How Hard Can It Be?
THE SETUP
Last week, R.J. Moeller posted about an interview he did with Rob Long. Good interview, and as always with Rob Long, it was interesting and funny, often at the same time.
At one point in the interview, Rob was telling about the uncertainties of Hollywood. He talked about his show with Bob Newhart and Judd Hirsch, called George & Leo, which just didn’t catch on, even though it was a good show. As Rob suggested, success in Hollywood is a mystery.
What is entertainment? What captures the attention of many people, and amuses them, long enough for them to pay for it? It’s a mystery, so they say …
OBSERVATION
Last night, I attended a baseball game at Camden Yards, after which there was a fireworks display. During the game, in between innings, they played various clips on the JumboTron, or whatever they call the giant TV in center field. The following clip is from 2009, but it’s one of the same videos they played at Camden Yards last night.
Hot Dog Races.
Cartoon hot dog races. With the three racers named Ketchup, Relish, and Mustard.
As the video played, people were cheering. They were rooting. As the cartoon hot dogs rounded third, the crowd was on their feet. Players who make millions of dollars stopped their in-between-inning routine to watch the race onscreen.
I won’t lie. I was cheering. I’m a Ketchup fan myself.
The Orioles went on to lose the game, but most of the crowd stayed for the fireworks. You know what fireworks are, right? Explosions. Colorful, loud explosions. Thousands of people were willing to stay downtown until near midnight to see explosions.
CONCLUSION
Good Lord, if Hollywood can’t entertain people who go crazy over cartoon hot dog races and a few explosions ...
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May '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
I once had a longtime programmer tell me that you couldn't program a television network based on your own personal tastes because you'd go broke. But then technology caught up and nobody watches anyway. The audience is too busy programming it's own viewing schedule with DVDs, Netflix and cat videos from YouTube.
Jul '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Well, I think You got Yer first pilot Here....
I mean, I did read the post.... that should tell You something.
Edited on Jul 16, 2011 at 5:45pmMay '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Actually it's all done with a computer algorithm.
Jun '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
But context matters. If you had been at Lincoln Center, you wouldn't expect, nor would you want to see, cartoon hot dog races. Yet at a ballpark, it's a fun and goofy moment of entertainment. Fireworks only work when you are there in person, experiencing the vibrations and the smell and the brilliant contrast with the night sky. And don't discount tradition. The scene you described is like eating comfort foods --- sure there are higher quality alternatives, but they don't trigger those warm feelings of nostalgia.
Jan '11
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Maybe, but please don't take me too seriously here.
There I was, standing at the stadium, cheering cartoon hot dogs, suddenly realizing that I was thoroughly entertained by this ... meanwhile in Hollywood, perhaps at that very moment, there were executives sitting around a table, trying to figure out what they could possibly produce that would be entertaining.
I thought the contrast was pretty funny.
Jun '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Traditional TV is expensive, so networks have "seasoned" gatekeepers, and just like "seasoned" Army generals, they tend to fight the last war--not the current war. No? The solution is to make the whole thing less expensive, so people can try lots of things, and then failure is just part of your research.
Jun '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
"Maybe, but please don't take me too seriously here."
Oh, I know.....it is funny what catches on with an audience. I think the strangest thing that someone would find entertaining is the videos my son watched when he was tiny --- just construction equipment being operated. He had about a dozen of them. He could watch front loaders and dump trucks and cranes forever. And when we passed a construction crew when I pushed him in the stroller on neighborhood wlaks he insisted on stopping and watching for what seemed like forever from my perspective. Second prize goes to car racing. Watching cars go around in a circle hundreds of times is less than fascinating, but hubby likes it.
Feb '11
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Going off topic - ketchup on a hot dog is just wrong...
Jan '11
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
I rise in defense of ketchup on hot dogs. I mean, it's not like we're talking about bratwurst.
(Who says graduate school in philosophy wasn't worth every penny?)
