Kool-Aid Culture
I spend a lot of time wondering how to be a good mom in a “big picture” sense. Sure, enforcement of proper hand-washing is a must. Refereeing tug-of-wars over toys is a daily – sometimes hourly -- chore. I can handle this stuff (if I’ve had my coffee). But what I really fret about is how best to shape the path my three children will walk over the next decade.
How can I be involved in their school curricula and community without being the mom who causes eyes to roll at the PTA meeting? How can I inspect homework and ask about school in a way that doesn’t cause my kids to clam up? How do I balance that “let ’em figure it out” feeling with the one that says, “If you don’t butt in, they’re going to be chanting Lil Wayne lyrics during Mass”?
Fortuitously, Marybeth Hicks arrived on the Ricochet scene last year. It was as if someone had heard the call of my confused maternal soul and sent me a mentor, albeit a virtual one. Since then, we’ve exchanged a few e-mails and enjoy mutual followship on Twitter. I’ve signed up for Family Events, an e-newsletter about parenting in which Marybeth shares an anecdote about her family and then opens a question up to the readership. I enjoy the light touch she brings to serious issues. She’s been there; I trust her. I admire that she’s a mother of four, funny, a serious Catholic, accomplished (she worked in the Reagan White House), hip without being a hippie, and totally at peace with herself. Perhaps you saw her on Hannity a couple of weeks ago discussing the news of the day with a few other folks. I’ve never been on one of those types of panels, but I imagine it’s pretty hard not to a) constantly interrupt everyone else or b) get steamrolled. A tough balance, but Marybeth’s a pro.
And, she’s written a new book. Don’t Let the Kids Drink the Kool-Aid: Confronting the Left’s Assault on Our Families, Faith, and Freedom is, in Hicks’s own words, a political book with a “message that needs to get out.” Some people, she told me, find it scary. But I’m already scared. Scared that the public education system will turn my kids into Big Liberal Robots. The Three R’s used to be reading, ’riting, and ’rithmetic. Now it’s more like redistribution, renewable energy, and rewriting history.
With school starting this week in my neck of the woods, I wondered if she’d answer a few questions for me about parenting. She was willing to let me share it with you, lucky Ricochet readers. I hope you find her as wise as I do. And please, if you have children, or if you care about the country’s future, order her book.
Ursula: I often feel that I should either home-school or send my kids to private/Catholic school. What can a financially struggling family with no real means to escape the public school system do to firmly but politely push back against the liberal agenda that you describe in the book?
Marybeth: The issues of leftism that are facing families with young kids aren’t entirely restricted to public schools, since all teachers are trained in schools of education, where some of the biggest radicals in the academy hang their hats. But of course, public schools in particular are so left-leaning in curriculum and policy and millions of families rely on them. Don’t Let the Kids Drink the Kool-Aid exposes several areas where parents need to be vigilant — comprehensive sexuality education, eco-radicalism as science curriculum, multi-culti propaganda instead of history or social studies, and topics that aren’t taught, like civics and economics — all areas where the left makes serious inroads into the beliefs and ideas of our kids. Push back by being very engaged! You have to go over materials used by your teachers and offer balance, whether it’s providing information about an alternative point of view or just having lively conversations around your dinner table. What we can’t do is just drop our kids at the school house door and assume the best.
U: Have your kids ever gone off on a liberal streak about something, forcing you to have to point out to them exactly how they are being "brainwashed"?
MB: The eco-radical science lessons throughout middle school quite frankly became annoying! My son had to sit through Al Gore’s miserable film even after it had been discredited, and my daughter had to watch a National Geographic documentary called “Human Footprint” (which should have been called “The Big Bad Evil Anti-American Anti-Capitalist Footprint” because that was its purpose.) And it was sold as science! Suffice to say I researched the film and found the teaching materials online and was able to refute the political messages in it in conversations with my daughter. But most parents won’t go to the trouble or don’t even know their kids are being subjected to this stuff. And of course, what they learn in school is reinforced in all of their media content, so the molding of their opinions is almost inevitable.
