Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
In the latest edition of Radio Free Delingpole, I discuss with my old Oxford mucker Toby Young the bizarre disappointment that is yet another of our old Oxford muckers - British prime minister David Cameron. How could someone from the most brilliant Oxford generation in the university's entire near-1000-year history - and a notional conservative to boot - have made such a dreadful hash of running Britain, possibly eclipsing even his unlamented predecessor Gordon Brown in total ruddy awfulness?
As Toby and I show, before getting distracted by the much more interesting subject of Game Of Thrones, there is no easy answer to this. But since then an explanation has occurred to me - prompted by one of the readers on my Telegraph blog (H/T coming your way as soon as you remind me who you are). When you think about it the answer is obvious and has been staring us in the face all along: David Cameron is a Soviet double agent.
This will no doubt strike a chord with US readers - since it's highly likely that President Obama is a Soviet double agent too. The left's Manchurian Candidate, indeed. But enough of that depressing subject, I want to tell you more about my Cameron conspiracy theory.
Here is what we know, as admitted by Cameron last year on a visit to Russia:
In a speech at Moscow State University, the Prime Minister said: "I first came to Russia as a student on my gap year between school and university in 1985.
"I took the Trans-Siberian Railway from Nakhodka to Moscow and went on to the Black Sea coast.
"There, two Russians - speaking perfect English - turned up on a beach mostly used by foreigners.
"They took me out to lunch and dinner and asked me about life in England and what I thought about politics.
"When I got back I told my tutor at university and he asked me whether it was an interview.
"If it was, it seems I didn't get the job!"
All right, so the Soviet system is theoretically dead. But old loyalties die hard. And the clincher, for me, is what happened next.
In a joint press conference later, Mr Medvedev said: "I'm pretty sure that David would have been a very good KGB agent.
"But in this case he would never have become Prime Minister of the UK."
No, of course not Mr Medvedev. Perish the thought.
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Comments:
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Mad, of course, but the pieces...do rather fit, don't they?
One correction, though, James: Yours was the second-most brilliant generation at Oxford. (I leave it to you to decide which generation took first place, but if you guessed the generation to which Paul Rahe and I belonged, you wouldn't be wrong.)
Edited on May 25, 2012 at 8:18pmRe: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
@peterrobinson - You produced fewer dire politicians. I concede your point.
Aug '10
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
I propose this becomes the new metric for measuring quality in other aspects of life. For example, which profession produces the most politicians, and is therefore the worst? Which majors produce the fewest politicians, and are therefore superior?
Mar '11
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Outstanding podcast, as always, James - I especially liked your concise explanation of the Australian political scene.
Your (or, rather, your commenter's) theory would explain why Mr Obama and Mr Cameron get on so well. But I just can't buy it (in Mr Cameron's case - Mr Obama is a slam-dunk).
Mr Cameron's incompetence has other, deeper, roots - but I'm not sure anyone has figured 'em out, yet. Occam's razor would suggest that he is simply incompetent, which is why he failed the KGB interview.
The sad thing is, the next election in the UK will most likely bring back a real Socialist government, rather than one that just acts like one.
Edited on May 25, 2012 at 8:26pmApr '11
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Peter Robinson: Mad, of course, but the pieces...do rather fit, don't they?
One correction, though, James: Yours was the second-most brilliant generation at Oxford. (I leave it to you to decide which generation took first place, but if you guessed the generation to which Paul Rahe and I belonged, you wouldn't be wrong.) · 2 hours ago
Edited 52 minutes ago
How far back does your generation go? My father graduated a few years before y'all (1970), but the term is ambiguous enough that I can't be sure if you're being insightful or not.
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Peter, keep in mind that Bill Clinton was in my generation at Oxford-- he left just before I arrived -- and E. J. Dionne and Franklin Raines were there with me (as was Rowan Williams). We have a lot to answer for.
James, the thesis of your post reminds me of a piece that I once wrote suggesting that Barack Obama was a Manchurian Candidate fostered and foisted on the Democratic Party by that evil genius Karl Rove.
Jun '10
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
James, I don't think our beloved C-in-C would be particularly suited for the role of a double agent.
