Ryan M · December 6, 2012 at 3:52pm

If you are foolish enough to answer truthfully on an application for state assistance, do not despair. The state has thought of that, and does not discriminate against the foolish; you will likely be given multiple opportunities to lie, and you will eventually get your fair share. Always remember that it is best to consult your state and federal poverty guidelines before you subjectively determine what you can or cannot afford. The numbers do not lie, even if you have to lie to fall within them.

Please allow me to repeat that:  there are state and federal poverty guidelines. Allow a moment for that to sink in. Yesterday, I made a trip to the grocery store to pick up some dinner items. I saw an enormous bag of generic cereal for about three dollars. I saw a box of Ramen noodles, consisting of some 50 packages, for three dollars and 29 cents. That is dinner for two months. It isn't all that healthy, but it is food. Breakfast and dinner for months and it will cost you about six bucks. That is the bare minimum. That is subsistence. That, perhaps, is poverty. Where that is poverty, there is no poverty.

Peter Robinson recently posted an article stating that the United States has eliminated poverty, and it has. But how does our omniscient government determine poverty? Just consult the state and federal poverty guidelines. Today's poverty is yesterday's kingship. Yet it is a human right. Human rights evolve, I suppose.

I have had a difficult week. This afternoon, I sat next to an indignant man who had been denied court-appointed counsel. He whined to the court that, after all, he has bills to pay! You see, he had made the mistake of filling out the form honestly. That is bush league. Everyone knows that you cannot make over a thousand dollars a month. Throw in a dependent child or two, and you're golden. 

Yesterday, I met with one of the victims in an assault case that may soon be going to trial.  Through an interpreter, I was forced to listen to an hour or so of a real life Telemundo soap opera. I started to lose track of names, who said what to whom, who shoved first, whose child was screaming the loudest - X said that Y had asked her to marry X's boyfriend so that he could get citizenship, Y said that she had loaned X money, and when she asked for payment, X threatened to tell DSHS that Y lies on her welfare application, claiming to be a single mother of three, where she is actually married with two. As I left the courthouse, I saw Y drive away in a brand new Chrysler. It isn't the Jaguar that the indigent client whose motion I filed this morning got pulled over in, but it is still nicer than my Honda Accord.

The gentleman today was told that he can reapply. You know, just in case the numbers have changed. Net, after all, is a much smaller number when it means "after bills," rather than "after taxes." If he were really smart, he would pay attention in court. Listen to the conversation of the guy in front of you.

The state finds it so much easier to make determinations of poverty when all it has to do is ask one single question:  "Are you currently receiving state aid?" If the answer is yes, then you may automatically qualify for all other state aid. Pretty easy when your income is under the table -- or when you simply lie about it. The only problem is that it is really hard to meet with your court-appointed attorney when you work 12 hours a day - better to place an angry phone call after hours, complaining that after hours comes too early.

I wish I could print off just the title of this post and slap it on my boss's desk. Not out of any spite toward him; I would respectfully submit my two weeks' notice. But the state is just making it so easy. I can always get credit, and when that gets to be too large, it will go away in bankruptcy.  Think that will ruin your credit? Oh, I don't know - my neighbor just bought a brand new car not two weeks after filing. You see, the government guarantees loans so that the impoverished cannot be "discriminated" against. If I quit my job, I no longer have to pay for food. I don't even have to be embarrassed about it, since my food stamp card looks like an ordinary Visa. Heck, I can even use it at Starbucks!  If I start to get too cold in the winter, I can apply for aid to heat my house. It won't pay my cable bill, but it will pay my phone bill, which will save me some money for cable. It will probably save me enough for the movie and sports packages. I will have plenty of time to watch television while I sit at home. In between commercials, I can fill out some fake job applications so I can keep getting that unemployment check.

What about kids? WIC, TANF, all of my milk, cheese, and formula - formula? Well, I can't breastfeed while I'm on methadone ... duh. 

I'm getting carried away. Why do I really want to quit? Because I want to be blissfully unaware.  I want to go to work every day and think that the massive chunk of money coming out of my monthly paycheck is going to pay for the roads. I really enjoy driving on the roads. After all, those roads get me to work and back.

