I Went to the Obama Campaign Website So You Don't Have To
Taking a look at President Obama's reelection campaign website for Forbes was the most fun I've had in awhile. Granted, it was the sort of bewildered amusement that comes from realizing the apocalypse will not be a result of carbon emissions from fossil fuels, but from people blathering on and on about their passionate feelings for a political leader.
The site itself is a joke, flashy yet shoddy and wholly lacking in substance. Unless a store full of designer duds is substance.
The campaign seeks to paint Obama as a beloved family member who just happens to also run the country. The testimonials from voters are terrifyingly daft:
Freudian analysis could continue with another supporter’s delusion: “As a young woman, I want my President to want me to succeed—as much as he wants my sister, my friends and his own daughters to succeed.” We want our parents to want us to succeed because it is proof that they love, cherish, and respect us (just as much as our sisters and friends!), even though seeking that validation comes with enormous pressure and the infinite possibility of failure, disappointment, shattered dreams, and family feuds. All young people are beholden to their parents in this way, but no one is beholden to the man who wins the electoral vote every four years. In fact, he is beholden to us. It’s our validation that he seeks.
Only a stalker desires the approval of a public figure she will never meet. Yet, this insecure young woman wants “her President” to care as much about her as “his own daughters.” I can’t imagine a parent who would take on the responsibility of a nation of foster children, yet Obama, through his campaign engineers at least, welcomes it. He’ll be clapping for us when we all achieve our ambitions or at least receive our participation trophies.
The nonsense continues with the portions scripted by his hired "professionals":
The site doesn’t just feature the words of voters in projecting our current executive as our father, friend, and fan. It also features passages that were written by employees or, more likely, unpaid volunteers. It would be safe to assume that the campaign has poached some highly educated young talent for their efforts, but whoever created this monster of mixed metaphors is not among them: “President Obama believes that America is strongest when everybody has a seat at the table. He’s expanded opportunity for every American by taking steps to level the playing field so everybody plays by the same rules.”
Literal vacuity of that sentence aside, its intended message, like the parental mentality, is perilously applied. My fellow women have been the most recently vocal about the leveling of fields and standardization of rulebooks. Obama’s campaign site notes that his health care law makes it such that “being a woman is no longer considered a pre-existing condition.” (Clever, considering all pre-existing conditions are no longer considered pre-existing conditions.)
If you are looking for a laugh and a good spine-shaking shudder, you should check out some of the other golden nuggets I mined from that mess.
Campaign websites are fluffy, patriotically-colored ways of bringing in bucks, but if the person who already holds the office can't come up with anything better than what he has, we should start buying "shared feelings" offsets.