How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
Today's big story in Britain is that David Cameron and his wife Sam went to a pub for Sunday lunch at the weekend and accidentally left behind their 8-year old daughter. Personally, I think it's a non-story. Or, possibly, even worse than that, a story which has been allowed to run and run by cynical political spin merchants in order to distract from the abject incompetence of Cameron's doomed Coalition by presenting Cameron as just another ordinary, lovable Dad prone to ordinary Homer-Simpson-like incompetence.
Whatever. But it does give me a nice excuse to invite you all to come up with your fond personal recollections of the dumbest things your parents ever did. (And I'm not blaming your parents for what they did by the way. Speaking as a parent myself I am prepared to forgive pretty much any extremity of parental incompetence, recognizing as I do that, hey, being a Mom or Dad is tough and kids are demanding and difficult and sometimes mistakes are made).
I'd love to start the ball rolling by telling you the embarrassing thing I did the other day when I took Boy to look at his new school but I can't because he would never forgive me (and is barely prepared to speak to me again, even as it is). All I can say is that - weirdly enough given my last post - it involved the use (or otherwise) of firearms.
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Comments:
Jan '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
I admit that I have a couple of parent stories that will convince you of what a complete bonehead I am. However, I've learned from experience not to share those stories, even if they are funny.
I can be taught.
Feb '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
As a young child, I often received penicillin injections when I was sick. I cried hysterically and my mother said they would NEVER put me through this if I weren't sick.
When the Pittsburgh Public Schools began their Salk vaccine testing, I was in first grade and the teacher gave us forms to take home, to get our parents' permission. Most of the kids were terrified, but I knew my parents weren't signing because they promised me no shots unless I was sick.
It was a long long time before I trusted them again.
Jun '10
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
I'll give you a story about my grandfather. Back in the 1930's my family lived on a chicken farm. They had an outhouse, of course, because indoor plumbing hadn't made its way yet to rural areas. Eventually the outhouse pit filled to capacity, so my grandfather decided to seal the hole. His method of choice? A stick of dynamite. Didn't work out quite like he planned.
Jul '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
It was pretty dumb of the Camerons to leave their kids behind. I've never done it to my kids. My parents never did it to me. My grand parents never did it to my parents.
It must be a western thing.
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
Barkha Herman: It was pretty dumb of the Camerons to leave their kids behind. I've never done it to my kids. My parents never did it to me. My grand parents never did it to my parents.
It must be a western thing. · 1 minute ago
I don't think it happens often but it happens. I mean, it happened to Mary, mother of Jesus. It happens.
Sep '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
I am one of seven. When the fourth child was born, we didn't yet have a car large enough to take all of us, so Mom and Dad would drive separately to church, each with two or so. When my brother Jonathan (4 years old at the time) got left at church, it was Mom saying "where's Jonathan? I thought you had him?" Dad replies "Oh, I thought you had him." Our pastor and his wife were very understanding and had taken him over to the parsonage for milk and cookies while he waited. He was not at all traumatized and asked when he could stay with the pastor again.
I think that happened more than once as the last three were added...
Jul '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
@Mollie - Being an atheist, I don't want to argue any stories out of the bible unless there is a pitcher of beer between us. How can one compete with divine conception, after all...
For us lesser mortals, did it ever happen to you? Yes, parents are not perfect. But when my kids were 8, my primary mode of operation was kids. Not to sound sexist here - but let's say that David has a little bit on his mind. What was his wife doing?
Kids come first. Period.
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
Barkha Herman:
For us lesser mortals, did it ever happen to you? Yes, parents are not perfect. But when my kids were 8, my primary mode of operation was kids. Not to sound sexist here - but let's say that David has a little bit on his mind. What was his wife doing?
Kids come first. Period. · 7 minutes ago
Oh man, Barkha. Yes, it's happened to me. It was only about two minutes but it was the longest two minutes of my life. I was traveling with my 2-year-old and 1-year-old and momentarily forgot that I had two children. Thankfully, she was fine and some people in the line to the airplane noticed we'd gotten momentarily separated and were quietly observing/watching over her.
But I've heard many, many, many stories that are similar. Particularly among larger families. (yes, all Western families ...)
Dec '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
I remember (Ok I was 3 at the time, I remember the story not the event) on a road trip to visit my Aunt in Rhinebeck, NY, my father struck a deer on the highway. Was I safely secured in a 4 point restraint car seat? Of course not, we didn't even have one. I was where I always was when driving with my father. I was standing on the seat between my parents.
Jul '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
....maybe it's a personal thing. I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling when political leaders stick cigars in interns OR leave their kids in pubs... Sorry - a dumb act is a dumb act.
However if the point is to down play the "story", which I suspect is Mr. Delingpole's point here, then sure, in the scale of things, forgetting your kids, for a few minutes or whatever, is just dumb, not vile.
Nov '10
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
Is it just me, or does the comment "it must be a western thing" offend anyone else? For pities sake, I thought it was us "religious" people who were judgmental.
May '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
We were heading to a child's b'day party (can't remember if one of ours or one of many nieces / nephews.) Mrs. E had baked a lovely chocolate cake, which I placed on the roof of the car as we strapped in our kids.
As we drove off, "Wait! The cake!" Applied brakes and...