Comments:


TheSophist
Joined
Jan '11

Re: I Quit

TheSophist

Beautiful post, even if it's a rant in your eyes. Thank you for this.

John Davey
Joined
Jul '10

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John Davey

The mantra used to be: "You can have it now, but you've got to pay for it later."

We've eliminated 'later' by government decree.

Astonishing
Joined
Nov '11

Re: I Quit

Astonishing

All true. Except it's only fair to point out: 1. But for these "poor," you or others similarly employed to service them would have to find other work. 2. The "poor" actually receive a small portion of government largesse; the group receiving the most dollar-value advantage from government spending (including such things as SS, Medicare, state college tuition subsidies, neighborhood parks, decent public primary and secondary schools, mortgage interest deductions, etc) is the middle class. Much of this largesse is in the form of wages for government workers or contractors such as yourself. I am sure you work very hard to earn your money as a PD, but it came out of the taxpayer's pocket.

Rachel Lu
Joined
Apr '12

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Rachel L.

Nothing like working with the poor to turn a person into a conservative.

Think So
Joined
Aug '11

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Think So

Great post.

Western Chauvinist
Joined
Dec '10

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Western Chauvinist
Ross Conatser: Your post reminds me of the story of Cassandra who foresaw the destruction of ancient Troy but was not believed.  I doubt we will be conquered by a foreign power, but I am afraid that our democratic system will ultimately fail to choose and empower leaders who will/can make the required choices.  Fortunately, I think (I hope) we will see it begin to play out in Europe and a few badly run US states first, maybe that will be enough to get us back on track. 

Sorry, Ross. But, your comment is soooo 2010.

Great post, Ryan. It deserves promotion and I'll do my part (email and Facebook) to make sure it gets it.

Ryan M
Joined
May '11

Re: I Quit

Ryan M

@ astonishing: True. But as my wife likes to say, "if my husband had his way, we'd both be out of work." the fat is choking the liver, and I would still trim that fat, and happily look for a new job after doing so.

Fricosis Guy
Joined
Jun '11

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Fricosis Guy

I often wonder if Derb's sequel should be "We Are Corrupt".  The main reason I wouldn't mind going over the cliff is that we have a few of our own oxen to gore.

Many conservatives -- including me -- have availed ourselves of government jobs, loans, contracts, etc.  Woe to the Pharisee who mocks a schlub fumbling with an EFT card and two kids, then whips out a Plutonium Card backed by a defense contractor's paycheck. 

Luckily, there's still time to repent :-)

Astonishing: All true. Except it's only fair to point out: 1. But for these "poor," you or others similarly employed to service them would have to find other work. 2. The "poor" actually receive a small portion of government largesse; the group receiving the most dollar-value advantage from government spending is the middle class. Much of this largesse is in the form of wages for government workers or contractors such as yourself. I am sure you work very hard to earn your money as a PD, but it came out of the taxpayer's pocket. · 1 hour ago
Crow's Nest
Joined
Mar '11

Re: I Quit

Crow's Nest

#fedup

Becky53
Joined
Sep '12

Re: I Quit

Becky53

It's hard to care and to be at the same time, sometimes!  It's also hard to Galt it totally unless you win the lottery.  But the "this too shall pass" brought up by Paules, is what helps me personally -- plus -- exercise and being able to re-focus on a higher form of beauty or knowledge; ie, music, painting...or a glass of wine!

Ryan M
Joined
May '11

Re: I Quit

Ryan M

Fricosis Guy:

Many conservatives -- including me -- have availed ourselves of government jobs, loans, contracts, etc.  Woe to the Pharisee who mocks a schlub fumbling with an EFT card and two kids, then whips out a Plutonium Card backed by a defense contractor's paycheck. 

Luckily, there's still time to repent :-) · 21 minutes ago

I'm not sure if it is as much of a moral dilemma as many suggest.  We oppose massive government at least partially because it destroys the private market.  I see no reason not to take a public-sector job (my wife and I both work in the public sector) as long as we don't complain about losing it when we get our way, politically.  We should praise it, actually.

