I'm Just Grumpy Now
Hello, Chicago. Thanks for charging me an extortionate rate to use the wireless here in O'Hare. That was mighty hospitable of you.
Look, I'm not insensible to the blessings of modern airline travel--every time I think of it, I'm amazed that we convey ourselves over vast distances every single day by means of flying metal tubes, that this procedure is astonishingly safe (especially since human beings are involved in it), fast, and absurdly commonplace.
But must my fellow passengers make this whole business so much more unpleasant than it need be? I understand that none of them are responsible for our pointless, theatrical security procedures--and I must say, even though I think the TSA's rules are ridiculous, I've been unfailingly impressed by the politeness and good-nature of its employees, and even by their vigilance--they caught my contraband water bottle with a quickness, that's for sure, so points to them. TSA versus Claire, 1-null.
But passengers! Where are your brains! Don't take a carry-on bag that's too heavy for you to pick up and then stand there in the aisles trying helplessly to heft it, making it impossible for everyone behind you to board. Don't just stand in the aisles, period, when there are people behind you. Move aside. And when the flight lands, get that bag down while we're waiting for the doors to open--you've got plenty of time to do it--instead of holding everyone up because you're not in a hurry and can't be bothered.
Also, please: I've got no problem with gum chewing, but if I can hear you doing it from ten feet away, you're just a disgusting human being. I don't want to smell the cheese hoagie you just bought at the food court, and frankly, it doesn't look to me like you need it. I don't want to hear your voice, actually: If you're talking so loudly that I can hear you from this distance, you are vastly over-estimating my interest in your conversation.
Overall: Just pay attention. We're all eager to get on that plane and we're all eager to get off it. If you're making it harder for everyone else to do that because you're just standing there in everyone's way, you're adding to the overall misery of this experience. You're the reason flight attendants go berserk and depart the aircraft via the emergency exit. You're the reason I too might go berserk and, I don't know, post something mean about you on Ricochet.
That'll teach you some manners.
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Comments :
May '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Five feet of fury..... our secret weapon.
Jun '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
I’m always struck by old film footage of passengers dressed up in their Sunday best to fly on a plane, back when air travel was new and exotic. It initially seemed very impractical; flying is uncomfortable enough already without having to wear a suit and tie, but now I wonder: would a dress code encourage better behavior? When people dress like they do in private, do they automatically tend to behave as they would when no one else is around?
May '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Ruh-roh.
Time for Claire to make her way back to Europe, where everyone is thin and genteel and relaxed from three weeks of vacation and six-hour work-days and I suppose the nationally-subsidized airlines don't charge to check bags and they still serve meals.
Edited on Sep 9, 2010 at 1:43pmMay '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Any American who says things like "1-null" has been overseas way too long. Too soccerish.
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Claire: Can't wait to read your post after they begin to allow cell phone use during flights!
May '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Welcome to my life....
Although, I have to say, that I am quick to help folks get their luggage in the overhead bin, especially little old ladies. I mean it is only right to respect them and assist them, since I am yet able to do so. Being on airplanes as much as I am, I am almost as good at arranging luggage in those bins as the flight attendants.....
Jul '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Good luck finding an outlet too, should you need to charge anything. O'Hare has to be one of the most inhospitable airports in the country. Though every time I fly out of LaGuarida, I consider myself lucky if there aren't live chickens on the plane with me...
Nothing will reinforce how uncommon common sense is like flying in America. Not even watching voting patterns is as good an indicator of this.
May '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Geez, I don't leave for Sweden until Monday, but you just gave me a head start on being grumpy.
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Devin Cole: Welcome to my life....
Although, I have to say, that I am quick to help folks get their luggage in the overhead bin, especially little old ladies. I mean it is only right to respect them and assist them, since I am yet able to do so. Being on airplanes as much as I am, I am almost as good at arranging luggage in those bins as the flight attendants..... · Sep 9 at 3:04pm
Yeah, yeah. I was a cheerful Girl Scout about these things too until that last flight. That's the one that did me in. Everyone has a breaking point.
Jul '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
It wasn't that long ago. I worked for the airlines in the '70's and people routinely dressed as though they were going to church or a job interview.
I went to Europe to work for awhile in the mid-80's. When I left, people in Manhattan still wore jackets and ties - or dresses (or those horrid pant-suits and bow blouses).
When I came back, everyone seemed to be wearing Motley Crue t-shirts and cargo shorts.
I remember strolling through Columbus Circle with a friend and blurting out,
"When did everyone start dressing like five-year-olds?"
It happened that fast.
May '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Claire Berlinski
Devin Cole: Welcome to my life....
Although, I have to say, that I am quick to help folks get their luggage in the overhead bin, especially little old ladies. I mean it is only right to respect them and assist them, since I am yet able to do so. Being on airplanes as much as I am, I am almost as good at arranging luggage in those bins as the flight attendants..... · Sep 9 at 3:04pm
Yeah, yeah. I was a cheerful Girl Scout about these things too until that last flight. That's the one that did me in. Everyone has a breaking point. · Sep 9 at 4:43pm
Oops. I initially thought that the little old lady Devin was referring to was.....
Edited on Sep 9, 2010 at 8:06pmMay '10
Re: I'm Just Grumpy Now
Just back from flights to Manila and Bangkok. The dress code seems to be just as bad and the number of passengers with FIVE carry-on bags is increasing.
New trend: Chinese tourists. They wear cheap clothes, just like Americans, and refuse to speak any language except their own.