Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
In the pop culture today, anti-bullying has become synonymous with Lady Gaga–and it’s no surprise. The freakish-looking pop star who, when interviewed, acts like a complete wallflower, was the victim of bullying in her childhood.
Now that she’s a millionaire with an incredible base of devotees–nearly twenty million Twitter followers and fifty million Facebook fans–she and her mother, Cynthia Germanotta, have launched the Born This Way Foundation which will, in conjunction with the MacArthur Foundation, Harvard’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society, and the California Endowment to Empower Youth, educate kids in the ways of anti-bullying. The purpose of the foundation, formally unveiled Wednesday at Harvard University, is “building a braver, kinder world that celebrates individuality and empowers young people,” according to its website.
The Born This Way Foundation represents much that is wrong with our pop culture and its insistence on defining the moral agenda of our lives. By coddling young people by fetishizing “acceptance” and “individuality,” Gaga’s foundation will sideline the kind tough-minded sandbox wisdom that young people only learn by facing up to their cruel peers on the playground during recess. But more than that–and more importantly–its agenda will deliver yet another blow to the idea that people should take personal responsibility for the things that they do.
Most adolescents want nothing more than to simply be normal and to blend in with the crowd. That’s why they all shop at the same stores, wear the same backpack brand, speak in the same colloquialisms, play the same few socially acceptable sports, and do their hair the same way. Those who break from this social code–those who stand out in one way or another–get bullied and ridiculed. This is not an ideal situation, but it is a fact of life, and it used to be a fact of life that the bullied had to learn to deal with. If they were different, they either stood up for themselves or learned to conform to the prevailing pressure to be normal–an incredibly valuable lesson for later in life. That’s what I mean by tough-minded sandbox wisdom.
Now, the bullied have a breathtaking array of institutional support telling them that they don’t need to deal with their social problems head-on. They simply have to be who they are, be themselves, and that’s good enough. When being themselves pushes them to the brink, as it did with the gay Rutgers student who committed suicide in 2010 after being videotaped kissing another man by his roommate, then the onus of responsibility falls not on the “victim” (here, the gay student), but on the villain (here, the roommate who “bullied” him, now facing up to ten years in prison). Ditto this week's Ohio high school shooter, with whom Gaga's mother empathizes.
In yesterday's New York Times, columnist Nicholas Kristof reports on the launch of Lady Gaga’s new group by highlighting an experience she had being bullied:
xxx
When she was in high school, Lady Gaga says, she was thrown into a trash can.
The culprits were boys down the block, she told me in an interview on Wednesday in which she spoke — a bit reluctantly — about the repeated cruelty of peers during her teenage years.
“I was called really horrible, profane names very loudly in front of huge crowds of people, and my schoolwork suffered at one point,” she said. “I didn’t want to go to class. And I was a straight-A student, so there was a certain point in my high school years where I just couldn’t even focus on class because I was so embarrassed all the time. I was so ashamed of who I was.”
xxx
Gaga’s mother has another story along these lines:
xxx
As for whether Gaga herself was ever bullied, her mother recalls one anxiety-ridden weekend that became a defining moment. Her daughter, whose given name is Stefani Germanotta, was “purposefully not invited” to a party one weekend by some of her classmates, her mother says. “On Monday, they asked her what she did over the weekend, knowing full well that she knew about the party. It comes down to meanness and cruelty,” she says. “Exclusion is a form of that.”
xxx
These don’t sound like life-altering traumas to me. These sound to me like the petty antics of immature high school students, which are a routine part of the rigmarole of being a young person.
Yet, anti-bullying has become the cause of the day in our pop culture. How? Very simply, it is consequence of pop’s belief that feeling good is a human right. But don’t take it from me. Kristof, in his ode to Gaga in today’s New York Times, observes that we are ”born to not get bullied.” He means that the right to not get bullied is something inherent in us, something that we are born with–what used to be known as a divine, God-given right. In today’s pop culture, not being bullied is the closest thing to a natural right that we can all gather around: “Bullying and teenage cruelty are human rights abuses that need to be higher on our agenda,” he writes. Anything that violates that right–that makes us feel bad about ourselves–must be done away with.
- Comment (58)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (2)
Comments:
Sep '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Kids who act in bizarre ways are not the only ones who get bullied; girls will often bully a girl when they know that she is prettier than they are. Teaching kids to stand up for themselves is the best way, but our schools have a zero tolerance policy for violence, so any kid who punches a bully in the nose will be labeled a bully himself, and kicked out of school. In the old days, when I was a kid, the potential for violence went a long way towards keeping bullies at bay, but when physical violence is prohibited, psychological cruelty intensifies.
