In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Rob Long ·
Jul 11, 2010 at 12:41pm
I've tried to be patient with Claire and her 1001 cats. But, really, can I get a ruling here? Cats, while furry and mewlish, don't have the character or the nobility or the dependable courage to qualify as Best Friend. At best, they're glorified hamsters.
Dogs, on the other hand, are morally and spiritually better than most people.
Rebecca Frankel, over at Foreign Policy, has a great series of posts entitled "War Dog of the Week." I'd like to see Claire's cats do anything even half as useful, or half as heroic.
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May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
I have a cat instead of a dog, but would gladly play both sides of the eternal Cats vs. Dogs conflict if I had a fenced yard and more free time.
That said, I wouldn't want a cat by my side in a combat zone. Every loud noise, the cat's halfway up your leg. Every time you need a hand, the cat's scowling down at you from the nearest rooftop. This is all assuming, of course, you could drag a feline away from its Bill Clinton impression, enjoying a pile of catnip in some sunny window!
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
I will agree with your point about dogs. When I was robbed and getting the holy crap beat out of me in a bad part of St. Louis not a single person helped me. After being drug by my throat the length of my apartment building and into the back alley, a German Shepherd jumped the neighbor's six foot fence and launched himself into the guy. It was the only thing that saved me from the powerful stranger who was raging (physically and verbally) a lifetime of racial hatred on me. The second shock to my system was when the police asked the Iranian eye-witness why he just watched the whole thing he said, "I thought she was his wife". I love dogs.
Jun '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Actually, cats could serve as high-ranking officers. You've heard the old saying, "A dog has a master, a cat has a staff."
Rob: Perhaps you could get your NR colleague to weigh in--I know he's on the dog side of this argument.
Jun '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
My bad. I meant your NR colleague Jonah Goldberg.
Jul '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
My childhood cat took on all interlopers, regardless of size, with a fierceness that rivaled any pit bull and was a far better mouser than any dog I have run across. She cornered a raccoon four times her size in our basement. When I finally managed to neutralize her, the raccoon bolted for the open door, leaving a trail of blood. Others were not so lucky.
Clearly Rob needs to run with a higher grade of cat.
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
I was about to rise gamely to the bait until I saw Andrea's comment. Andrea, that's shocking and terrible. There's nothing funny anyone can say about it. I'm sorry that happened to you.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Andrea, ditto what Claire said. Good lord. Sorry.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
And now on to a cat insult (er, observation): If cats were big enough, they would eat their owners. Deep down all cat owners know this to be true, but we can't expect them to admit it here.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
A wise friend put it succinctly: Dogs are Republican pets; Cats are Democrat pets. It's true on so many levels.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
I am an Army Reserve Public Affairs NCO. Last year in Iraq I can tell you from experience, the working dogs are our low-hanging fruit. Their stories are the most widely read, the photos are the most widely picked up and the video is the most widely used. If we had working cats in Iraq, they would just run under our trailer housing when the rockets hit the FOBs.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Don't forget. Cats catch rats. This is nothing to be sniffed at in many parts of the world.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
No, Claire, it was a while ago and a lesson learned. Please, move on and be funny! I just thought it was a perfect story to share since what that German Shepherd did for me was extraordinary. But, I didn't mean to be a killjoy to the conversation...and I really want to see you take on Rob. :-) I would love to hear about your martial arts training, though. I have been studying a form of self-defense developed and used by the Israeli military. It's pretty cool stuff.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
I'm laughing at Scott's and Tom's cat jokes, but I can't bring myself to diss cats. I had a big, fat Tom cat I rescued years ago that was the absolutely coolest animal I think I've ever owned. He wasn't afraid of anything and every non-cat person I introduced him to begrudgingly loved him. And, my last two cats had way more personality than my Irish Wolfhound, God love him, and I swear they talked to each other. One of my kitties used to want to be with me 24/7 and she used to stroke my face with her paws. She was a pretty cool friend. My other cat used to try to smack the basketball when I had college games on TV. She's the one that walked around talking to the other cat all day.
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Krav Maga, Andrea? Well, I can promise you this: If Adam thinks the "Which pet is the best" debate is low-hanging fruit, just wait until the "Which martial art is the best" debate gets going. Anyway, that blog is the place to learn about my martial-arts training, but if you read it through, you'll see that at a certain point, life forced me to come to a very sad but important conclusion.
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
I don't know if dogs are Republican pets, but I don't think they're Republicans. They're sort of utopians, Buddhists, that kind of thing. They don't have complicated desires; they don't worry about Tuesday. They're patient and they don't hold grudges. They're happy to fit in where they fit in, and not terribly entrepreneurial. They're not liberals, of course -- dogs hate the whole notion of redistributing anything -- but they work well together, know how to follow orders, and are tireless and courageous. They're loyal Buddhist monarchists, if you get my meaning.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Well, some dogs are liberals: One of our three dogs is a greyhound named Flo. She's completely unassertive in the morning food competition, so we've come to feed her by hand, which she's now dependent on. She sleeps all day long, on her back, tongue hanging out, legs straight up in the air--roaching, we call it. And oh yes, Flo was retired from racing before she ever actually, you know, raced; she just never saw the point.
A hand-fed, all-day sleeper who retired early after an unproductive life. Thank God she can't vote.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Yes, that's it, Claire. What do you think of it? My instructor is a big 6'5" police officer and is awesome at teaching me how to use my almost 6 feet in height and arm length. That's always the most awkward part for me. Your "sad but important" link is the other piece to my training. Tactical shooting. I absolutely love it...and, it's something I can beat the men at. I secretly love that even more. :-)
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
In Chicago she can.
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
She sounds like my Irish Wolfhound. But, add to it running away from every sound that scared him. :-)
Scott Reusser: Well, some dogs are liberals: One of our three dogs is a greyhound named Flo. She's completely unassertive in the morning food competition, so we've come to feed her by hand, which she's now dependent on. She sleeps all day long, on her back, tongue hanging out, legs straight up in the air--roaching, we call it. And oh yes, Flo was retired from racing before she ever actually, you know, raced; she just never saw the point.
A hand-fed, all-day sleeper who retired early after an unproductive life. Thank God she can't vote. · Jul 12 at 6:03am
May '10
Re: In the War Against Terror, Dogs are Heroes, Cats are Draft Dodgers
Dogs are made for frontal assaults. Cats excel at special ops.
Dogs maul. Cats pounce.
Dogs walk the perimeter and sniff out danger. Cats perform reconaissance and stakeouts.
A bird in a cage is the animal equivalent of a fire alarm. Ferrets and weasels are administrators, filing away our possessions without permission but surely for a noble cause. Hamsters, mice and other rodents perform maintenance in the walls and plumbing. Snakes are the managers who feed on grunt employees, never seem to be around when you're looking for them, and engage in gross mischief when out of sight. Goats are groundskeepers (lawnmowers). And so on. Every animal has a role to play.