Identity and belonging
I was born and raised in Texas. Those of you who were not so graced may not understand the importance of such a statement. The problem is that I'm quickly approaching the date when I will have lived longer outside the state than I did in it. In a topic earlier today I wrote, "in my state," refering to Washington, and it caused a mental twitch when I typed the words. It was simply easier to write "my state" than to explain that I feel no sense of belonging here. I've been out of the military and a citizen of Washington for five years, and yet I still struggle to identify myself with this state. Sure, I've resided here since 1993. I don't tan anymore; I rust. I've grown a moss line on my ankles. I understand why sun is more hazardous to driving than rain or snow. My wife and children have lived here their entire lives, but I still don't feel right calling myself a Washingtonian.
We all identify ourselves with things external: our faiths, our political leanings, our sports teams, and even our states. Texans take the last one very, very seriously. I've been a typical Texan in that regard for probably longer than is reasonable. However, I feel like an enormous part of my identity is stripped away if I acknowledge that I am no longer a Texan. I realistically haven't been one for years. So here I sit watching my identity crumble as I take ownership of the stupidity of my dark blue state and fight to let go of the pride of a place I simply had the great blessing of being born and raised in.
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Sep '11
Re: Identity and belonging
I would never leave Texas by choice, even if I won a big lottery. If I had to leave to support my family I would, but would get back as soon as I can.
Prawn, being a Texan, especially a birthright Texan, is a state of mind and like salvation can never be given up. If you are starting to have doubts, watch Lonesome Dove or read any Larry McMurtry novel if you don't have TV.
So buck up and quit feeling sorry for yourself, things will be all right.
Jul '10
Re: Identity and belonging
Funny, but I am proud to be born and raised in New Jersey.
The history, the inventors, the music, the shore. You can't pick a better state.
The politics on the other hand...
May '10
Re: Identity and belonging
As my Aunt Opal would say, "Good-night-a-livin'...I can't believe that." You feel insecure as to whether you are truly Texan?
BradnSA is right, it's a state a mind--get it back or get back here.
Dec '10
Re: Identity and belonging
KP - I was born in Oregon and have lived here for the past 35 years. I grew up, however, in a small town in the Canadian Rockies and still feel a certain heart tug for things Canadian occasionally.
I learned a long time ago how convenient it can be to have 2 different geographic identities. When the US does something stupid, I put on my Canada hat and sneer "Stupid Yanks." When Canada does something stupid, I put on my US hat and sneer "Stupid Canucks". The flexibility is useful.
Apr '11
Re: Identity and belonging
"Ugh! Me not lost. Wigwam lost. Me right here!"
May '10
Re: Identity and belonging
I very much sympathize. I'm also a Texan by birth and upbringing but have been living in a different state for the past 3.5 years and various different places in Europe before that. I never dropped my Texas identity and my current #1 goal in life is to move back there.
Sep '11
Re: Identity and belonging
Davy Crockett once said "you can go to hell. I'm going to Texas." Some people think those are one in the same; Texans, of course, do not. But that's why we get jokes like this one:
"A joke has it that St. Peter was showing a Texan around heaven, with the Texan insisting that everything he saw was better in Texas. St. Peter tired of the routine and pointed to the fire of hell. 'Do you have anything like that in Texas?' he asked. The Texan said no, then added, “But there are a couple of good ol boys in Houston who can put it out for you.' "
Sep '11
Re: Identity and belonging
Sorry, brother. For 25 years now I've been a ---- errrrr, resident of Washington. "Washingtonian" is reserved for the Subaru-driving, nice, Patti Murray-will-save-us-all, pale but "green" person in front of me at Starbucks. My retirement at year's end will likely see my wife and I spending a great deal more time in CA, from where we moved all those years ago. Yes, CA probably has more nuts than WA, but somehow we find it more tolerable, being blatent rather than subtle. I'd strongly recommend a trip to the east of the mountains where you'll meet more folks like you. Hang in there. Appreciate the natural beautyand your endangered species status.
Dec '10
Re: Identity and belonging
California is like a giant box of granola - take away the fruits and the nuts and all you have left is a bunch of flakes.
Dec '10
Re: Identity and belonging
I told my wife about this post and she immediately proclaimed me to not be a Washingtonian. Perhaps it has something to do with me declaring the grill ruined every time she puts fish on it...
It's strange the amount thought engendered just because I wrote "my state" instead of "the state I live in." I'm pretty sure yesterday was the first time I ever took that shortcut. Now I know better.
Apr '11
Re: Identity and belonging
I'm Californian by birth, but Texan on purpose.
King Prawn: My wife's story is almost the opposite from yours. She moved to Texas from Oregon to marry me. While I have been able to adopt Texas in every way besides sports (Lakers, Dodgers, Raiders...yes Raiders) she has had more trouble. However she had a breakthrough just a couple weeks ago. In a moment of parenting frustration, she told our son he was "fixin to" get in trouble. Mortified doesn't begin to cover how she felt.
Jul '11
Re: Identity and belonging
Born in California, raised in Massachusetts in a fishing town. Nevada for 16 years and considering the politics of the other two states I just call myself a Nevadan now. There are two types here, those who think Harry Reid is crooked liberal scum and some other type I never associate with.
By the way Sam Dominguez, Silver and Black for life , "Just Win Baby!!!!!!!"
Nov '11
Re: Identity and belonging
I traveled a lot as a kid, from California to South Carolina, but I graduated high school and have spent the majority of my life living in Eastern Washington State. Eastern Washington is a lot closer to Texas culturally then it is to Seattle. You could almost say Eastern Washington is a remote suburb of West Texas.
Apr '11
Re: Identity and belonging
Raised in Wyoming (pronounced Y-O-Mun), currently reside in Moscow on the Willamette (otherwise known as Portland, OR). I will always be from Wyoming.....God's Country.
Nov '10
Re: Identity and belonging
The King Prawn
You've obviously spent a summer to two away from the coast. I'm not sure which is worse: 115 in West Texas or 100 with 98% humidity in South Texas. At least the rain in Wa hits the ground, unlike San Antonio.
I was in Zapata (a bit south of Laredo) in the early part of one summer. Walking around in the sun was rather hot, so we stopped when we found some good shade, finding much relief. There happened to also be a thermometer in the shade, and it read 99 degrees.
Later that summer, I was in Rockport, just a tad north of Corpus Christi. It never got above 95 degrees, but it also never got below 85 degrees, even at 6.30 in the morning. The water in the bay was about 90 degrees.
Dec '10
Re: Identity and belonging
Well said. Head east and sanity of all sorts sets in not long after you cross the Cascades. I could never figure out why Oregon and Washington don't just rotate their shared border by 90 degrees.