Edited on Jul 17, 2011 at 12:18pmMay '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
If Obama wanted to do something truly useful, he'd establish an agency to enforce the proper use of condiments:
Any condiment application that deviates from the above specifications is hereby branded an abomination.
Glad that's settled.
Sep '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Great post, KC. I think the hot summer movies bear you out. Though I just read that one of my favorite TV shows, Men of a Certain Age, is not being picked up for another season, and I have to shake my head and say: "I love cartoon hot dogs and explosions, but not all the time!!!!
Sep '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Perfecto! Can I come eat at your House?
Ottoman Umpire If Obama wanted to do something truly useful, he'd establish an agency to enforce the proper use of condiments:
Any condiment application that deviates from the above specifications is hereby branded an abomination.
Glad that's settled. · Jul 17 at 12:51pm
Jan '11
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Maybe we should just keep them in reserve for when things start to deteriorate. Think of how we could have saved Happy Days. Before Fonzie jumped the shark, they could have done a hot dog race.
Three and a Half Men? Charlie Sheen? No problem ... hot dog race.
Star Wars and Jar Jar? No problem ... hot dog races.
As a side note, MSNBC might be replacing Cenk Uygur with Al Sharpton. If ever there were a need for hot dog races, I can't think of a better case ...
May '11
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Oriole fans haven't had anything to cheer about for the last 10 years. Losing lowers your expectations for entertainment. Of course they're going to crazy about a hot dog race. Would a Yankee or Red Sox or even Twins fan cheer on a hot dog race? Phillie fans would boo the losing condiments. San Francisco Giant fans would wonder why sushi, caviar and truffle oil aren't racing each other. All 3 Florida Marlin fans in attendance would be too drunk to notice.
Sep '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
The crowd at the ballpark, much like the drive-in or movie theater crowd, is captive. Hollywood-created TV show audiences are not. Captive audiences will put up with, and even enjoy goofy stuff--it's live and everyone is like-minded.
IM amateur O, I think a big part of a Hollywood TV show's success is casting and the subsequent cast chemistry that emerges. Good writing helps, too. (Nod to Rob)
Dec '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
I hate to say it, but I really suspect that race was fixed.
I blame Big Relish in bed with Republicans. Big Ketchup gives all of its money to Democrats.
And cartoon hot dog races are a conspiracy against the worker. Work is being taken from honest union mascots like this one and being done by non-union cartoon characters.
Clearly these fans were just responding based on Fox News' manipulation of the media telling them they should take interest in a race between processed meats.
Sep '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Circus. As Ricochet's self-appointed expert on venues, allow me to point out you seem to be confusing a live event with a non-live event (TV). The entertainment value lies entirely in the crowd being involved and cheering, in this case for something meaningless as a kind of collective joke. People want/need to laugh, cheer and scream and they like to do it together.
TV will always fall short on that account.
May '11
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Ottoman Umpire
If Obama wanted to do something truly useful, he'd establish an agency to enforce the proper use of condiments:
Any condiment application that deviates from the above specifications is hereby branded an abomination.
Glad that's settled. · Jul 17 at 12:51pm
Charleston SC is known for fine cuisine but Jack's Cosmic Dogs is hugely popular because it features 150 styles of hotdogs.
Dec '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Have you ever read William Goldman’s “Adventures in the Screen Trade” or “Which Lie Did I Tell”? In both he repeats the thought – Nobody knows what works. Nobody knows how he got to the place he is and does not know what he has to do to maintain his spot there. In other words, nobody knows anything.
Dec '10
Re: How Hard Can It Be?
Ottoman Umpire
If Obama wanted to do something truly useful, he'd establish an agency to enforce the proper use of condiments:
Any condiment application that deviates from the above specifications is hereby branded an abomination.
Glad that's settled. · Jul 17 at 12:51pm
God already said that ham and cheese is an abomination. Heck he said that ham is an abomination. At least that is what the Jews say.