Ladies, may I introduce you to....
The Occupy Cleveland Five.
Sorry, girls, but these magnificent specimens of American Liberal Manhood, er... Metrosexuality... eh... Oh, you know what I mean! Anyway, these boys are off the market.
They tried to buy several C-4 IEDs and blow up a major bridge yesterday by texting a detonation code from their cell phones. But because our Occupy heroes are as smart as they are handsome they purchased their goods from an undercover FBI agent.
In a rare moment of candid self assessment, Occupy Cleveland member Robin Adelmann told The Cleveland Plain Dealer, "They're like an offshoot, and they're not part of this -- especially now that we know what they were up to." (Emphasis mine)
Adelmann also complained about the movement's lack of... well, movement. "Lately it's been very nonexistent," Adelmann said. "The public is a bit bored with us."
What do expect when all your hotties are behind bars?
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Comments:
May '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Why, these guys look like they were raised by a bunch of... hippies!
Mar '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
I wonder how many of 'em voted for Mr Obama, and were disappointed?
May '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Stray Cat Strut?
Apr '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Entrapment? They purchased brick sized blocks of what they believed to be explosives, fastened them to a bridge, and typed the detonation code into their cell phones. If they weren't serious about causing serious harm and mayhem, they could have called it off at any time during the process. Apparently, not one of the five goons said, ya know, maybe this isn't such a good idea.
May '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Cleveland, who knew? I thought these guys had all been shepherded to the coasts.
May '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
With the right pose and hat, any one of them could look as heroic as a Che Guevara T-shirt. These revolutionaries need better PR. Martyrdom works too.
Oct '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Yeah, I think John Murdoch's concern is unnecessary. I'm not a lawyer, but the FBI is crammed full of them. They well understand how to avoid handing these clue-birds an entrapment defense. They have to be able to demonstrate in court that the knuckleheads (a) operated at their own volition; (b) believed the explosives were real; (c) took actions they believed would cause detonation and thus would achieve criminal violence/property damage. Assuming the agents followed FBI protocols, this one should be a slam dunk.
Jan '12
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
If it would serve as a occasion for describing why the Bill of Rights contains the Second Amendment, yes.
Jul '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Well you have to admire them, really you do. They set a goal and achieved it. They wanted a life where the government would take care of them and now they are going to get it. Room, board, entertainment all provided by the government. Hope they are happy.
Aug '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
I swear Lance posted a song a couple of months ago from the last album these guys put out.
Edited on May 3, 2012 at 1:13amMay '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Does the first one look like he was crying? There's no crying in anarchy! Excuse me while I wander back to the "Hey Girl Paul Ryan" thread.
May '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
For those of you obsessing over entrapment, here's a bit of free non-legal advice from a lawyer: if a new acquaintance offers to sell you contraband plastic explosives, say no. First, you may not legally possess said materials; second, your new buddy may be an undercover law enforcement officer engaged in the eminently reasonable pursuit of ferreting out people who are in the market for contraband plastic explosives. Further, if you do manage to obtain your illicit goodies, don't affix them to a public structure and try to detonate them. First, your undercover buddy mentioned above may have supplied you with duds, arrest you, and distribute your disheveled mug shot to the local paper; second, God forbid, you may actually blow something up and learn the hard way that these same law enforcement agencies are pretty good at tracing the explosives and ultimately shackling you in leg irons.
Regardless of how you slice it, each scenario results in you facing serious time for violating a boatload of very good laws. Face it - your legitimate concern over civil liberties is wasted on these bozos.
May '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Caroline, I want to go into business with you! I can envision a whole line of "There's No Crying in Anarchy" merchandise. And selling to anti-capitalists makes it sweeter!
Dec '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
I have entered the EJHill zone. I can't tell anymore what is real and what is photoshopped. Clearly these photos are not real, right? EJHill, is there a way I can get out of the zone?
May '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Cents - You mean it's time for me to retire and walk? I'm too good for my own good? Or no photos when I'm being serious...
Apr '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
I'm sure they all looked like Eagle scouts before EJ got a hold of them. :D
Dec '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
EJHill, all I ask is to make the truth seem less like a photoshop with some clever editing. As you being too good for your good, I don't want to insult you with compliments. It's bad enough that I like your work, to have to admit to it is too degrading. If I were a kind person I would say, "Thank you" but since I am not don't hold your breath. :-)
May '10
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
EJHill:
Heh. Digital scrapbooking software - the interface may be dumb compared to Photoshop, but it's got muscle.
P.S. Friends: the use of Comic Sans was meant as a JOKE!
Sep '11
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
Follow up:
One of the really useful things about the Internet is the ability to find--and read--original source materials. I've speculated, above, about the question of entrapment--and hoped that we'd hear some informed commentary on what constitutes entrapment, and what the legal issues are. Alas.
On the other hand, the Internet comes through: the FBI affidavit is now visible on Cleveland.com.
Obviously the document is written from the FBI's perspective--but if they can produce half the recordings they refer to, these guys are going to wearing orange jumpsuits for a long time.
Feb '12
Re: Ladies, may I introduce you to....
And the winner is........