Amazing how far that thing rolled down the street.
Jul '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
@Ken - you say that as if being judgmental is a bad thing...
But in my defense, I do think that parenting styles are culturally influenced. There is a reason the term "jewish mother" even exists. To be quite honest, I couldn't see a Jewish mother leaving their kid in the pub. Neither would an Indian mother - i.e. me. My husband, who is of German / Polish descent - all bets are off. It's not that he would want to - or mean to - but he might. While my focus - perhaps to an unhealthy degree so - is always the kids when they are around, my husband and many "western" friends tend to relax a bit more than I do.
This could very well be the reason why western kids are more likely to think out of the box than eastern kids do, but that is a whole different topic.
Of course, my observations are purely unscientific; even though I am a scientist - so I could "claim" my results as "scientist say" :-) .
Oct '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
Grew up in a family of five kids - times my dad lost us? Too many to count. My standard joke is that at one point the manager of K-Mart was invited to Thanksgiving dinner. My dad would hear the announcement over the PA: we have a little lost girl here, says her name is Theresa. Dad would continue shopping (or looking for the other 4) before claiming the one with the manager. SHE was accounted for, why hurry.
Fast forward 20 years, my dad was at the mall with my oldest, who was not yet 4. They went into a toy store, until the day he died my dad and my son argued over who wandered off. Eventually my son walked up to a store clerk, announced his grand dad was lost and someone had better start looking for him.
My mom was furious with my dad but it's family legend now - as are most stories involving my dad. EVERYTHING was an adventure: cars were old, he'd get lost, you were never quite sure you'd arrive at your intended destination. No matter. You knew you were going to have fun no matter what.
Aug '10
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
James Delingpole:
Whatever. But it does give me a nice excuse to invite you all to come up with your fond personal recollections of the dumbest things your parents ever did.
Of the dumb things my parents did that I feel like talking about in public, this one's probably the winner:
They were not honest with me about the family finances when I was accepting colleges. When I asked them whether accepting an offer from a very prestigious school that had, however, not offered me a great scholarship was financially possible, they said, "Sure, dear. We'll find a way." And like the stupid teenager I was, I believed them.
Maybe I should have gotten a clue when my parents filled out my FAFSA for me instead of having me do it myself (they were hiding financial embarrassment from their own children, it seems). Maybe I was damnably naïve for taking my parents at their word.
Ultimately, the decision was mine, and I chose foolishly -- to my lasting guilt. But at least it's normal for teenagers to be foolish about financial matters. It's not normal for teenagers' middle-aged parents to be.
Jun '12
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
I hail from a largish family (1 of 8) who's sainted mother was genuinely disappointed she couldn't make it an even dozen. What we lacked in financial resources, we more than made up for in resources of the heart: I cannot recall a day in my childhood when I didn't know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was dearly loved.
Due to a premature birth, I had a chronic cough as a child, at times hacking so hard I'd vomit in my sleep. In a desperate attempt to ease the congestion in my tired little lungs, I was sometimes given tablespoons of whisky and sugar. This did help me sleep through the night; but alas, to this day all alcohol tastes like medicine to me. My mother must have run out of whisky at some point, however, for when I was four years old, I remember being asked to swallow a tablespoon full of Vick's Vapo-Rub. It tastes a lot like a combination of petroleum jelly and eucalyptus oil. I don't recommend it be taken internally as a cough suppressant. More than my bronchia were opened that night.
Oct '11
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
And as for me? My third child was lost and we didn't even know it. While camping with the entire family (at that time 10 adults and 7 kids - all of them blonde). Nate was probably 5 or 6, all the kids took off on a bike ride to check out the camp ground. The kids returned but no one counted heads - we didn't realize we were one short until Nate arrived scared to death. He'd been separated from the others. He remembered we were near a bathroom and found out the hard way all the bathrooms in the campground looked the same. He rode his bike round and round until he found us.
I still feel bad about that story but Nate enjoys telling the story - especially when we have company.
The buddy system was then instituted and is followed when we're all together (family is now 10 adults and 15 kids). Every kid has a buddy and has to know where their buddy is at all times.
Aug '10
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
My family was visiting an aquarium, which was dark and designed as a "tour" layout where displays were sequentially visited in separate rooms. My son was around three, and my wife and I, along with our daughter, moved a couple of rooms ahead before we realized we had left our son in front of the glass wall of the shark tank. I ran back through the dark labyrinth to find my son crying, held by a stranger--a woman who looked at me with utter disdain. It must feel good to feel so superior. I think that's not just a Western thing.
When I was a child, my mother used to take me shopping in department stores, where I would almost always become separated from her. In those days, the late 1960s, parents were not concerned that their child might be abducted at any moment. On only one occasion do I remember her being worried enough to have the manager call my name on the PA system. Usually, when we found each other, she would say, "Were you shopping for a better mother?" I couldn't have had a better one, notwithstanding her Western-style nonchalance in this area.
Edited on June 11, 2012 at 7:37pmFeb '12
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
My parents raised me to love G-d, family, and country. On top of that, they taught me about good music, good books, and good food. I am now totally unfit for modern society.
Feb '12
Re: How Your Evil Parents Totally Ruined Your Life
Actually, it's we Grammar Policemen who are judgmental. No one else comes close.