Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
I'm in Washington D.C. right now. I flew here to visit my grandmother, who is 100 years old and wanted to see me right away. My first thought when I heard that was to say, "Well, that's highly inconvenient, Grandma, given that I'm a journalist. You may not appreciate this, but at this moment in history flying to Washington means flying away from the interesting part of the world. Can't we do this some other time?" My second thought was not so much a thought but a long hot bath in the pure elixir of Jewish guilt. She's 100 years old. So here I am in Washington. As you'll note from the time of this post, though, Turkish Airlines lost my circadian rhythms--I suspect they're circling a luggage carousel in Bora Bora.
Jetlagged Thought, Part 1: Man, no wonder journalists will say any fool thing that pops into their heads about the Middle East when they're in America. The second you arrive here, even if you've spent the past twenty years swearing up and down to everyone who will listen that the rest of the world really exists, it just seems kind of manifestly untrue. When you're in America, the rest of the world seems like a far-away abstraction.
I can't completely account for this, psychologically. It's not just the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean. It's something about the way America feels--like a safe, impregnable fortress. In reality it isn't: I can illustrate that it's extremely vulnerable with a million reasonable, solid arguments. But I can't make myself feel the reality of that when I'm on American soil.
America's an orderly, predictable, reasonable, moderate, seemingly self-contained universe, surrounded by immense oceans, barricaded by armed guards and sniffer dogs, where everyone drives two miles an hour and politely gestures to the other drivers--"You first! No, you!"--with no thought whatsoever to getting anywhere fast or winning. (This is actually utterly maddening: American drivers, where is your honor?)
When you're here, the idea of the existence of whole nations full of crazy people just seems like a peculiar fantasy. Of course people here are willing to be persuaded that the Muslim Brotherhood is something like a Tea Party-soup kitchen hybrid, and what the heck, even if it's not, they deserve a chance just like anyone else and they'll probably settle down once they're in office. That's a completely reasonable hypothesis, from an American point of view. It's not willful stupidity or delusion, it's just extrapolating from experience.
If you're told over and over that the Obama is a radical left-winger and the Tea Partiers are radical right-wingers, when you hear the word "radical" applied to the Muslim Brotherhood, you'll intuitively reach for what you know, which just isn't that radical. America has no real extremes. Everyone here is a moderate. The radicals are either in Supermax prisons or mental hospitals.
That's just obvious, the moment you get off the plane. It's not an argument, it's a feeling, and feelings will always trump arguments when it comes down to it.
The problem is, the feeling's a delusion.
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Oct '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
I think Americans have always been this way. We've always tended towards isolationism, which simply is't possible if you're the largest economy in the world. Economic hyperpower comes with great responsibility and also great danger. . .whether we like it or not.
May '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
"The second you arrive here, even if you've spent the past twenty years swearing up and down to everyone who will listen that the rest of the world really exists, it just seems kind of manifestly untrue. When you're in America, the rest of the world seems like a far-away abstraction."
Because the rest of the world sucks and America's awesome. Proof.
*belch*
May '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Maybe. Maybe not. I have a feeling 19th century Americans were more sophisticated. Sailing, whaling, and trading were a big deal on the East coast and people knew people who had been around the world and brought stuff home. Thoreau's Walden Pond surprised me when I finally read it few years ago by the range of its references, including Hinduism. Melville writes of Queequeg's fasting as Queequeg's Ramadan, and the average American reader was expected to understand. Roosevelt's mother family, the Delanos, had a house in Hong Kong.
After America become #1, Americans sort of lost interest in the world.
Jan '11
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
I've lived in the Baltics for three years and my trips back to the U.S. have given me a very similar feeling. Both of my trips home have left me feeling disoriented (especially at first), and any communication with friends in Europe feels more interplanetary than intercontinental. Claire, I wonder if you've found friends and family in the U.S. to be inexplicably uninterested in what life is like for you in Turkey; or at least only superficially interested. It's not that I expect people to follow me around begging for tales of life in post-Soviet Europe, but there's a startling lack of any questions from most people. It could be a Midwestern thing, of course (I'm from Minnesota).
This is nothing new to Claire, but American expats are granted a perspective on their native land that those who live there from cradle to grave will never have. (Cradle-to-gravers: this might sound like smugness — it's not; it's just a fact.) Mostly I'd say I feel an increased appreciation for it, but some negatives — like the lack of interest in the rest of the world — do stand out.
