betrayal? Have girls and women never done bad things in order to get their hands on pink? How many beauty contestants have we heard of who have gotten kicked out of competitions because they have a record of shoplifting? We are told ad nauseam that boys and men have problems with aggression. When are we ever told that girls and women have problems with adornment and materialism? Do girls and women not make pink the cause of antagonism and hostility? “Can you believe she’s wearing that color with those shoes?” So says every imperious Nellie who has naturally pink cheeks and wears pink ribbons in her hair and who makes her clique into the ruling class of the school, casting other girls into the Dungeon of Unpopularity. Isn’t PINK the word today’s women (of all ages) have posted on their posteriors, drawing much more attention to that part of their anatomy than is often warranted? Behind every seduction, behind every subtle snatch in a store, behind every snarky comment, behind every skanky intention, there it is: the color pink. Let’s get rid of it.
The truth is there is something disordered about both the male and the female sexes. There is also something potentially noble about both the male and the female sexes. The purpose of schools (and the culture at large) is to take boys and girls as they come to us from God and nature—and to cultivate and discipline their natural tendencies. Men are the aggressive sex. Women are the adorning sex. To outlaw either aggression or adornment—wholesale—is to outlaw nature. The education that follows “the laws of Nature and Nature’s God” is the one that cultivates and disciplines boys’ innate desire for action and heroism as well as girls’ innate sense of propriety and beauty. To neglect one of these courses results in the development of only one half of humanity. Or worse, it sets one half of humanity against the other half, just as the officious little girl at the pool tried to vaunt herself over three boys who had no use for her school’s silly rules.
To put it another way, if we take away boys’ guns—and the spiritedness they show in their desire to play with guns—then who exactly is going to defend girls’ right to wear pink? “Absurd!” you say? Think again. Just how many girls and women do you see wearing pink on the streets of Tehran?
- Comment (21)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (1)
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
Comments:
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
At the pool last week with my girls here in Colorado, a little 2-year-old boy was shooting his toy gun away. And his older brother and cousin came by to show him how to really shoot that gun. As the mother of girls, I found the vignette so fascinating and a reminder of the difference between boys and girls. Thankfully his nanny was encouraging the play, only asking him to not shoot my girls while they played their own game in the pool. But I remember thinking that this whole scene would not be possible in DC.
Jun '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
I expect that weightlifting equipment will be removed from public schools someday because weightlifting equipment is sexist. It gives boys and girls different results, and we can't have that.
Feb '11
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
Thank you. I desperately needed an antidote to "Department of Jobs or the Department of Competitiveness."
Apr '11
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
The insidious results of what you describe goes beyond the overt "no guns, they promote violence" BS. In the classroom there is an underlying anti-male vibe that is creating generations of boys who are far behind their female and foreign peers in academics. The way children are seated, the style of teaching and the complete elimination of academic competition is handicapping boys at an alarming rate. At my daughter's middle school academic awards in June, I was shocked at how few boys received any awards. I've been going to these awards for my daughter since she was in 3rd grade where the split was 50/50 girl/boy to this past spring when that ratio was more like 80/20. The school has literally failed what was a group of boys with great learning potential. The local after-school learning center is literally filled with boys who require remedial tutoring to keep from falling too far behind. This in a wealthy NJ suburb with a school district considered one of the top 10 in the entire country. Parents who pay $13-18k property taxes per year are shelling out a fortune for tutors for their boys.
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
This officious, persnickety narc of a Code of Conduct enforcer will pretend not to have understood that double-entendre.
We remind you, however, that there are ladies present.
Nov '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
Though I agree with the article, I should point out that there is something distinctly useful about the nanny state nature of schools (and other child-related institutions, like public pools) these days. They are good testing grounds for teaching your child how to stand up for himself, and what he sees to be right, against arbitrary authority. It's a very difficult lesson to learn, and sometimes I'm grateful the school system here provided us with plenty of practice.
As for the pink thing - while in general girls may lean towards pink (and boys towards dirt) there's lots of tomboys outhere still; two of the most adventurous scrappers I knew have grown up to be quite lovely & accomplished young women. But back in the day they were as good with a squirt gun as any of their male cohort.
Oct '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
I wish more people would respond to this kind of thing with a simple, "It's not a gun. It's a toy. Learn the difference...doofus."
Ok, maybe without that last word.
Jul '11
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
I'm enjoying your posts so far, Mr. Moore. I went back and read some of your previous columns and longer stuff on Claremont's site. I plan on reading your book in the future as well.
Sep '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
When she was 5 years old, my daughter used her Barbie as a gun since she didn't have any. It's not that we'd made any conscious effort to avoid toy guns; she just hadn't seemed interested.
Girls like toy guns too. Rather than banning pink, I suggest gifts of toy guns to all children.
Jan '11
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
Saki's "The Toys of Peace," was the ultimate takedown on discouraging children from playing with guns. Given such inspiring new toys as a municipal dustbin, a model YWCA, and figures of John Stewart Mill and Felicia Hemans...well, I'll let Saki tell it:
"Peeping in through the doorway Harvey observed that the municipal dustbin had been pierced with holes to accommodate the muzzles of imaginary cannon, and now represented the principal fortified position in Manchester; John Stuart Mill had been dipped in red ink, and apparently stood for Marshal Saxe.
