How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
For some reason, yesterday's Supreme Court decision made me think about another place where government bureaucrats run every aspect of their citizen-subject's lives.
North Korea.
It's an Obamaland over there, with nothing but rules, regulations, and government "oversight." Here, for instance, is how you become a stand-up comic in the Hermit Kingdom. From The North Korea Blog:
“Student must to be funny,” [the North Korean official] explained. “Making other kids laughing. Teacher must to notice and recommend. Then they go to the school for the comedy.”
Once a teacher recommends a student for the profession, the student appears in front of a panel of judges (think Flashdance,but with jokes). If approved, he will eventually perform in local clubs, where he will make up for the dearth of Kim Jong-il impressions with a solid repertoire of [anatomy] jokes, which account for more than half of local humor. (Our guides shared the North Korean affinity for phallic quips in the exquisite Songam Cavern, going so far as to ask me which stalagmite “looked like mine.” Our laughter echoed in the cave.) Surprisingly for a country that embraces its Dionysian impulses, there is no two-drink minimum—there is no alcohol served in the comedy clubs at all. Imagine how hard those comedians have to work for a laugh.
What do comedians make fun of, if not religion and politics? Without those pillars of stand-up, what else is there?
Our other tour guide, a porcelain face in her twenties, giggled.
“You want to know? OK. There is a boy. And he keeps saying that he has to pee. All day he is saying that he has to pee. So his mother tells him, it is rude to say you have to pee. If you have to pee, just say you have to sing.
“That night he wakes up because he has to pee. So he wakes up his father and he tells him, ‘Father, father, I have to sing.’
“And the father says, ‘OK, but do it quietly in my ear.’”
Which is not the worst joke I've ever heard. It's adequate. Sort of a C+ kind of joke.
Just like American health care, after 2014.
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Comments:
Jun '10
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
So, you have to become a 3rd-grader.
May '11
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
I heard a version of this joke when I was a teen. I can't remember the comedian though. Joke was told in story mode. Something about guy having trouble peeing and his wife tells him not to say d*** but something more acceptable. When Dr ask whats wrong he says" It's my ear, I can't p*** through it don't ya know!" So are the North Koreans scouring our old comedy?
May '12
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Oh man, was I ever born in the wrong country. And you know what?
Apr '12
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Bob Mugabe would do this if he could be that organized.
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
The North Korean School for Comedy could be the backdrop for a very sad movie.
Mar '11
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
"What's the deal with Air Koryo peanuts?"
Jun '10
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Stop...you're killin' me. No seriously stop! No seriously you're killing me!! Stop!!!
May '10
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Rob Long: .........
Here, for instance, is how you become a stand-up comic in the Hermit Kingdom. From The North Korea Blog:
Rob, does that application process remind you at all of pitching a show to pencil-necked, 20-something network programming guy?
Apr '11
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
I saw a cartoon from Red China, in National Lampoon, I think. Grandfather, Father, and Son are collecting kindling. Father has just sliced off Grandfather's fingers with his axe. Son says: "You %$#@ blind pimp!" Father says: "How dare you speak to your father like that!"
Them Communists. More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Duane Oyen
Rob Long: .........
Here, for instance, is how you become a stand-up comic in the Hermit Kingdom. From The North Korea Blog:
Rob, does that application process remind you at all of pitching a show to pencil-necked, 20-something network programming guy? · 1 hour ago
Exactly.
Jul '10
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
I didn't know North Koreans laughed.
Oct '11
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
How to become a stand-up comic in a fascist state? Tough one ...
Oh, I know! Get yourself appointed Chief Justice of the Supreme Court!
May '11
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Casey
"What's the deal with Air Koryo peanuts?" · 8 hours ago
Stop! Your making me sing my pants.
Nov '10
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Yes, and they cry too -- as we found out when the ill Kim-Il died -- on command.
Nov '10
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
The C+ joke reminds me of a teaching of Mohammed that, if a worshiper falls asleep during prayers, or misses prayers (sleeps through), then Satan will pee in his ear. The site I link is an Islamic discussion looking for metaphorical insight -- others are quite literal -- but remarkably you'll likely not find any pious muslim sites treating it as obviously intended: humour.
Perhaps somewhat analogous in Judeo/Christian tradition is Elijah's taunt mocking the prophets of Ba'al:
The phrase translated "gone aside" here is generally understood as a euphemism for relieving oneself (by urinating). Even in pious circles, this is generally understood to be coarse scatalogical humour on the prophet's part. Elijah, of course, did not literally believe Ba'al existed -- which is a main point of the story. He would not seriously attribute anthropomorphic behaviour to what he regarded as a fictitious entity.
Aug '11
Re: How to Become a Stand-up Comic in North Korea
Thanks for the tip. I usually pay for that. Now I just have to doze at my local mosque.
By the way, I like the link and the banality of having to say in passing "(PBUH)". Reminds me of the nun's making sure I capitalized "Church" when talking of the Catholic one, and "church" when talking of any others.
Edited on June 30, 2012 at 2:33pm