Jun '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Valiuth
Colin B Lane
There has always been theft and lying, we work rather hard to discourage both from happening and we certainly do not celebrate it when it occurs either. Especially in our children. I also fail to see the problem in one small group of people celebrating their strange, yet non-harmful dress, music styles, etc... · 16 minutes ago
Another thought: I'm guessing the vast majority of parents raise their children to treat others nicely, and yet shabby treatment goes on. It's part of human nature. It's why religion can be such a force for good in the world -- it instructs us, essentially, to act against our natures.
The real problem with the Lady Gaga's of the world -- in addition to celebrating the freakish and debased -- is that the next step will be to call for a government program to stop the "bullying." I'm sorry, V, but there is no amount of taxpayer money we can spend putting teenagers in re-education camps that will prevent human nature from showing its nasty and brutish face on occasion.
Aug '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Yep.
Agreed. But who, besides the bullies, would propose this solution?
Definitely. The energy that goes into these programs could be better used to teach kids old-fashioned manners.
You have to shame the bullies for their boorish behavior, not glorify the victim (even bullies -- especially bullies -- think of themselves as victims). Of course, shaming bullies is difficult, since bullies tend to have less of a sense of shame to begin with.
True. We had to be there.
Jan '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Valiuth
John France: It also fits nicely into the left wing mime that you are born Gay a "fact" that has no basis that I know of in the biological sciences or even the social sciences after years of striving by sympathetic academics toward proving that idea. · 11 minutes
Edited 7 minutes ago
There is on real prof that it is a conscious choice either, or that once established people can alter their sexuality. · 27 minutes ago
Wow, I had that up for about four minutes when I edited it out as not really being on point and I can see I was right to do so. Shall we argue over who should have the burden of proof. I like your idea of can't change once established better than born that way anyway so I'll just say touche' and save the topic for some other time.
Aug '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Judithann Campbell:
Kids who act in bizarre ways are not the only ones who get bullied; girls will often bully a girl when they know that she is prettier than they are.
Teaching kids to stand up for themselves is the best way, but our schools have a zero tolerance policy for violence, so any kid who punches a bully in the nose will be labeled a bully himself, and kicked out of school.
This is so unfortunately true. And the real bullies know this, and take advantage of it, pretending that the students that they want to bully have physically attacked them when they haven't, or that an act of self-defense on their victims' part was completely unprovoked.
Yes. Personally, I'd rather get bruised or scraped in a fight from time to time than have to put up with intense, twisted, psychological cruelty. (Sexual advances intended to humiliate you are the worst, I think.)
Aug '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
I get a little annoyed when wildly successful people complain about their childhoods. Would she have become the successful pop star she is if she had never been bullied?
Apr '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
The best way to educate bullies would be concealed-carry permits for grade-schoolers. But kids are not equally ready to be educated:
Aug '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Well, if they have outlawed "tag" on the schoolyard, and you can't pick teams due to self-esteem issues, and the helmets must be firmly affixed before venturing out on your bike, then the problem with bullying ought to focus on a society that demeans and insulates its children from life. That is bullying, dressed as coddling. It weakens, crippling the exploration of the edges, the ability to test oneself, and the pure social lessons of strength versus intelligence which keeps smart people out of the way of dumb animals and trains.
Unintended consequences. I still think this will end up as a call for the hatecrimes involved in language use. Carting some seven year old off for calling someone a fag on the playground. Or making fun of the tutu that some poor boy's mother let him wear to school.
Sep '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
When I was 6 years old, another 6 year old girl whose path I crossed on the way to school told me that she was going to beat me up, tomorrow. I sought my father's counsel; he was adamant that I had to face the menacing 6 year old down, and get into a fight if necessary, so the next day, I faced her down and told her that I was willing to fight her, if she insisted. She changed her mind. God Bless my father.
Nov '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Anytime people talk about bullying I remember the same thing from my childhood: another kid in my class was taunting me, not as a way to get attention because there were no other people there but simply to make himself feel better I guess. I finally got fed up trying to ignore him and hit him as hard as I could (we were both ten, so moral equivalence didn't really occur to me). He left me alone after that, and eventually we got along pretty well.
The same thing today would land me in trouble, and he'd probably have played a victim but we both understood something that kids and their parents today don't: children have their own society and sometimes you have to let them shake it out. Movements like this take away that initial discovery self-determination and self-reliance by making you appeal to a higher physical power instead of fighting back, and that is to the detriment of all children and society at large.
Jun '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
I'm a bit dismayed by the tone of comments in this thread--they strike me as saying: "Bullying's going to happen. Targets should either suck it up or strike back. Anyway--it builds character."
