It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
We all have stories like this. I used to get on my bike on Saturday and ride it around all day. Kids would take the city bus or subway to school. Kids would roam around in packs. Kids would play in the street until it got dark. Kids were free.
The contrast between then and now is pretty stark. From the MailOnline:
When George Thomas was eight he walked everywhere.
It was 1926 and his parents were unable to afford the fare for a tram, let alone the cost of a bike and he regularly walked six miles to his favourite fishing haunt without adult supervision.
Fast forward to 2007 and Mr Thomas's eight-year-old great-grandson Edward enjoys none of that freedom.
He is driven the few minutes to school, is taken by car to a safe place to ride his bike and can roam no more than 300 yards from home.
This can't be a good development, can it? Is the world really that much more dangerous, or are we paranoid and fearful and raising up a generation of terrified children?
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Comments:
Jul '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
The real world is unquestionably more dangerous. First their are legions of distracted drivers compared to 1926. Second the utter decay in morality has unleashed a far higher number of predators upon our society. When we do catch predators we may or may not incarcerate them and certainly do not keep them long.
Aug '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
Obligatory link to Lenore Skenazy's Free Range Kids site.
Aug '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
In fact, statistics do not bear this out. There's actually less crime today than there was when we were growing up. The difference is that with the 24-hour news cycle, we hear about it far more frequently, and it gives us the illusion that there's more of it.
From the link above:
Edited on February 6, 2012 at 11:34pmMay '10
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
I am as guilty as anyone.
But when I was a child a neighborhood was really a neighborhood. We all knew each other and we all knew that the guy in the big grey house down the street liked pre-teenaged boys more than he liked women. And we all stayed away. If the guy in the big grey house tried to talk any of us into coming inside we all had four or five safe havens we could run to.
Nobody had air conditioning so all the windows were open and a good scream would bring a half dozen stay-at-home moms out on their porches in a heartbeat.
Now there are fewer moms at home. The windows are sealed tight and nobody wants to get involved.
Aug '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
I think we are just paranoid but it's the what if that stops us from letting the kids roam; just like insurance.
Apr '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
I am working on being a "bad parent" by sending my kids out as much as possible without adult supervision. I have a 12 year old boy and 9 year old daughter. We live in Northern California near a large park. When my kids were 11 and 8 they took the dog for a walk to the park and were held by the county park ranger until my wife picked them up. The Ranger claimed kids below the age of 14 are not supposed to be in the park alone. (Ranger was wrong – no age limit).
This past Christmas, we set them loose in Target to shop while my wife and I were in another store. They kept getting stopped by employees asking where there parents were. I asked a manager what the age policy at Target is and he said there is not one. They just keep a look out for kids that seem lost.
My point: even when you try and neglect your children, current societal norms make it difficult to let them roam free.
Edited on February 6, 2012 at 11:27pmMay '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
The world may be dangerous, but the real story is that we've turned into wimps. There were predators out there when I was a kid (the term of art was "molesters" back then), but that didn't keep us from biking down to the river to fish off the pier or selling Girl Scout cookies on our own, door-to-door.
I read a good book on this last year: Ten Ways To Destroy The Imagination of Your Child by Anthony Esolen. He's also the done the most recent Modern Library translation of Dante's Divine Comedy, as well as The Politically Incorrect Guide to Western Civilization. Maybe we could get him on a podcast, or get a guest post from him.
Nov '10
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
My friends and I also roamed free as children.
It might be a more dangerous today, but probably the biggest difference is in the reporting and culture. If a child was molested in the 1950's the whole matter would surely be hushed up. The word 'rape' was never mentioned, homosexuals were unseen, and deviancy was thoroughly suppressed and repressed. I was 12 years old before I heard the f-word and didn't know what it meant for several months thereafter.
Also, the sheer throngs of kids would deter most deviants.
Of course, the Calvinist settlement of Grand Rapids, Michigan was not typical, even then I suppose.
Jan '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
No it is NOT more dangerous. Data gathering has produced more data which distorts truth. Statistics that indicate an increase in head trauma while riding bikes sells helmets. IMO there is no increase in head injuries there is an increase in documented "injuries".
I blame MS Excel & Access (remember dBASE III) for the flood of "data" that is sold as knowledge.