U: How important, if at all, is it to have other parents in your community circle that are as firm and principled as you are in terms of helping to guide your kids?
MB: It’s very important, but the issues in Don’t Let the Kids Drink the Kool-Aid extend way beyond parents to grandparents, concerned citizens and anyone who cares about our nation’s future. This isn’t a parenting book at all, but a political book with a message about our future. My goal is to expose how pervasive the left’s reach really is with our young generation and to inspire folks to pay closer attention. If we don’t, I think we’re looking at the first generation of American socialists and images such as the recent London riots will be happening here, too.
U: What's the secret to raising kids who not only won't drink the Kool-Aid but will recognize it as Kool-Aid when they're offered it?
MB: In the book, I encourage everyone to respond personally, publicly and politically and to recommit ourselves to raising a virtuous generation. We have to work harder to instill what are commonly considered “American” values into this generation of young people. We’re already seeing some serious ramifications of leftist indoctrination in the character of our nation’s kids — hypersexuality, moral relevancy, a lack of faith, a troubling narcissism and dependency, bullying, immaturity — I could go on! But my goal isn’t to complain about young people; it’s to promote a greater sense of responsibility for the future of our country by connecting the dots that paint a troubling picture of our children’s generation.
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Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Ursula,
What a great interview. Thanks so much for doing it.
I just dropped my oldest daughter off for her first day of Junior Kindergarten at our wonderful Lutheran school. Our curriculum is fantastic and I can rest easy that she won't be indoctrinated with some of the silliness that is out there. But even with great faculty and curriculum, many or all of these messages get through in other ways and we must remain vigilant.
I am going to get this book on your suggestion and also so I can help my brother and sister who are already complaining about the indoctrination their kids receive in public schools in Colorado.
Mar '11
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
The biggest single problem with "correcting" bad schooling is that students learn that their teachers are idiots. And that is a bad thing for learning the stuff that kids *should* be learning.
I was a very difficult student. I had fun, but my I paid a price (in terms of my transcript) for the fact that I would not suffer foolishness from my teachers. The line between legitimate critical thought and unacceptable ridicule is thin even in college - and most grade school teachers will consider all disagreement to be a threat.
Mar '11
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
And because of all of that, it is just much easier for me to home school my own spawn. It is easier than carpooling, anyway!
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
iWc: The biggest single problem with "correcting" bad schooling is that students learn that their teachers are idiots. And that is a bad thing for learning the stuff that kids *should* be learning.
I was a very difficult student. I had fun, but my I paid a price (in terms of my transcript) for the fact that I would not suffer foolishness from my teachers. The line between legitimate critical thought and unacceptable ridicule is thin even in college - and most grade school teachers will consider all disagreement to be a threat. · Sep 6 at 7:14am
That's a very good point. Same thing happened to my brother.
Jun '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Ursula, good to see you again. You have been missed.
One thing we did with our kids that seemed to work was to read all their assigned book report books. While we never banned a book, we held multiple conversations over what the books were saying at the dinner table. We didn't get the "difficult" label from the teachers; our kids learned that not all books are good.
Dec '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
We just sent our youngest off for her "last first day of high school". My wife's father was a teacher/administrator, and we've always been big proponents of involvement in the public school system. Our view has always been that - as Christians - we had a responsibility to NOT hide in a holy huddle but to actively engage. We've been blessed that my income is sufficient to enable my wife to devote a lot of time to volunteer at the schools and she has made a huge difference in the lives of a lot of kids - Christian and non-Christian alike.
The selfish result is a pair of extremely well grounded young adults. I look at my son and daughter and feel at least a small measure of confidence for the future. Have they been exposed to leftist kaka? Certainly, but they learned early on to recognize it. And we were also fortunate to have some teachers who, while being forced to foist some of the garbage on the kids, came up with subversive ways of letting the kids know that they didn't agree with said kaka.
