The Occupy Cleveland Five.
Sorry, girls, but these magnificent specimens of American Liberal Manhood, er... Metrosexuality... eh... Oh, you know what I mean! Anyway, these boys are off the market.
They tried to buy several C-4 IEDs and blow up a major bridge yesterday by texting a detonation code from their cell phones. But because our Occupy heroes are as smart as they are handsome they purchased their goods from an undercover FBI agent.
In a rare moment of candid self assessment, Occupy Cleveland member Robin Adelmann told The Cleveland Plain Dealer, "They're like an offshoot, and they're not part of this -- especially now that we know what they were up to." (Emphasis mine)
Adelmann also complained about the movement's lack of... well, movement. "Lately it's been very nonexistent," Adelmann said. "The public is a bit bored with us."
What do expect when all your hotties are behind bars?