I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Claire Berlinski, Ed. ·
May 3, 2011 at 3:33am
I swear I was looking for something more serious when I accidentally found this article about the stripping, vomiting, fighting youth of Cambridge University. Highlights:
- Visitors to Jesus Green, including many with children, were subjected to views of students fighting, stripping off, vomiting and urinating in bushes and flower beds.
- One of the most revolting sights was a pig’s head being carried through the park on the end of a stake.
- Several students were left bloodied and bruised by the combat as colleagues cheered them on.
- Another visitor said: ‘The students were running around semi-naked, vomiting and singing rowdy drinking songs."
- Girls were seen drinking port through condoms, while others wore kippers round their necks.
- "The decision was made after Nadia Witkowski, 23, who was taking part in a jelly-wrestling contest, punched a female spectator ... "
I of course utterly condemn this degraded testament to the moral emptiness and decadence of today's youth. But man, this took me back.
We return now to our regularly-scheduled sober adult programming.
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Comments :
Jul '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Ah, dear old college days, gone beyond recall. It was much the same with us, as I dimly remember the misty, happy days long gone, except that it wasn't a pig's head.
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
I don't remember a pig's head. But I don't remember much of anything that took place after the third bottle of champagne, and of course I utterly condemn it, whatever it was.
Dec '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Ah well, each generation experiences the wild side, then quickly forgets it once they grow older. I have a sister and brother in law who were sternly lecturing their three kids who are all in their teens over the evils of sex-drink-and-rock-n-roll. After their lecture, I said to the three "Now ask them what they did as young adults. Whatever they leave out, I'll fill in."
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Kippers?
Feb '11
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
reading and writing and rithmetic
taught to the tune of a hick'ry stick
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
I don't remember those, either. I would condemn it completely if I did. I remember the deer and the shopping cart, though.
Jan '11
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
It was a donkey, not a deer; the antlers had been glued on.
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Ajax Telamônios
It was a donkey, not a deer; the antlers had been glued on. · May 3 at 4:22am
That doesn't make it right.
Jan '11
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
You should've thought of that before you opened that third bottle of 'champagne'.
Jun '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
I blame King Henry VIII.
Sep '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
We didn't carry the pigs head around we attached to the hood of a guys truck and the women didn't wrestle in jelly. Mores the pity
May '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Port? Of all the adult beverages to choose for condom-sipping, they could've picked one more decadent than port. To me, this was the most offensive item in the article.
Sep '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
There once was a student named Claire
With aplomb and a good dose of flair
Had a good time in college
While gathering knowledge
Now comes up for some clean and pure air
Aug '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
At Oxford whilst studying Keats' Odes,
A tercet of champers she loads.
To get the better view
They climbed up the statue.
And colossally drunk,mounted Rhodes
Mar '11
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
I don't remember those, either. I would condemn it completely if I did. I remember the deer and the shopping cart, though. · May 3 at 4:11am
As an underage college student and obedient citizen, I envy people like you from yesterday's decadent generation :P. It sounds like you had a lot more fun than I'm having. Maybe I just don't have the right connections. It can't be that hard to get ahold of a fake I.D.
Apr '11
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
I too wish I was coming of age these days because it seems as though women have so lowered their standards that even unemployed comic book geeks are now getting some. I just hope I get another go-round in another life before they come to their senses. Something tells me that as long as the public school system keeps working its magic, I will have that shot.
May '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Abdiel
Claire Berlinski, Ed.
I don't remember those, either. I would condemn it completely if I did. I remember the deer and the shopping cart, though. · May 3 at 4:11am
As an underage college student and obedient citizen, I envy people like you from yesterday's decadent generation :P. It sounds like you had a lot more fun than I'm having. Maybe I just don't have the right connections. It can't be that hard to get ahold of a fake I.D. · May 3 at 8:57am
The drinking age in the UK is 18 years, and believe me there is more public drunkenness on a Saturday evening in a small English village than in any Hogarth engraving.
Having said that, I do remember a certain involvement in "borrowing" a Senior Court Coat of Arms for a University scavenger hunt. It was promptly returned to the Clerk of Courts with a donation to charity the next day. Not so successful in removing the State Police Operations crest from above the main entrance 14 feet up; however another team succeeded by use of ladders and overalls.
Aug '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
Kippers round the neck? Could get behind such a fad if kippers are to randy drunkards what garlic is to vampires (somehow I suspect not, though). But drinking port through, ah... rubbers? Eeew...
My extensive public school sex-ed training tells me that such devices smell powerfully of latex. Can't imagine they'd taste much better, especially if they're the sort with a coating of spermicidal goo.
Also how do you drink port through one? I thought the idea was that nothing is supposed to get through.
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
It's not. You just ... oh, wait, no. Never mind. Don't even think about that.
Aug '10
Re: I Condemn and Envy Today's Decadent Youth
Abdiel
As an underage college student and obedient citizen, I envy people like you from yesterday's decadent generation :P. It sounds like you had a lot more fun than I'm having. Maybe I just don't have the right connections. It can't be that hard to get ahold of a fake I.D.
If it's any consolation, Abdiel, it is possible to have a wacky bohemian time in college without the aid of a fake ID, drugs, or even sex. I did.
Can come at a price, though, even so. Could never get any of the guys in bible study to date me -- I ended up with the reputation of "naughty hippie" without having done the naughty bits. Oh, if those nice boys had only known all things I wasn't doing with my free time...