Jun '11
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Looks like a great book. Look forward to getting it.
My wife and I try to rebut the leftist tilt our kids get in school at times when we are able to discover it. You have to inquire and get them talking sometimes.
My daughter explained that America was way behind with public rail and the like in relation to Europe. My wife and I had our mouth hung open in disbelief. I asked my daughter why she thought that. Her Spanish teacher spoke about it. We thought we had her on board and she usually is.
We explained how great it was to have the freedom to get your own motor running and go wherever you wanted at any time.
Seems to us its just little things like this constantly you have to discover and set straight.
Edited on Sep 6, 2011 at 7:45amMay '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Welcome back, Ursula! We've missed you!
I would also be sure to have some comprehensive sources on hand, in particular, on US history and on science both for you and your husband, and child-level presentations. Trying to counter what is being taught will tax the best of us busy in our own fields of endeavor.
Edited on Sep 6, 2011 at 7:51amAug '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
I have tried all the options from fancy prep schools, home schooling, skipping high school for GED and hard work and then to college, public, Catholic, other religions schools. The two older ones have graduated from college and the young one is a freshman in high school, thankfully Catholic after a short stint in public middle school.
My favorite question for new teachers was always: what day will you be covering sex education ? I am pretty sure my child will be "sick" that day and unable to attend and get the state's version of normal sexuality as you intrude in my family value systems and morals. It usually braced the teacher a bit, but put them on notice.
The best defense was to explain how these teachers got to be so liberal and to be on the lookout. Most of the kids are a little overboard and challenge the teachers when the koolaid comes out, cause them a little trouble, but makes Daddy swell with pride,and slip 'em a twenty under the table. Why can't all the Rico kids go to Hillsdale ?
Feb '11
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Thank you Ursula, this is right on time! :)
Apr '11
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Oh, Ursula, you're back! Hurray, hurray!
Jun '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
"The issues of leftism that are facing families with young kids aren’t entirely restricted to public schools, since all teachers are trained in schools of education, where some of the biggest radicals in the academy hang their hats."
As far as I'm concerned, this can't be repeated enough. Also, remember that the privates and publics use the same textbooks, which is where most of the indoctrination occurs.
The most lefty, anti-American teachers my kids were ever exposed to were found at a Catholic school. Al Gore's film was not merely shown at my daughter's selective, expensive Catholic h.s., it was celebrated with an entre day of green activism. My daughter & some like minded friends completely stumped the presenter with pointed questions & facts that exposed Gore's fraud.
And regardless of what a school's curriculum may be, the teacher at the front of the classroom will choose her own presenation and spin. In 1976 at a Catholic h.s. our religion class was taught one day by a parish priest who discussed family life issues and brought in condoms.
You push back against the liberal agenda by talking with your kids.
Dec '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
I'm already a week into the first year of middle school, down here, and it hasn't been pretty. Our boy missed, completely did not have, lunch, for two days, because we insist on paying for meals. They make it very difficult not to sign up for free meals, because they get better funding, the more "needy" kids they have enrolled.
I have copies of all of his textbooks, that I went in and had the principal issue to me for the year, from the library. I am watching them like a hawk! I have already seen the teachers on their off days, wearing AFSCME jerseys, so I get where their priorities are.
I have a more difficult task as Mommarun is apolitical/leans liberal, so she grants everyone the benefit of the doubt. As such, I tend to be the heavy, but have to be careful that I don't push so hard that the kids just clam up, in front of me. Fortunately, I tend to be the one they come to for homework help, so I just try to steer lightly.
Jun '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Yes, CJ, you do have to be aware of pushing too hard. As a kid, I carefully edited what I told my parents because I feared overreaction. So dad never knew about the condom-carrying priest and dozens of other situations I faced. Had they been more reasonable, I would have greatly benefited from my parents' combined wisdom because I'd have reached out to them more often.