Take the case of my wife - she got her job and tried to opt out of her union, only to find out that she was still required to pay dues.  So she joined.  Yet, she would happily vote for a Scott Walker type, and would be among the first to opt out if given the chance to do so without such repercussions.

Ryan M
Joined
May '11

Re: I Quit

Ryan M

(...cont)  by "praise it," I mean praise losing the job.  I would happily look for work if the government suddenly eliminated its "poverty guidelines" and made all but the absolute destitute pay for their own representations ... guess what, there is always competition, and there will always be someone to underbid so that you can afford it.  Would there be massive abuse and people going unrepresented and getting screwed?  I highly doubt it.

My point (of the comment above):  easy example; let's say the government took all existing food and then distributed it ... it is foolish to suggest that a person must starve to death in order to protest this scheme.  The second - and I mean literally, the second - somebody offers me a private-sector job, I am on board.  Any potential employers reading this:  I am on board!  :)  Until then, I will be paying my bills any way that I can, while actively protesting government excess, and not consider myself a hypocrite for doing so.

Edited on December 6, 2012 at 7:22pm

Joined
Dec '10

Re: I Quit

Stephen

I noticed the other day that WIC has been re-branded at our local Kroger - probably in order to reduce the stigma attached to it. Approved items now say WIC - Wholesome Informed Choices (or some such). It certainly does not say Women with Infant Children, which is what I think it used to say.

We should bring back the soup lines. I see EBT signs EVERYWHERE! It's the sign of our age, in fact. We should start a twitter campaign posting EBT signs. Hashtab #ObamaEBT

Astonishing
Joined
Nov '11

Re: I Quit

Astonishing
Ryan M: (...cont)   . . .  The second  . . . somebody offers me a private-sector job, I am on board.  . .

I understand--much of my income originates from the taxpayer's pocket--but I do think we distract ourselves wrongly by focusing almost exclusively on welfare for the poor, when government subsidies supporting the middle-class lifestyle dwarf those for the poor.

Government support for public education is a good example. Rich kids attend private schools. Public schools in poor neighborhoods aren't worth crap. So the ones who truly benefit from public education are middle class kids. (Millions of public school teachers receive upper middle-class, taxpayer funded, wages much higher than they would receive in a free market environment--a fact one is not allowed to speak.) Yes, the middle class does pay property taxes for public education, but not nearly equal to the actual cost. State universities are another good example. Although state universities are open to all, the ones who benefit disproportionately from these government subsidized institutions are middle class kids.

(I would even bet that poor persons, being generally polite enough to die younger, burden medicare far less per capita than healthier persons in the longer-lived middle class.)

Edited on December 6, 2012 at 9:20pm
Cal Lawton
Joined
May '10

Re: I Quit

Cal Lawton

This belongs on the "Best-of-Craigslist".

Nanda Panjandrum
Joined
Nov '11

Re: I Quit

Nanda Panjandrum

Ryan,

Leave it just the way it is.  I've seldom seen a better description of the schizophrenic banana republic mentality.  Bravo! 

Angmoh Gao
Joined
Sep '12

Re: I Quit

Angmoh Gao

Nice rant. Much appreciated.

Does the US use a relative measure of poverty? In the uk we have an official measure of poverty which is a relative portion of median earnings. It in no way measures poverty but it facilitates the redistribution - to relieve poverty. Obviously it can never succeed other than in the presumed real goal - the perpetuation of redistribution. These are the insidious tools of socialism. 

GingerB
Joined
Sep '11

Re: I Quit

GingerB
Rachel L.: Nothing like working with the poor to turn a person into a conservative. · December 6, 2012 at 7:56am

This is exactly what happened to me!  I went to college in the 70's, so of course ended up wanting to "help people."   After working at DFCS for 11 years I ended up completely transformed.

 The tragedy is that those who are TRULY needy end up being shortchanged by the merely unethical "eligible", and there's not anything that can be done by the caseworker. 

Arahant
Joined
Apr '12

Re: I Quit

Arahant

Remember when honor was important?  Probably not.  We're all too young.


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