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Many expats note this with wonderment. It's not a big deal for expats who lead a fairly happy life abroad, but I wonder about the extent to which this exacerbates PTSD in veterans. They must feel that it's difficult to get friends and family really to understand what they've been through. I'm not saying that I understand it, either. But I do understand that it's disorienting and lonely to return and find that you've been living in a hypervivid, 3D reality that isn't all that interesting to your friends and family.
Jul '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
outstripp
Maybe. Maybe not. I have a feeling 19th century Americans were more sophisticated. Sailing, whaling, and trading were a big deal on the East coast and people knew people who had been around the world and brought stuff home. Thoreau's Walden Pond surprised me when I finally read it few years ago by the range of its references, including Hinduism. Melville writes of Queequeg's fasting as Queequeg's Ramadan, and the average American reader was expected to understand. Roosevelt's mother family, the Delanos, had a house in Hong Kong.
After America become #1, Americans sort of lost interest in the world. · Feb 11 at 3:27am
The Delano/Roosevelt fortune was founded on opium. They imported it to the U.S. during the Civil War for the limb amputations administered on a vast scale by military surgeons.
Oct '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
It's been many years since I was a genuine expat, which I see as taking residence in another country for at least six months, although several years would be considered more so. Over the last 15 or so years I have traveled heavily throughout much of the world. It is amazing how seldom acquaintances express any interest at all about other countries.
When I did business in Taliban controlled Afghanistan, pre-911, there simply were never any conversations with any person who, themselves, had not also traveled extensively abroad. Perhaps it is because Americans have become so content in the welfare state that they no longer can entertain the idea that people can go through life having adventurous moments. Great adventures are now found on the travel channel, or you can be a world class cook via the Food Network.
It's the vicarious life for me!
Oct '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Look, the Yankees didn't know the Red Sox even existed until the Sox spanked them in the 2004 postseason. Until the rest of the world beats us after we're up 3-0, it's not a rivalry and they don't exist.
Oct '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
All seriousness aside, I'm a little tired of the mantra that the rest of the world is sophisticated and we Americans are just sheltered, naive hicks. Maybe it's easier for everyone else to be more concerned about the rest of the world, since the rest of the world affects them far more than it affects us. WE, on the other hand, ARE the rest of the (free) world and so we have to spend our time and energy worrying about ourselves, which in turn frees up everyone else to be more "sophisticated" than we are.
Without us, there IS no "rest of the free world."
Aug '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
I am shocked to find out that the Circassians are infiltrating Oceania ! We've got to stop the MB now. Perhaps we should send Clapper to Fiji so he can direct the effort from there, And his wife, dog, and some books, suntan lotion, Dramamine, Zantac, and 2000 ambien.
Jul '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Amen, dittoheadadt. Preach on.
And if We fought wars the way they should be fought most of the Middle East would be a sheet of glass uninhabitable for a million years and We would be more arrogant and would care even less.
Jan '11
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
I would say it's simply that they can't relate to the kind of experiences we've had, but that doesn't explain the almost complete lack of inquisitiveness from close friends and family. Thanks for reminding me of veterans — considering the lack of interest they must experience is humbling and puts my own 'wonderment' into perspective.
@dittoheadadt & Jimmy: It's not the rest of the world is sophisticated and Americans are "sheltered, naive hicks." (My time in Latvia and Estonia has been spent with people who, I'd guess, would be considered unsophisticated by most Americans with a high school education.) But to be proud of your lack of interest in the rest of the world? We conservatives love to cite the Founding Fathers. Do you think they were uninterested in the rest of the world, or thought it had nothing to teach them?
May '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Well said, Claire and dittoheadadt.
We're anything but isolationists. We're the only nation with immigrants from literally every other nation in the world. We do business with the vast majority of them. Our military guards and aids half of them. Unlike multiculturalist nations, we actually demonstrate an interest in local customs, instead of approving them without knowing them.
Americans' extraordinary sense of security is mostly due to our unique geographical defenses (two giant oceans), augmented by our peaceful northern neighbors, and the knowledge that our military is more powerful than any other in history (courtesy of technological entrepreneurism). No living American can recall an enemy force stepping on American soil.
At the same time, because we have been the world's foremost superpower for more than half a century, we have more enemies than any other nation on Earth.
May '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Todd Prouty
But to be proud of your lack of interest in the rest of the world?
People from rural areas understand the value of simplicity. Ignorance is certainly no reason to be proud. But there is no inherent responsibility to be interested in foreign lands and cultures (unless you're a leader).
The anthropologist who roams the world and the football-loving mechanic who plays with his children each have an important role in society. There's no reason one must become more like the other.
