How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
Tonight, as I am sure you're all aware, is Earth Hour. I hope you all intend to take this event as seriously as I shall. First, I shall raid my attic for my last stash of rarer-than-hen's-teeth incandescent light bulbs - you know, the kind without mercury in them; the kind that lights up a room; the kind that doesn't give you headaches - and plug them into every available socket. Then, during Earth Hour, I shall light up my house like a Christmas tree, while turning on every conceivable electrical appliance, perhaps even to the point of opening my freezer door and melting the ice with a blow heater.
Yes, I know - what with the price of electricity these days, due to all those eco tariffs - that this will cost me a great deal of money. But that's the kind of guy I am. I'm doing it not for me but for the Children of Tomorrow. I want them to have a future, a meaningful future with jobs, and a functioning economy and power on demand rather than rationed according to the whim of some Lisa-Jackson-style Eco Commissar.
What worries me at the moment is that though we rationalists and realists are winning every battle we fight against the enviro-loons, we still seem to be losing the war. Note, for example, how they keep changing the terms of the debate. First it was "global warming" we had to worry about. Then, when global warming stopped in 1998, it turned into "climate change". Then, "global climate disruption." Now, apparently, the new buzz phrase is "global weirding."
Yep, that should cover them nicely for a while: whatever strange thing the weather does at any point, anywhere in the world, that's yet more proof that man is harming the planet and that the only solution is more tax, regulation, wind factories, Solyndra-style boondoggles, Chevy Volts, etc.
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Apr '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I intend to throw a bunch of tinfoil in the microwave and set for 60 min.
May '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
Enjoy the counter demonstration! Tonight at 8:30 "The Human Achievement Hour!"
May '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
Bless you. We disagree on American politics but here, you are perfect!
Aug '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I intend to live my life as normal. I'm such a radical extremist.
Dec '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
Maybe everyone should consume copious amounts of cabbage and legumes, thereby adding to the greenhouse gasses?
Jun '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I think I'll just burn a pile of old tires. Unlike electricity, it doesn't cost anything.
Dec '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
Well tonight, I am getting into my corvette and drive unnecessarily fast utilizing 400hp and 6L of awesome to Dulles international airport. At which time I will then board a large aircraft that will inject CO2 directly into the upper atmosphere by passing any chance that it will be consumed by plant life, and sit in a confined space until I land in Glasgow scotland, and proceed to annoy the watermelons by buying things with money I earned by working, especially crueling dismembered and boiled barley. If I can think of any further means of generally pissing off the watermelons as I perform these activities I will be sure to provide an appendix.
Edited on March 31, 2012 at 7:47pmMay '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I will just open and drink some extra seltzer...
Dec '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I have a suggestion for James O'Keefe. How about pointing cameras at the homes of every famous enviro-leftie during Earth Hour, and let's see what they all do. It'd make a great YouTube video.
Extra points if he can determine which ones are actually in the air on their private jets during the hour that the rest are supposed to be huddled in the freezing dark.
May '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
What is Earth Hour? Was Earth Day too long?
May '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I plan on turning on the lights in the swimming pool so that even Guru, if he flies over, will know that I am burning unnecessary lights.
Mar '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I'll go out and let my V8 SUV idle in the driveway for the hour. Maybe I'll try to talk the wife into adding to the earth's population too.
Mar '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
James, if they keep having to change the jargon, then we're winning.
"Global Weirding"? Dude, they've lost.
May '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
Global Weirding? Global MORONING.
Aug '10
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I heard a funny one: Host an appliance fight by pointing a space heater at an open refrigerator.
Feb '12
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
We refer to it as "weather by Sibyll" in our house.
Mar '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
Come on guys, is it really so much to ask to dial down for one hour? Your responses show exactly why we are losing the war. We need to show some sensitivity to the plight of the Earth or we'll never be taken seriously!
For my part, I've asked my cow to hold her flatulence for one hour.
Mar '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
"Global weirding" is a good term for what's going on at the moment, but I think it refers to the Watermelons (if I may use the word).
Sadly, all the signs are that the weirding, unlike the temperature, is gonna continue to increase, though that is totally unrelated to the increase in CO2.
Dec '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
In the spirit of the moment, I'm going to run my HE washer on full cycle with absolutely no laundry...
Nov '11
Re: How I Plan to Celebrate Earth Hour
I'm with you all: "Mehr Licht!"