Aug '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
My wife is a little more skittish about letting the kids range freely than I am. Though I admit that the first time I sent our then five-year-old around the block on her bike by herself, I was as nervous as my five-year-old was delighted at this seeming freedom. So for the sake of both of us, I sent her around again, and I paced the driveway, waiting for her return.
But my goal is to make sure my kids feel confident -- not fearful -- walking through their world. They get enough fear messages from everyone else. I'm not going to add to that.
Last summer I took the kids (then 7 and 6) to a playground three blocks away and left them there to play while I ran to the convenience store -- three more blocks away. They thought that was pretty cool. My wife did not. So I promised not to do it again.
But from the time they were able to ride bikes, we've taken bike trips to the library and back (at least a mile away -- probably more) because I want them to become familiar with their "turf."
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
The most haunting news story of the past year was of that little Hasidic child in Brooklyn who was abducted while walking just a few blocks home from school. I don't have children, but horrific stories like this don't make it likely that I'd ever let my hypothetical young children walk around on their own.
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
It's actually safer now. But media coverage understandably gives people the opposite impression. A great resource on this is Lenore Skenazy, who writes on Free Range parenting.
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
Diane,
The key is to remember that millions of children weren't abducted. And you have to balance the humongous benefits of being permitted to engage the great outdoors and the neighborhoods that surround them vs. the approaching-zero risk that a monster is lurking.
I'm not saying I do this well -- although my kids are young -- but I try to think of the benefits vs. risk. I mean, many, many, many more children die in car accidents than are abducted by neighbors. Many more children are injured in cars. But do we not drive with our children every day?
Mar '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
The world is far more dangerous than it used to be. Take for instance the fact that today's child will starve without a snack every 11 minutes. At least I think that's a fact.... anyway, I'm not willing to risk it.
Aug '10
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
I think the media has found something and won't let it go, even if it's injurious to society as a whole ( imagine that !). The 24 hour news cycle requires a "dead blonde of the week" . With the endless Natalee Holloway stories, Scott Peterson, and whatever other monster was spawned by the OJ phenom, they wakened a craven journalist class ready to keep a scared America awake .
When certain journos attempt to read real news, I am afraid that Greta and Geraldo and some others have no credibility left. But they sell more soap with dirt, or ADT and guns with homebound terror.
And then there is the giant growth of the advocacy field. I figured that advocate meant "unemployed lawyer", but they are everywhere now.
The past ? I say things were less pornographic then, but then sex before college was probably the exception rather than the rule. With moral relativism combined with schools passing out condoms, they have led many into the dark forest of lust and sexual desires, some of which aren't particularly healthy.
Public education and the media are big culprits here. Circles back to PC .
Edited on February 6, 2012 at 11:43pmJul '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
I just don't agree somehow in my gut but accept the kidnapping stats as invalidating my gut. Maybe growing up in a town with one stoplight altered my thoughts but spending the last 20 years seeing child abuse, rapes, beatings, pedophilia and all sorts of horror in ER's, hospitals and outpatient settings reflects the loss of any youthful idealism I had. I am not a helicopter parent but I sure do not let my 9 yr old roam. My 16 yr old has free range but he can defend himself well. Kidnappings are one issue but there are many other problems a lone preteen can encounter out and about.
May '10
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
This is a huge part of it I think. And the advancement of technology and media availability had helped usher this in. We can all get the internet in our bathrooms now if we want. We're so connected to everything "media", that we no longer have interest in being connected with each other. We don't trust the people we don't know. But instead of getting out and meeting people and making a neighborhood, we sit inside and let the news tell us what's happening outside our front window.
Now if you'll excuse me, nature calls... as does my email.
Jun '10
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
Things I did as a child:
* Biked without a helmet.
* Carried a pocketknife to school.
* Went fishing in a rowboat without a life preserver.
* Played in every imaginable attractive nuisance from open manholes to abandoned swimming pools.
* Collected bottles from construction sites to earn pocket change.
* Built tree houses with lumber "borrowed" from construction sites.
* Owned a BB gun.
Things have not changed for the better.
Jan '11
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
Kids today are under house arrest. They are forced to have siblings as best friends, unless there are "play-dates". There was a study done in England about intergenerational roaming - today's kids have the backyard, people my age had the city block, and the generation before was about a mile IIRC
May '10
Re: It's 2012. Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Yes. They're Not Allowed Out.)
Three words from my teen-hood in the 80's: Bottle Rocket Wars. And we didn't need no steenking safety goggles...