House, Repair Thyself!
Murphy’s Law of Mechanics: Interchangeable parts won’t.
Dave’s Law of Applied Mechanics: If at first you don’t succeed, try demolition.
The above represents the sum total of my mechanical experience and expertise. Who hasn’t felt themselves growing old trying to fit Tab “A” into Slot “B” only to find that it simply isn’t working? Have you taken a little gadget apart in an attempt to repair it, and after an eternity spent reassembling the stupid thing, it still doesn’t work? Do you despair? Do you repeat the process again and again, torturing yourself on the project until your fingers bleed, your tools break, and your spirit withers? Not me. I destroy the little menace, getting my money’s worth of enjoyment by taking a much larger and heavier object and applying it with great force, producing a satisfying explosion of little airborne parts soaring every which way across the room.
Across the ocean, the Mail Online discusses a study which finds that people who are similarly inept are in good, albeit younger, company. The study found that over half of young people are unable to maintain their homes. A full 50 percent do not know how to rewire an electrical plug, while over half will not attempt to put up wallpaper, never mind try something like “bleeding a radiator” (didn’t they use to do that to people?). And when they do attempt repairs, it gets worse:
The study also found that when the under-35s do attempt to do a job themselves and it goes wrong, it costs nearly three times as much to fix as problems caused by other age groups. The average cost of putting right a botched DIY job carried out by someone under 35 is £2,498, compared with around £838 for those aged over 45.
So domestic and mechanical ineptitude is partly an age issue, but there must be more to it than that, yes? My brother in law literally built my Mother’s house after a drunk driver plowed into the living room of the previous house, and he did an unbelievable job. It would have been just a big smoking crater if I had tried that.
I’m not completely useless, however. Thanks to the military, I’ll do just fine in the field thank you very much. Survival and combat skills in the desert or jungle? No problem. I can field strip an M-60 like nobody’s business and deal with just about any situation that arises on the road in or around the 18 wheeler. But ask me to wire something in the house, install flooring, or do anything with plumbing and I’ll be as out of place as Tim Geithner at a tax audit or Bill Clinton under oath. Maybe it’s because I don’t wear my pants low enough.
Or maybe it stems in part from an acute lack of curiosity about these things during my formative years, and a distinct lack of patience with all things mechanical that persists to this day. On the negative side, this admittedly puts people like me at the mercy of experts and professionals when something goes wrong. On the other hand, I never fail to get my money’s worth of satisfaction out of any object I purchase.
Does this seemingly creeping ineptitude on the part of young people signal a bigger problem, or is it an assist to the professional fix-it people? Is there a need for more formal courses in this kind of thing, or should we just hide the large hammers?
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May '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
If it's broke, get a hammer. If that doesn't work, get a bigger hammer.
Actually, that study surprises me a bit, because my sense has been we're in a learn-online, do-it-yourself era: Home Depot and all that. Maybe not. (And maybe I will still be in business ten years from now. Phew.)
May '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Dishonesty among auto mechanics is so common because keen familiarity with, um, auto mechanics is so uncommon. A Vehicle Maintenance & Repair course in high school would have been more useful than, say, Chemistry. Basic courses on plumbing and carpentry would also not be amiss.
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Aaron, the basic courses would have been very helpful. Not long ago, I had trouble starting my truck. Because it started the next morning when it was cool, I theorized that it was a starter issue (the same thing having happened to my car recently). But my company's protocols would not let them replace the starter unless it had "strike marks" on it, indicating someone had hit the thing (which actually works sometimes) in an effort to start the truck. So the next time it died, right at the entrance to a warehouse, I got the hammer but couldn't locate the starter. Suffice to say that almost anything under the hood can now be replaced because everything has the requisite number of strike marks. It was theraputic.
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Scott, do you think that the do it yourself temperment still resides in younger generations, but expresses itself in the high-tech area? Whereas our parents and grandparents could fix just about anything in the house, our children can program a computer, repair a smart phone, tether a gadget to a widget and fix the gamebox or whatever it's called all before breakfast, and THEN get down to some serious high tech wizardry?
Jun '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Any fool can do it with money! It's when you don't have money that you get a house built entirely of pop cans and whisky bottles, which is a clue as to why the builder doesn't have any money. A while back, I went to my doctor's to get some stitches removed. I'd ripped my thumb shucking an oyster, which I eventually ate raw--love them suckers--the blood added a unique flavour. My Doctor had to take an important call and left me sitting on the exam table with all the equipment in a tray. I get bored really quickly and my doc took a while, so I pulled my own stitches, which got her chuckling because she got paid for the visit. Still, I'd draw the line at do it yourself brain surgery. Anaesthesia, depending on how the patient feels about scotch, is probably OK as a do-it-yourself gig.
Jun '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
A guy pulls into a service station because his car engine is rattling in a most disconserting way. He's all in a lather thinking his engine is about to blow. A phlegmatic mechanic walks out pops the hood and looks down at the engine with a grim expression on his oil-stained face after which he turns on his heel and goes back into the garage. Not two minutes later he's back with a ballpeen hammer with which he gives the engine a mighty whack. To the motorist's surprise the engine begins to purr like a kitten. The mechanic turns to the motorist and says that'll be a hundred bucks. The motorist spitting mad turns on the mechanic and shouts, "A hundred bucks! All you did was hit the engine with a hammer." The mechanic retorts, "that's ten bucks for gettin' the hammer and ninety bucks for knowin' where to hit."
