If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
I am a not-quite-recovered Amazon.com addict. To whatever extent I have achieved it, the recovery was brought about not by any actual desire to slow the pace of my one-click purchases, but rather by marriage and the need to limit my library to such a level that my wife and child are no longer endangered by the great piles of books that once rose precariously from any horizontal surface that would hold them, and that threatened to crush anyone caught nearby whenever a bus or truck rumbled by our home.
But I still buy books from Amazon from time to time, and my most recent purchase was a guilt-free one in that it was a title the Divine Mrs. Dunphy wanted to read as well, the new Dick Cheney memoir, In My Time. I ordered it on Friday Sept. 2, and Amazon and the Postal Service cooperated to have it in our mailbox the following Tuesday, the day after Labor Day. Well done.
I like to read the customer reviews on the Amazon site, though when it comes to political books they’re worthwhile more for their own intrinsic entertainment value than for any real guidance they might offer on whether or not to buy the book. And when it comes to Cheney’s book, they were often hilarious.
At the time of this writing there were 88 customer reviews for In My Time. Forty-one reviewers rated it boffo with five stars while 34 panned it and gave it only one. The rest were somewhere in the middle. Cheney is a polarizing figure, so it’s no surprise that the reviews broke down as they did. What was surprising was how many people just couldn’t wait to give the book a bad review, even to the point that reading it was a formality easily dispensed with. Nine of the one-star reviews were posted on Aug. 30, indicating that those people somehow got hold of a copy, read through all 576 pages, then sat down at the keyboard and posted their scathing notices on the very day the book was published. Quite an accomplishment.
What’s more, some reviewers seem to have made a hobby of ripping conservative authors. For example, someone who goes by the handle Tricky Nicky has posted 23 reviews, every one of them on a book by a conservative author and every one of them a screed on how dreadful both the author and the book are. “After reading this book,” he or she writes about In My Time, “it's clear to me that Dick Cheney is a sociopath and a megalomaniac. There isn't a hell hot enough for this sorry excuse of a man to burn in.” Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and many others are described in similar terms, as is Mark Steyn, though for some reason – perhaps a technical glitch or an inadvertent mouse click – his book earned five stars from Tricky Nicky.
But not all the reviewers of Cheney’s book were so uniformly harsh on their Amazon purchases. Someone calling herself Love to Sew (we can presume she’s a woman) called Cheney “the Evil One” while giving his book one star, but she was much more pleased with another Amazon find: She gave four stars to the Exquisite Form Women's Front Close Cotton Posture Bra, in white, size 42DD. It’s “comfortable and doesn’t chafe,” she says, for which we can all congratulate her. The bra doesn’t chafe, but as far as Love to Sew is concerned, Dick Cheney does.
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Comments:
Jun '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
This isn't new, and it's not even remotely political. Plenty of people post reviews (both positive and negative) of things they haven't read/bought/used/experienced, often posting them before they're even available, and often posting them admitting they don't know what they're talking about. For an existence proof, try checking out video game reviews, for instance; you'll see them posted before the game is even available. Welcome, it's called the Internet.
Jul '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Up is down, left is right, bad is good. If no one hated Dick Cheney it would be because our country was a smoldering ruin. I am glad he is tough enough to take it, even though he shouldn't have to.
Edited on September 10, 2011 at 10:12pmNov '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Have enjoyed a similar experience. Three cheers for Amazon and my mailman!
Dec '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
I'm lucky enough to live near the main book warehouse and receive them the day after shipment even using standard snail mail.
Aug '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Somehow Coulter and Steyn tend not to make it to the shelves in my local bookshops (maybe they need the space for all the Chomskys). I did get both of Palin's books there and I must check out if Darth Vader is in or out. The point is without Amazon the Irish conservative would have very limited access to the treasure trove.
May '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
But that is why Amazon sell Kindles. My wonderful wife gave me one for Christmas, and I already have saved two full shelves-worth of space. Plus, with their wonderful "Kindle Cloud Reader", I can even read on my locked-down work PC if I have left my Kindle somewhere else. Problem is, all the US political books come out later on the UK Kindle store (if they are released there at all).