After all, the skill of the double agent is in not espousing the doctrine of one master while in the house of the other, and yet furthering it.
When Candidate Obama proffered that "redistribution is good for everyone," he played his hand ju-u-u-ust a bit too openly.
So we obliged him - we hired an open Soviet agent who has no cold, in from which he must come.
Feb '11
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
So David Cameron went to the Soviet Union and inevitably came into contact with KGB people who interviewed him. This is the basis for thinking he was a Soviet agent? You couldn't go to the Soviet Union without talking to KGB people or having them overhear you. I spent a month there in my teens, and believe me they wanted nothing to do with me. Far too unreliable. The reason Cameron is a disappointment is that he is an upper class Tory with the spine of every other upper class Tory I've ever known and not some Soviet mole a la Kim Philby or the rest of the five.
And what's this bit about you are disappointed by David Cameron? I've been reading (and enjoying) your DT blog for far too long -- years before you came here to Ricochet -- to give any credence to that statement. David Cameron has turned out just as you thought if your blog is to be believed. & I do still maintain Romney will be far different from Cameron. Though I will totally concede I could be wrong. I think he is much more conservative than Bush ever was.
Mar '11
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
John le Carré, call your office.
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Paul A. Rahe: Peter, keep in mind that Bill Clinton was in my generation at Oxford-- he left just before I arrived -- and E. J. Dionne and Franklin Raines were there with me (as was Rowan Williams). We have a lot to answer for.
· 2 hours ago
Quite right, Paul, and come to think of it, strictly speaking I belong to the generation between yours and James's, having gone done from Christ Church in 1981. Clinton was long gone by then, but Brother James was still learning the alphabet.
Christ Church, as you'll have been well aware, was affectionately known as the "House." A favorite cheer of the boat club during those halcyon days when I was in the bow position in the first XVIII: "Give me an 'H.' Give me an 'I.' Give me a 'C.' Give me an 'E.' What's that spell?" Whereupon we would all roar our reply in our best Bertie Wooster accent.
Ah, me. You can see why Margaret Thatcher believed England needed to be given a good shaking up.
Edited on May 25, 2012 at 11:25pmMar '11
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Peter - I'm pretty sure Mrs Thatcher didn't have the Oxford rowing team in mind - more the Unions.
The England that you remember is still there, barely - I go in search of it every time I return.
Oct '11
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Amusing speculation about Cameron, but in the absence of some more plausible motive than Soviet loyalty I think even James would agree he's merely a particularly clownish Eurodrone, if you could only catch him in a serious frame of mind. (James, I mean. Cameron is always seriously challenged.) If his position didn't afford him a driver, he'd surely have run over himself by now.
Our president is another matter. It's easy to make the case that no matter his evident ineptitude, he is intent on wrecking our country. Perhaps he's motivated by the simple Cloward-Piven calculation that the left will pick up the pieces after the crash. Perhaps the real dream from his father is the punishment of the colonizing west. Either suffices as a plausible motive, and there's plenty of evidence for both.
Ed Klein says he's merely an amateur; that he really believes the tripe he spouts and actually intends to govern for the good of the country as he sees it. I disagree, but I'm in the minority.
What say you?
Feb '12
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
I'm reminded of the Yes, Prime Minister episode "One of Us" where there is some speculation that Sir Humphrey Appleby (Minister of the Cabinet) is a spy.
"I can't be a spy! I never even went to Cambridge!"
Feb '12
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Soviet Foreign Intelligence Service was really among the best in the world. They used the combination of romantic ideology; often staging and then blackmailing of vice; and old-fashioned bribery to get Westerners to work for USSR. They were able to penetrate high levels of governments by recruiting numerous "rising stars" of politics and academia in their formative years. Not too many people remember that resignation of Willie Brandt was due to spy scandal as well.
Obviously, just like many other areas of post-Soviet Russia, foreign intelligence is just another way to "appropriate" money. Anna Chapman and her band of imbeciles is a prime example.
But... when do you say did Gordon Brown meet those two Russians speaking perfect English on a beach mostly used by foreigners?
Edited on May 27, 2012 at 2:35amOct '10
Re: Is David Cameron a Soviet Sleeper Agent?
Is this a joke?