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Cas, we may be left with do it yourself brain surgery if this healthcare monstrosity isn't dispatched pretty soon. Will we have to go on our own waiting list?
May '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Dave: You might be right on how the do-it-yourself impulse manifests in the young: my kids are tech-support around here. I will never, ever master what they already have mastered, and I suppose in the long run their skills will be of more value (monetarily, anyway). So maybe "the kids are all right" afterall.
And Cas, nicely done on the stitches. A few years back, I cut off my own cast with tin snips to save a little money. No regrets.
May '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. The wisdom of my father. We are huge fans of "percussive maintenance" at our house. Often a malfunctioning gadget just needs a good smack.
May '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
As someone who is totally hopeless with anything mechanical or DIY, I have found the best solution is to live in developing countries where you can hire someone to do the work for not very much. This works out well for the hireree, hirerer and the overall economy.
For those not in a position to do this, I suggest that earning big bucks would create the same relative effect.
Aug '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Years ago, while living in Israel, I learned to rapidly disassemble and reassemble an Uzi and an M16 in the dark-- but rewire an electrical plug? Give me a hammer or a screwdriver and I become, by definition, a danger to myself and others.
I casually mentioned to a Catholic friend that I was considering the purchase of a power saw, and she immediately went to church to light a candle. Today I told my fiancé, a physicist who resides in Connecticut, that my contractor had failed to sand down the railing on the new south deck, and it might be necessary to buy a power sander and do it myself-- he offered to book the next flight to Oregon and personally take charge, lest tragedy ensue.
While HGTV makes home tasks appear seductively simple, buying into that charming fiction resulted in my misguided attempt at repainting the guest room: a horrifying week-long experience that bore similarities to "The Blair Witch Project" and required seven gallons of paint-- much of which spilled on the carpet. In the end, I paid professionals to repair the disaster.
I was not born to handle tools. I was born to stimulate the economy.
Edited on August 27, 2010 at 9:37amJul '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
I don't care what anyone says, a large-caliber handgun is an appropriate home maintenance implement.
Jun '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Lately, I try to set aside anything cheap and expendable so I can tinker with it later - - when I've quelled the urge to kill it with a hammer. The autopsy's usually educational and I've even made one repair (which still mystifies me, since I had 2 leftover parts).
It helps that I had a great drama teacher who taught us all construction/painting/wiring basics. MY "DIY" peeve is that I still can't cook or sew on a button, thanks in part to those who sought to empower me by driving the "sexist" Home Ec. classes out of my schools. Thanks, ladies. Now the kitchen's the only room in my house where I feel powerless and frustrated.
Jun '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
"Does this seemingly creeping ineptitude on the part of young people signal a bigger problem, or is it an assist to the professional fix-it people?"
It's a generational thing. Take any dozen men over 50 and you will find that within the group there will be at least a working knowledge of all the trades. I personally haven't hired a tradesman but once or twice in my lifetime.
I've noticed at school that boys these days are particularly inept at anything requiring manual dexterity except manipulating a keyboard. Seriously, I wouldn't hire most of them to paint a fence. I meet their parents and find the same thing goes for dads these days. We live today in an age of specialization. Which is fine if you get well paid for your specialty because you're going to need that cash to hire other specialists when the time comes.
As for large hammers, I reserve them for items made in China. There is nothing I hate more than appliances that are not meant to be taken apart and fixed.
Aug '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
A few years ago, a buddy of mine, who is a recording engineer here in the Nashville area, was having work done on his roof. I commented that the work seemed simple enough that my friend could have possibly done the repairs himself, to which he responded: "Me and the roofer, we made a deal. I won't fix roofs, and he won't cut records." With the music business in the shape it's in now, perhaps we music professionals should all take a course in roof repair.
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
Shoshanna, that has my vote for Ricochet Line of the Week. I relate on multiple levels with that sentiment. My great grandmother used to tell my grandmother that she was, "...a accident looking for a kitchen to happen." Apparently, it might be genetic.
May '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
This past month is a prime example of this for me. Last week my Xbox died. I went online and did some research, got some parts from Lowe's, and within a few days it was up and running again. I have no hesitations to take apart an electronic device and try to fix it. However, two weeks prior my ceiling fan started squeaking loudly and my only instinct was to rip it down and destroy it. (I didn't destroy it. I actually dealt with it for 3 days before someone came to fix it.)
Got a small electronic device will millions of parts that needs repairing? I can do that! Got a common household appliance not working correctly? I've got a baseball bat for that!
Jul '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
All the time. I do it for a living. Sometimes unrelated problems crop up during a repair and those problems have to be repaired just to get back to the original one. The cost for that sort of fiasco has to ameliorated by other repairs that go well and quickly. That's why repair people often have a minimum fee that has to be paid even when the problem turns out to be "pilot error."
Edited on August 27, 2010 at 5:03pmJul '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
This is a bit of repair lore that I once built an essay around for English composition:
Read the rest
May '10
Re: House, Repair Thyself!
New automobiles contain upwards of 30 computer chips which defy tinkering. Ovens and washer machines also rely on computers these days. Enjoy the do-it-yourself repairs while they last.