It's also important to pick your battles. Not just what you choose to make an issue, but what your kids are willing to stand up for. Standing up to a lefty teacher may cost your kid a grade. Your kid has to be aware of that and willing to accept that consequence. The surest way to avoid a grade knock is to be armed with more facts at one's disposal than the teacher, coupled with the confidence to present them in a respectful way. A busy kid may not have the time to fight, and that is a good life lesson. Like the serenity prayer teaches, you have to learn what you can change, what is really worth fighting for, and how to fortify yourself for the challenge.
May '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
The best way to keep your kids from going down on the Titanic is to not get on it in the first place. The palliative measures of "getting involved" are like giving the child a life jacket and fighting to get them into a lifeboat.
The only remedy for the government school mess is return choice to the parents in the form of vouchers. That won't do you any good (because it won't happen soon enough).
Stretch as hard as you can to find a way to keep your kids out of the government school.
As for the PTA. The PTA has metastisized into the casino-night fundraising love slave of the teacher's unions. Don't waste your time. Alice McLellan Birney (PTA Founder) is spinning in her grave.
Jul '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Glad to see You back, Ursula. You've been sorely missed. Have Yer ears (eyes? fingers? I don't know. What's the internet equivalent?) been burning?
I'm with some of the Others. What do You do with the child that sees right and wrong, doesn't want to answer wrong due to integrity, but doesn't want to suffer academically?
Jun '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Stretch as hard as you can to find a way to keep your kids out of the government school.
· Sep 6 at 4:13pm
Not for us. We moved out of the private school back to our the publics. We found the government schools to be superior in several areas. Less nepotism, more responsive to parents, and hugely committed to a fabulous arts program. Even the Latin instruction is superior, with 100% passing rates on the AP exam.
In a nation of over 300 million spread across 50 states that offer a wide diversity of schooling options from which to choose it would be foolish to make blanket statements about any school system or educational expeience, be it public, private or home schooling.
Dec '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
Jimmy, this is when you pull out the quote, "Discretion is the better part of valor".
Nick, what if we are already stretched to the breaking point?
I cannot even squirrel away food for hurricanes and eventual needs, as Mommarun is an always optimist and believes we should contribute to every can drive.
We are desperately poor, yet give everywhere. I,have chickens in my office.
I have made my peace.
I must quit my Galt adventure and go back to work that pays decent money, because I cannot fight against feuding, divorced parents, when I am the "parent" the kids come and talk to.
It sounds easy to suggest that you just home-school your kids, but that does nothing to help actual kids that come crying to you, because they have been taught that their world is going to be flooded, due to global warming. And the actual parents don't doubt such things, so you are their only anchor.
I have to depart my Galt existence because our kids are in trouble and I can't stay on the sideline, when they wake up screaming in the night.
And they do.
Jun '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
You offer guidance & explain that this is how the world works. You teach your kids to pick their battles. Not every hill is worth dying on.
One egregious example of propaganda occured in my daughter's religion class a few years back. Uber lefty wanna-be-a-nun type. Preaching that America is a "valueless society" and expecting a five page paper on how America has let down the poor, the huddled masses, the immigrants streaming over our borders. I've never seen my daughter so angry! This was a battle worth fighting and she did, with a brilliant, scathing paper attacking the idiot teacher's premise. I made sure to read it before she submitted it, as my advice was to write a flawless paper that the teacher can't criticize on its merit. It was begrudgingly graded as an A. I've never questioned my kids' grades, but was prepared to do so.
Jul '10
Re: Kool-Aid Culture
StickerShock
You offer guidance & explain that this is how the world works. You teach your kids to pick their battles. Not every hill is worth dying on.· Sep 6 at 5:32pm
Well, I'm that child to which I referred, and "every hill" is a conviction. It's innate. I don't/can't compromise Right and wrong. I failed miserably in school (except math) because I wouldn't regurgitate what the teachers wanted.
What do You do with such kids with Parents Who have to work and can't afford Home schooling or private tutorials? I think I remember Theodore Dalrymple writing about such people in "Life At The Bottom." Time to review.