As the mother of a special-needs child ( a natural target for bullies) and someone who was teased relentlessly as a child, is it wrong of me to NOT want such a thing to happen to my child? And is it wrong of me to ask the schools (and by extension, the parents) to try to keep it from happening? My child isn't able to defend himself--both by his nature and by the schools' requirements. Nor does he/will he have the ability to process the experience and shake it off easily in adulthood. If our children are required to be in schools, then it seems to me that there should be an effort to protect at least the defenseless among them from bullying, just as we try to prevent them from physical harm such as school shootings.
Sep '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
KayBee: kids should be taught to protect not just themselves, but other kids from bullies too. Meaning, if you see a bully picking on a special needs child, you should step in and protect the special needs child. Of course, you should also tell a teacher. Obviously, kids who don't have the capacity to protect themselves need to be protected by others. I think the concern of many posting is that post modern parents treat all children as though they are helpless, and incapable of dealing with any situation without adult involvement. Parents who try to protect all kids from everything are not fostering independence.
Nov '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
You're right in the sense that schools should discourage this sort of behavior, either through some policies or (better) through moral teaching. You're especially correct in the case of special needs children who are, unfortunately, often forgotten in the normal course of conversations on children in general.
The best answer I can make to your post is to say that there needs to be some authority to help protect the more vulnerable and to prevent a Lord of the Flies situation. Most commenters here are either angry, or worried, because they feel that this desire to protect those who do need it becomes a movement to prevent anything from happening to anyone which we feel is as detrimental as doing nothing.
Aug '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Wait, the extent of her "bullying" was limited to not being invited to a party, and being thrown in a trash-can once?!?!
As someone who was beaten up daily at different times, boo-freakin'-hoo.
Apr '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Having been on the bullied end of things, I can empathize with those seeing the Anti-Bullying campaigns as a good thing. Yet more often than not I've seen it being used as a way to silence others and excuse one's own bad behavior.
I appreciate the sentiment; I distrust the motives entirely.
Feb '12
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Not to get too meta here, but isn't this "anti-bullying campaign" just another version of in-group/out-group behaviour? In this instance, the in-group is people who view sexual behaviour and gender as irrelevant, and the out-group is those who disagree.
Surely I cannot be the only one who has been subjected to an amazing amount of vitriol and truly adolescent behaviour for failing to be suitably accepting of whatever the current annointed victim class is.
Aug '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
C. U. Douglas: Having been on the bullied end of things, I can empathize with those seeing the Anti-Bullying campaigns as a good thing. Yet more often than not I've seen it being used as a way to silence others and excuse one's own bad behavior.
I appreciate the sentiment; I distrust the motives entirely.
As someone who was bullied a LOT, I completely agree.
Five minutes after a school puts "regulations" in place to "put an end to" bullying, the bullies figure out how to use the regulations against their victims to make the damage even worse.
The best lesson I learned from my bullying experiences was that the "authorities" are NEVER any help.
May '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
The anti-bullying crusade is just another example of the Left's amazing talent for projection. Their politics revolve around intimidation. Their policies are founded on a refusal of free will.
And conservatives had better learn quick that political bullying must be dealt with the same way as physical bullying. When respect fails, power is what preserves freedom.
Aug '10
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Misthiocracy
C. U. Douglas: Having been on the bullied end of things, I can empathize with those seeing the Anti-Bullying campaigns as a good thing. Yet more often than not I've seen it being used as a way to silence others and excuse one's own bad behavior.
I appreciate the sentiment; I distrust the motives entirely.
As someone who was bullied a LOT, I completely agree.
Five minutes after a school puts "regulations" in place to "put an end to" bullying, the bullies figure out how to use the regulations against their victims to make the damage even worse.
Yes, I have noticed this, too.
Apr '11
Re: Lady Gaga & The Anti-Bullying Crusade
Colin B Lane
The real problem with the Lady Gaga's of the world is that the next step will be to call for a government program to stop the "bullying."
I agree that is the fear of all initiatives like this. What I want to argue is that, first kids can be really cruel and stupid, but that it is not OK for them to be this way. Second while not all passive actions that lead to children feeling excluded, disliked etc are bullying active form exist and are a more direct problem. Third it is the role of adults to stop active cases of bullying when they observe it. I am arguing too many teachers just let kids get away with picking on more passive and strange kids and that is a major failure. The results of which can become tragic.
I think it rather perverse to teach kids that people abusing them is their own fault, for not fitting in.
That said no government mandate will fix this. The solution is for parents and teachers to vigilantly stamp down on bullying, when they see it occur or know it is happening, basically they have to care.