"Louis orders his troops to surround the Young Women's Christian Association and seize the lot of them. 'Once back at the Louvre and the girls are mine,' he exclaims. We must use Mrs. Hemans again for one of the girls; she says 'Never,' and stabs Marshal Saxe to the heart."
...
Harvey stole away from the room, and sought out his sister.
"Eleanor," he said, "the experiment --"
"Yes?"
"Has failed. We have begun too late."
Apr '11
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
Great post Terrance! I believe God created women to civilize men by their strength, charm and beauty not to emasculate us into disregarding our God given traits.
Up with guns! Out with the pink! at least until we get our guns back.
Sep '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
Hear, hear. Tyranny shouldn't be fought with pleas for "equal time," or "spread the oppression around." It must be fought with polite and principled defiance. Halifax is right on target that this is an important, but very difficult, lesson to teach children. I didn't properly learn it until my military career began. A good drill sargeant will try to lead you astray with incorrect or improperly phrased commands, and then get ready for the punishment!
Nov '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
drlorentz: When she was 5 years old, my daughter used her Barbie as a gun since she didn't have any. It's not that we'd made any conscious effort to avoid toy guns; she just hadn't seemed interested.
Girls like toy guns too. Rather than banning pink, I suggest gifts of toy guns to all children.
All of this reminds me of the time my ultra-feminine 7-year-old daughter dressed up as Princess Leia for Halloween, and borrowed the Star Wars toy gun of a male friend--we drove over to his house to pick it up. After Halloween, we were stuck with the intractable problem of getting the gun back without a long drive across town. You see, there was no way we could send the "gun" in to school--not even in a plain brown paper bag. NO guns are allowed on school property.
Nov '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
As the mother of both three boys and a daughter, I have to laugh at this piece. Why is it that so many little girls (and grown-up ones, for that matter) feel the need to be the "conscience of the playground"? Having also taught at an all-boys high school, I came to appreciate the civilizing power of girls! On the other hand, our culture has become so feminized, and males so unjustly cowed, that the nannies are crushing out all of the wonderful masculine traits that we so desperately need. After many indignant, but inneffectual, appeals to Mom, my lovely little girl found an excellent middle ground: a bright pink super-soaker.
Nov '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
I have a girl and a boy, and you are singin' my song! My girl gets so indignant that her brother, who is just about the most cheerful and lighthearted little guy you can imagine, is continually being reprimanded for something. He's too loud, he's too fast, he's too rough, he points the "finger-gun" at people--he is, in short, a boy.
From Mark Steyn's latest, After America:
Give me a boy till seven, said the Jesuits, and I will show you the man. Give me a boy till seventh grade, say today's educators, and we can eliminate the man problem entirely.
Apr '11
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
It's funny how children understand the concept of pretending and so-called adults can't see past their own delusions. Thinking the worst has become the new norm. We have become so risk averse as a society as to squeeze all of the fun out of life. I think the end result will be a society that starts choosing to ignore all laws, for good or bad, since there are too many to keep up with and they serve no useful purpose other that to validate some minority's warped world view.
Much like limited government, laws should be limited and straight forward lest they lose all value.
Dec '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
The sad, sad irony is that the gun-banners are already trying to ban pink.
Pink Stinks campaign website
Pinkstinks is a campaign and social enterprise that challenges the culture of pink which invades every aspect of girls' lives.
Edited on August 15, 2011 at 9:13pmThis site is for parents and non parents alike, and aims to gather support, promote discussion and ultimately to mobilize that support to influence marketeers and the media about the importance of promoting positive gender roles to girls.
Dec '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
(double post)
Edited on August 15, 2011 at 9:14pmRe: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
To Mr. Creque:
Unbelievable. It's hard to achieve good satire these days. Just when you think you have come up with something that is so over-the-top that no one has ever thought of it, you find out that the Left is way ahead of you.
Dec '10
Re: Let's Ban Pink on School Playgrounds
Terrence O. Moore, Guest Contributor: To Mr. Creque:
Unbelievable. It's hard to achieve good satire these days. Just when you think you have come up with something that is so over-the-top that no one has ever thought of it, you find out that the Left is way ahead of you.
The Left is beyond parody. To wit:
Lego Lunacy
Constructing the Class-less Classroom of the Future
Building The Socialist Community One Child at a Time, could be the motto for one Washington-state school. Seattle's Hilltop Children's Center has found itself in a not-so-flattering light after a Lego-banning exercise came to national attention.
The center's teachers decided a Legotown built by Hilltop's after-school students fostered too much competition, power-grabs and class-consciousness, so they banned the blocks before rugged individualism became rampant.
In an interview, the center's Mentor Teacher Ann Pelo said banning the toys led the children to a "...strikingly profound understanding of the ways in which private ownership falls short, or the ways in which private ownership is inherently unfair."