I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
My deep commitment to providing Ricochet with informed, up-to-the-minute commentary prompted me to spend the afternoon watching Donald Trump video clips on YouTube, which I saw as my responsibility owing to his sudden emergence in the polls as an actual, serious candidate for the job of President of the United States.
After about thirty seconds, I was hooked. I was sold. Heck, why fight it? He is just so great. Four years of Donald Trump would be damned entertaining television, which cannot be said of four years of Mitt Romney now, can it?
My official endorsement is, however, conditional upon Ricochet getting in on the action early and securing some kind of exclusive-access deal to a Trump White House reality-show 24-hour live podcast (plus sequel and trademark rights).
Team Ricochet: When you go in to negotiate with a guy like that, it's all about looking strong, so maybe drop in to the meeting in a few attack helicopters, Ride of the Valkyries soundtrack, all Apocalypse Now and scary and stuff. You make it totally clear with your very serious faces and your attack helicopters that when Ricochet negotiates, Carthago delenda est--we are the Alpha Dogs and the Hair signs what we tell him to sign.
Anyway, I'm seeing this feature where members of Ricochet can vote Cabinet members off the island with their cellphones and maybe pick the first lady's outfits via text message, or in fact choose a whole new first lady every month from a pageant--we could make that a Rico-Premium feature. In fact, I say we just move the seat of government to the Taj Mahal Casino. Tell me it would not be cool to host state dinners there. Logo, you feel me?
Not for the Chinese, of course. No dinners for them until they stop messing with our country.
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Oct '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
I could see a double-reverse comb-over trend sweeping the nation, just like portraits with Napoleon-style poses were all the rage in the nineteenth century.
Jul '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Will there be free drinks?
Jul '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Better yet, We Ricocheteerianeerists could hash out all The Hair's policy issues via Ricochet's Live Chats while He watches. It would go by so fast that His Hair would spin and agree to anything.
Edited on Apr 8, 2011 at 2:54pmRe: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
No, because we're going to lock down the beverage concessions. Ricochet members will get a discount though.
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Jimmy Carter: Better yet, We Ricocheteerianeerists could hash out all The Hair's policy issues via Ricochet's Live Chats while He watches. It would go by so fast that His Hair would spin and agree to anything. · Apr 8 at 2:53pm
Edited on Apr 08 at 02:54 pm
I like it.
Oct '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Amusing in a way... Why would we want to entertained by the new office holder...
Need someone to get the job done, where to find same is they key... Too bad we could not clone some of the leaders in the past for today..
Sep '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
As someone who has coughed up more than his share of hairballs, may I say -- pace Darth Vader:
"I find your lack of faith, disturbing."
May '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
The Donald: Mr. Obama, you're fired!
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
I dig him. He knows money. Foreign policy takes nothing more than patriotism and negotiation skills. He has them.
He has a certain Charlie Sheen "Winning!" attitude (at least before Sheen took it too far).
He's a decider.
He's the first guy to ask to see the 1961 birth certificate and not be confused by the 2007 certificate (and I, like Trump, am not a crazy person for knowing the difference).
Nov '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
No one could ever accuse the Donald of lacking charisma, chutzpah, intelligence, chutzpah, business savvy (after all, who else besides Romney has the experience of rescuing companies from the precipice of fiscal disaster), chutzpah and... the ability to raise good kids. :)
Hey Claire, does this mean I have a clean shot to write a nice post about the other diablo of the Republican Party, Mitt Romney?
Edited on Apr 8, 2011 at 3:36pmJan '11
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
They'd be upset because they wouldn't be able to pronounce his name, and that alone would make it worthwhile for me to vote for him.
Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra.
Apr '11
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
I saw some of the Donald's interview from the Today Show. You gotta give him this: He comes straight at you. If he jumps in the race, those silly early 2012 debates could become appointment tv. The Chinese will surely be tuning in.
Aug '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Specifically, what will a Ketel One ,rocks ,olive cost ? Will there be a single sponsor for " Celebrity Secretary of State "? I'm thinking the UN or GM or GE ,any two letters that equal subsidy and sustainability that we are paying for would be good ? When are we going to ask for his stylist's birth certificate, which I think is a perfectly acceptable question : earth or Venus ?
Jul '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
If it's choice next year between a jug-eared community organizer who flopped in the big time and a successful entrepreneur with funny hair who's grabbing for the brass ring, I say it's an easy choice. Incidentally, satire has to be funny or forget it.
Mar '11
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Do you remember the magazine ad from 3-4 years ago that showed The Donald on the penthouse floor ( one hundred and umpteenth ? ) of Trump Tower holding a delivered pizza? My knees were knocking and Trump looked like he was ready for pizza. I forget what the ad was for but I remember the harrowing height.
Jul '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
That's the type of sentence I routinely describe as "an oversimplification" because I didn't write it.
Apr '11
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Trump says he's paying investigators to look for evidence about the president's birth certificate in Hawaii. I'd rather he went himself to Kenya, and stayed until he finds the proof he's looking for there.
Whatever his policy arguments against Obama, which I'm not that impressed by, his birtherism not only detracts from his own standing but that of other Republicans, which he hardly is anyway.
May '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
I figure Trump is useful. He raises issues that others are shy about 1. 25% tarriff on China if they don't stop manipulating the RMB. 2. Close the border with Mexico, 3. Only get involved in the Middle East if you intend to seize the oil to pay for it.
His birth certificate chase in Hawaii will end up making him look foolish. He will disappear, but his positions will remain.
May '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Me and Andrea are getting our Reservoir Dogs dark suits and shades all ready for these negotiations. Need some Team America music, walking up in slightly slo-mo. This could happen, people.
What am I there for? 10%, that's what.
May '10
Re: I Cannot Wait for the Trump Presidency
Palaeologus
That's the type of sentence I routinely describe as "an oversimplification" because I didn't write it. · Apr 8 at 7:31pm
And agree with every word of it.