Jun '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
It apppears we have identified the woman who paid Mr. Yoo a visit -- 42DD? It's Love to Sew!
Feb '11
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
There's one exception to this. On the iTunes store, in the apps section at least, you are not able to post a review of an item which you haven't purchased. The same does not hold true for movies & music, since you can hear that elsewhere. For the apps, though, you have to have bought it to review it.
Dec '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Jack - thank you for sharing this news. I'l rest much more comfortably tonight knowing that Love To Sew's "girls" are supported comfortably with no chafing. Good stuff!
Sep '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
For chafe free reading I recommend the Kindle.
Jan '11
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
It's like being in the spin room after a debate. You know that every "camp" is going to say that their guy "hit it out of the park." Those are just perfunctory preliminaries that are best gotten out of the way quickly.
Aug '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Further to my above post I can confirm purchase of Cheney's book at one of my local stores today.That will make it about number 9 in my to-read list, along with Bush, Blair, Melanie Phillips,both Palins,a Woodward and sundry others.
May '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
It's remarkable that so many manage to acquire titles, read them, and post reviews, all on the same day said book is released by the publisher! I have wondered if there are many "paid reviewers" positioned to type in their reviews expressly to generate negative buzz. Perhaps some even earn a little extra cash from the likes of Andy Stern or Richard Trumka...
Apr '11
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
I noticed this when I bought Donald Rumsfeld's book on Amazon. Many people admitted to not reading it but said it's a terrible book by a terrible man. It's like creating a restaurant review that says "I hate Chinese food and wouldn't eat it no matter who cooked it, so don't eat at the Mandarin Palace."
Oct '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
I hate reading about things like this, though they sadly are nothing new. Reviews of controversial books become almost a heated ranting "debate" between supporters of the author and people who hate the author.
As someone who posts fair and (I think, anyway) well-written reviews to Amazon, it paints me with the same broad brush because that's all people think of when they think "Amazon Reviewer"
Mar '11
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Simply more confirmation Mr. Dunphy that an online review of any product is worth exactly how much you paid for it.
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
But that is why Amazon sell Kindles. My wonderful wife gave me one for Christmas . . .
My own wonderful wife gave me a Kindle for Christmas a few years ago. I have it loaded with lots of great reading, but I confess I still prefer the feel of a real book.
Aug '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
All discussion of reviews on Amazon begin and end with The Mountain Three Wolf Short Sleeve Tee. Read those reviews and see how it is done! Hours of entertainment.
On a serious note, it never ceases to amaze me how many people use the democratic review system at Amazon in order to write screeds against things they have never read. This applies to both sides of the aisle, but some of the most egregious examples I have read come from the Left. I remember reading reviews of Jonah Goldberg's "Liberal Fascism" months before the book was published. I knew that these reviews couldn't even be based on "advance" copies of the book, as based on conversations I was having with Jonah he was still doing some intense research.
Sep '10
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Jack Dunphy, Guest Contributor: But that is why Amazon sell Kindles. My wonderful wife gave me one for Christmas. . .
My own wonderful wife gave me a Kindle for Christmas a few years ago. I have it loaded with lots of great reading, but I confess I still prefer the feel of a real book. · Sep 10 at 10:50am
I definitely prefer books as well, but the newer ones are definitely an improvement on the old. Just yesterday, I clipped something public domain off the web, popped it into the too cool for school Scrivener writing application, compiled it into a Kindle e-book and emailed it to myself at the Kindle store, and pulled it down in all its glory to read on my Kindle.
And for us aging eyes, the ability to increase that type size is fabulous. No more being tied to idiotic font and point size by chincy publishers.
Mar '11
Re: If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Say It on Amazon.com
Exquisite Form Women's Front Close Cotton Posture Bra, in white, size 42DD. It’s “comfortable and doesn’t chafe,” she says, for which we can all congratulate her.
Can I get a Man's Front Close Cotton Posture Bra, in white, size 42DD?