Oct '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Todd Prouty
But to be proud of your lack of interest in the rest of the world?
I never said I was proud of my lack of interest in the rest of the world. Neither did I say I was embarrassed by it. Neither did I say I lacked interest in the rest of the world. I'm simply unbothered by what I don't know. Whether my profile is representative of my fellow Americans, I don't know. I'm unbothered by that, too.
What I did say was merely a challenge to the oft-repeated mantra that we're ignorant of the rest of the world while the rest of the world isn't, and I suggested that if we're not as knowledgeable as some amorphous "rest of the world" standard, there's a pretty good reason.
We're too busy safeguarding the rest of the world from tyranny to spend too much time contemplating their navels.
Edited on Feb 11, 2011 at 9:30amOct '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
For example, Todd, what could we learn from studying Latvia and Estonia that would be worth the necessary investment of our time and expense? Conversely, Latvians and Estonians probably can learn a boatload of valuable information by studying America that would be worth the necessary investment of their time and expense.
Maybe if people in the Third World (or parts of the world stuck in the 6th century) spent more time studying America, instead of Americans being chastised for not spending more time studying the Third World...they wouldn't be the Third World. Really, what do they have to teach us? How NOT to do things? We've already aced that test, in most of the important ways.
And maybe I'm just a parochial American.
Aug '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Interesting discussion. I've been an expat for 20 years (I live in Hong Kong; I'm from Iowa) and certainly know what Claire and Todd are talking about.
But I've ceased worrying about it.
First, I realized that although my experiences living overseas seem vivid and concrete to me (because they are), the very scale of the difference in lifestyle I was experiencing made it hard to communicate adequately to someone who'd never been overseas -- too little grounds for real comparison and analogy leave descriptions of a different life sounding abstract and flat. That's why you need a whole novel to get into someone else's world.
Second, I think many -- maybe most -- people just aren't fascinated by novelty, e.g. life overseas. I am, but then that's one reasons I'm an expat. I think it's a question of temperament as much as training. Raycon is right here; lots of people from lots of places are mostly interested in their own worlds and lives.
Todd, you're certainly right that being an expat gives you a different perspective on the USA. But that's another post!
Jan '11
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
... I wonder about the extent to which this exacerbates PTSD in veterans... it's disorienting and lonely to return and find that you've been living in a hypervivid, 3D reality that isn't all that interesting to your friends and family. · Feb 11 at 5:37am
What kind of family isn't interested in a relative's life?
The Bolivars have had difficulty extracting anything out of the veterans in our family. Heck, one of the guys was deployed without even a note to his mother. We were accustomed to his traveling the world for extended periods of time. But Iraq? Geeze! Call a person!
The vets in our family are tight lipped, not because no one has an interest but because they want ... to forget the gore?
I don't know; they won't tell me.
Mr. Tall makes a very good point:
Mr Tall:
... it hard to communicate adequately to someone who'd never been overseas -- too little grounds for real comparison and analogy leave descriptions of a different life sounding abstract and flat. That's why you need a whole novel to get into someone else's world.
[Emphasis mine]
Aug '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
I think what we expats are saying about family 'not being interested' is easily misconstrued.
My family members are of course happy to see me, and want to hear how things are going, and I suspect Claire's and Todd's are the same. But it is very, very hard to sustain deep interest in someone else's experiences if you don't share a common base of experience and cultural references to provide an unspoken foundation for your conversations.
Ordinarily, a close family shares so much esoteric backstory that conversation is easy, and they follow at least some of the same sports, TV shows, and so on. But when one member moves overseas, those shared narratives are broken, and it's much harder to sustain the kind of deep communication we all crave.
Think of it this way: what is your tolerance for watching one of your relatives' vacation videos or photo slideshows? Maintaining interest in someone's explanations of expat life can be very similar.
Aug '10
Re: Jetlagged Thoughts: Part 1
I should clarify one point: I don't mean that an expat and his family no longer share the family backstory up to the point the move overseas is made; we're not required to have Men in Black memory wipes!
But once you move overseas, your day-to-day trials and tribulations are different from your family's. For example, my wife and I went through a period when our attention was consumed with what school our daughter would attend here in Hong Kong. It sounds as if that would be a good topic for conversation -- hey, everybody's interested in schools these days! -- but the context and crucial details here are so different from those in the States that when we tried to communicate this to US family and friends, we found ourselves explaining, then explaining some more, then backing up and adding a few points of necessary clarification -- you see what I mean. It's quickly boring for both sides, and can certainly leave one feeling dissatisfied with the depth of conversation.