"If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
An indication that something's definitely wrong with society.
“There’s a sense that it’s not cool to get married and have kids right out of college. But if you just ‘get pregnant,’ you don’t face society’s judgment. If anything, it becomes kind of heroic: ‘Wow, what a sacrifice. She made the choice to raise her baby!’”
The quotation above comes from a Glamour Magazine article entitled "Are You Playing Baby Roulette?" The article describes the ambivalence and fatalism with which many young American women approach the subject of having children out of wedlock.
"This laissez-faire attitude about the life-changing act of becoming a mother may seem shocking, but it's far from unusual," Glamour author Michelle Stacey writes. That "laissez-faire attitude" does not bode well for our Republic, friends. Nor do things look so bright for the future of conservatism; a message that depends on the underlying assumption that personal responsibility, fiscal sanity, and the preservation of our social mores and institutions are all well worth pursuing, is a surefire loser with a demographic of Americans who have already willfully traded in personal autonomy for a bowl of beans.
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Comments:
May '11
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
Just read the Glamour article; this is extremely scary. What's interesting is that the article cites a study showing "that young women have a strong longing for motherhood: More than half of them said they would like to be a mom right now 'if things in their life were different.'" Which in one sense is good, because it shows the feminist hostility to femininity has not completely taken over. The article also notes the pattern of delayed marriage and the expectations that women be focused on a career. So society is sending a mixed message: celebs with babies are cool, but early marriage is not. The culture doesn't seem to do much to encourage young people to get from A, single life, to B, family life, if they want children.
Jun '10
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
If you're trying to turn the child into a good and responsible adult, you welcome the help of a good husband. But if you're just trying to be the child's best friend, you maybe don't want competition from a fun-loving dad. It depends on the goal.
Jun '10
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
I hated how pregnant teens in my day were shamed and shunned. But why have we moved to the extreme opposite, where baby showers and special high school yearbook sections celebrate the unfortunate timing of these pregnancies? Why did we blast right past adoption as a wonderful choice for both teen mom, her baby, and the grateful family who recieves this wonderful gift?
May '11
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
As I understand it, at one time, if you got pregnant out of wedlock, and your family did not get the father to marry you, if you had the baby and kept it, there were serious downsides to this choice, one was you and your child would have trouble financially, and society as a whole would be unkind. I'm not saying this was right, but there were repercussions to this kind of behavior, and not just for the woman, but the man as well. Since the government has stepped in to become "the baby's papa" the financial aspect has been much less of a negative, and over time, the moral aspect of this choice has also changed. The breakdown of the two parent family is a very real problem. The only answer I have is to remove the financial plus, which I admit will be hard to do, but why should we all pay for choices that these single mothers to be make? Other than that, all I can offer is to do my best to lead by example and be a good father and husband.
Domo
Jun '10
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
I agree but would add another point about the role of the biological father. When I grew up, if a guy got a girl pregnant the societal expectation was that he would marry the girl and give the child a father and a name. That was because procreation had a moral dimension that no longer exists. In 1960, 1 of 20 American children was born out of wedlock--now it's 2 of 5.
The existential implications of that simple statistic on our society are incalculable. We are and will continue to reap the whirlwind.
Edited on September 13, 2011 at 6:22pmJun '10
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
Tabula, I know a few shotgun wedding couples who, 30+ years later, are happy and enjoying grandchildren. Maybe it's because I come from the land of old foggies, but today it seems the likelihood of the pregnancy occuring in a relationship are slim. The one night stand, promiscuous culture produces pregnancies in which the gal can't name the father until a DNA test is completed. Those circumstances are not the foundation for a healthy marriage.
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
From the Glamour article, which was based on a Fog Zone study:
Mar '11
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
We have moved far, far beyond wrong:
Katrina Effert was 19 on April 13, 2005, when she secretly gave birth in her parents’ home, strangled the baby boy with her underwear and threw the body over a fence into a neighbour’s yard…
Effert will have to abide by conditions for the next three years but she won’t spend time behind bars for strangling her newborn son.
As Mr. Steyn writes, we now have fourth-trimester abortion:
As Judge Joanne Veit puts it:
“While many Canadians undoubtedly view abortion as a less than ideal solution to unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancy, they generally understand, accept and sympathize with the onerous demands pregnancy and childbirth exact from mothers, especially mothers without support,” she writes… “Naturally, Canadians are grieved by an infant’s death, especially at the hands of the infant’s mother, but Canadians also grieve for the mother.”
Jun '10
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
I think you are likely right. We have, for most, removed all moral dimension from procreation; even more so, sexual relations not only are not within the scope of morality, it's no longer even necessary to know the name of one's sex partner. It has, for far too many, become pure animal behavior.
I too am aware of many very successful marriages that occurred because of a pregnancy. But in each case, the couple were in what we would today call "a committed relationship." Back in the day, they were "going steady."
Edited on September 13, 2011 at 7:15pmAug '11
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
Who are we talking about here? If we're talking about women who, by education and profession, are capable of supporting and raising a child on their own, that would be one thing.
But the truth is that the overwhelming number of women who have children out of wedlock are not Murphy Brown. They're the sort of single mothers who, even if they manage to hold down some sort of job, still rely upon taxpayers for the bulk of their sustenance.
What the article doesn't say is that even people who make poor decisions are still economic actors, and they reckon that they can go ahead and have babies at someone else's expense.
Problem is, those adorable little subsidized babies become tomorrow's feral youth.
Jun '10
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
"... if the pregnancy was unplanned, the odds that you’ll part ways roughly doubles."
Surprised it's not higher.
Young people should be taught to assume that every time they have sex, regardless of precautions taken, they could very well be beginning a pregnancy. There is no such thing as "safe sex," and the push to create that idea in sex ed classrooms has been tragic. Precautions taken to prevent pregnancy or STDs have created "safer" sex. But not absolutely safe sex.
Tabula, doesn't "going steady" sound so quaint? I want to break out singing the Bye Bye Birdie soundtrack right about now.
Jun '10
Re: "If You Just ‘Get Pregnant,’ You Don’t Face Society’s Judgment"
StickerShock:
Tabula, doesn't "going steady" sound so quaint? I want to break out singing the Bye Bye Birdie soundtrack right about now. · Sep 13 at 10:27am
Usually the "going steady" status (if you were a senior) was commemorated by the guy giving the girl his school ring to wear. Getting it back after a break-up was a complex source of social difficulty (direct request? third party asks girl? third party asks another third party?). [Kind of like Middle East negotiations and strategy].
Social rituals seemed so much more innocent. [Feeling major nostalgia rush right now].
Edited on September 13, 2011 at 7:44pm