Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Eric Ames ·
December 9, 2011 at 5:11pm
...owning nukes is illegal in Chicago.
From the Chicago Municipal Code.
(a) Phase-out of present activities. No person shall knowingly, within the City of Chicago, design, produce, deploy, launch, maintain, or store nuclear weapons or components of nuclear weapons. This prohibition shall take effect two years after the adoption and publication of this ordinance...
...Each violation of this ordinance shall be punishable by up to 30 days’ imprisonment and a $1,000.00 fine. Each day of violation shall be deemed a separate violation.
Nuclear Free Zones- because nothing deters nuclear terrorism like the threat of 30 days in prison.
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Comments:
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
"Phase-out of present activities". I'm only half-joking when I say that I think they have the same thing in the books in New York for 4 Loko.
Dec '11
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Wasnt a lot of hte original research and thinking behind the chain reaction done at the University of Chicago? I believe I read that a professor thought it up at a stop light and then tested it in the sports stadium. Its been some years since I read anything on the subject so I may be wrong.
I think the language design, and produce are relevant here.
May '10
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
If the terrorists knew they'd spend 30 days in the Cook County lockup, you can be sure it would make them choose someplace else to do their mischief.
May '11
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Didn't the Manhattan project begin in Chicago overseen by Enrico Fermi under a Squash court?
I guess that this ordinance will keep him from doing that again!
May '10
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
You're right, as Pilli also said, the first controlled nuclear reaction took place in the basement of one of the sports facilities, using Enrico Fermi's "pile", as they called it.
Jul '11
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
There goes a life long ambition of mine. When I was in elementary school I came across a very, very old article from a Libertarian magazine my grandfather had. In the article was a passionate defense of the second amendment which argued for parity of militia to counter government over-reach. Effectively bad-government-insurance. Anyway, I is it really necessary to outlaw this specifically? Doesn't it already fall under the 'destructive weapons' laws out there?
Mar '11
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Wow -- I feel much safer now.
As we know, the "War on Terror" is neither a War or against Terrorists, and is instead a crime - so the municipal code makes perfect sense. We should get one in Tucson.
Aug '10
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
It's a good thing this kid didn't live in Chicago.
Dec '10
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Of course, you know that this means privately held nukes will be kept in Evanston. Or maybe Gary.
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
As it occurs to me, the maximum penalty for owning a nuke in Chicago is significantly lighter than Virginia's maximum penalty for battery.
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Whoops.
Oct '10
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
One risk of declaring a “nuclear-free zone” is that the nuclei may move out. The Chicago ordinance appears carefully drafted to avoid this tragic outcome.
May '10
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
It's like they say, if you criminalize nuclear weapons, only criminals will have nuclear weapons.
...
Though that was probably already true anyway.
Mar '11
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Mark Wilson
You're right, as Pilli also said, the first controlled nuclear reaction took place in the basement of one of the sports facilities, using Enrico Fermi's "pile", as they called it. · Dec 9 at 9:08am
Yup. It was an unused squash court.
The Mayor before Rahm the Magnificent wanted a no-fly zone to keep the terrorists from crashing into the Sears Tower.
Actually, he just wanted it so he could shut down Meigs' Field, which he did anyway. However, his stated reason was reported straight by the dimwitted Chicago media, who never bothered to ask the question "what precisely is the FAA going to do to a pilot who is already dead?"
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
This makes me wonder how far a city's jurisdiction extends vertically. It's possible that Chicago's anti-nuclear legislation is not protecting it from air-burst initiations, which would likely be the preferred method of attack in the event of a counter-value strike aimed at major populations centers anyway. The National Security Council should immediately look into this flaw in our defense strategy.
Interpreted literally, this could be death to any experimental research in the city of Chicago. "Components of nuclear weapons" is a pretty broad category. Presumably it would stop me from building Plutonium cores in my lab, but what about something mundane, like a sensor which could potentially also be used as a bomb fuse?
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
There's an exemption in the full text of the ordinance exempting both nuclear medicine and "basic research."
Apr '11
Re: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
I notice that transporting through and/or detonating nuclear weapons are not illegal, so terrorists will not have to worry.
Edited on December 11, 2011 at 3:57amRe: Just in Case You Were Wondering...
Seems like one of the jokers we get in these parts could make a central campaign issue out of this: "ONLY thirty days?! I say terrorists should get at least sixty days!"