How to Quell a Protester
John Yoo ·
Sep 8, 2011 at 9:55pm
Thanks to Tim for his post, and for the comments on my handling of it. They had me chortling. I am always willing to improve. I used to tease the man sitting next to a protester about his poor taste in dates (but my friend Mike Uhlman was sitting next to the protester last week, and I didn't have the heart).
How about Ricocheters post their favorite retorts, real or hypothetical, to disruptive protesters? I promise to use the best ones the next time this happens, and I will report back.
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Dec '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
Dec '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
David Niven was presenting an Academy Award in the 1970s when a streaker made his way across the stage. Hardly missing a beat, Niven suavely remarked, "It's a shame that the greatest fame that fellow will ever achieve will come from his revealing his shortcomings to the world."
May '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
Well hey, Prof. Yoo, you've got the Dr. Evil rep anyway, you might as well use it: "My people have ways of dealing with dissenters like you....."
Jul '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
For disruptive protesters, I have always liked the reply, "Security, please remove this person." When I'm in the audience, I move closer to them, flanking them, unless security is already ahead of me. But I never get in the way of real security when it puts in an appearance.
Re: How to Quell a Protester
That's a tough call, and your response was great. How about either of these?
"I see there is a legal expert in the audience tonight. You know, I've always had difficulty explaining the commerce clause. Could you give us a quick run-down?"
"As much as I like reverting back to the state of nature to make a Hobbesian point, I think it's time to reestablish the rule of law. Guards!"
Nov '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
It's not exactly a protest but I think the greatest comeback from an interruption of all time might be the time Feynman was speaking at a physics conference about the fundamental forces of nature when he was faced with what may be regarded as a protest of sorts by the Almighty himself.
Feynman was enthusiastically making his point, hammering the podium with his fist: "As we know, gravity is weak. As a matter of fact, it's damn weak!"
At that point one of the large loudspeakers came unmoored from its place in the ceiling above the stage and loudly crashed to the floor directly in front of the momentarily stunned Feynman.
Quickly recovering he returned to his address, improvising, "Weak ... but not negligible!"
May '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
I'm afraid that my two most recent speeches -- "The Semantic Web and Its Discontents" and "Power Shifts in the Retail Chicken Industry" -- just didn't inspire as much passion as you're able to generate. Sounds awfully exciting, though.
The next time someone disrupts your speech, could you please find out if they'd rent themselves out for other events?
Jul '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
There is always the condescending "that's cute," but I like the way you handled it better.
Oct '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
“Thank you. At long last I now intuitively understand what economists mean by “negative externalities.”
“The problem with free speech is you get what you pay for.”
"Those with coherent original ideas write articles and books. Those that self-righteously crave attention just impose boring rants on others.”
Jul '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
Dang! They're on to me!
Re: How to Quell a Protester
May '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
How about "Are you a source of embarrassment everywhere you go, or just here?"
Re: How to Quell a Protester
There is a Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers movie. I think that it is their first -- Flying Down to Rio -- in which the lead actress says to Ginger Rogers,' You are not as dumb as you look." And Ginger Rogers replies," I wish that I could say the same for you."
Dec '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
Well, under a very different circumstance, a heckler was managed rather thoroughly in Phoenix (note the link is not direct, as the, uh, management was so beyond the CoC as to be in a different universe).
May '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
How about the classic comic's response:
" hey buddy I don't come and throw rocks at you while you're mowing lawns"....
Sep '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
"If silence is golden then tonight I think we're more than a few ingots short."
Sep '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
"Mob ruler: give them an inch and they take a mike."
Sep '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
I think a quote from the Code of Justinian may have the salutary effect of acting as a verbal stun grenade.
May '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
"Yeah, I remember MY first beer."
May '10
Re: How to Quell a Protester
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. - A. Lincoln