Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
An ailing Christopher Hitchens entertained Charlie Rose on Friday with one of the things he does best: conversation. Speaking at great length—and often elegiacally—Hitchens reminisced over the thrill of his life and, now, his fear of impending death. A clip of the video is embedded below. The naked conversation between Hitchens and Rose is a deeply moving 53 minutes of sincere reflection (watch the full thing here).
Though Hitchens, in his cancerous and chemo-therapeutic position, plowed mercilessly into his own condition with unattractive words like “impotent,” “boring,” and “passive,” the great wit did not come across as pathetic as his self-deprecating charm would have you believe. Rather, he was reflective, modest, and—above all—humbled by life, the great party. He said, “I’m leaving the party a bit earlier than I’d like. Much earlier than I’d like…And not only that, but the party will go on without me, a more horrible thought.”
He also spoke of his boyhood at boarding school, where he experienced the love that dare not speak its name, to quote one writer he admires, Oscar Wilde. He spoke about his mother’s suicide and the ominous feeling, which has not left him, that if he had received her call that day, and he had spoken to her, that “she might have had a second thought or two."
He spoke about the politicians he admires—Tony Blair is a “man prepared to take risks on points of principle”—and politicians he admires not so much. Bill Clinton is “reptilian,” a “sociopath.” Obama is a “weak guy, indeed.”
He spoke about his dear friends, Ian McEwan and Martin Amis, who “taught me how to write.” And he spoke about other writers, like Hemingway, who “never got over the fact that he could never be as butch as Gertrude Stein…you get the impression with Hemingway that he’s trying just very slightly too hard…both in the fiction and the non-fiction.”
And he spoke, of course, about death.
Once, as he writes in his new memoir Hitch-22, he had hoped to be conscious when death arrived. Ever the writer, Hitchens sees death as another “experience” that he wants to take in, to reflect upon, to comment upon. But now, “that’s very qualified when you think of how painful a cancer death can be.” Part of that pain: “there are days when I’m afraid it [cancer] will stop me from writing…I am terrified it will kill my ability to do that, because that would sap my will to live.”
Another fear—and I thought that this was the most visceral part of the conversation—is not living to see his children grow up. That, he said, is “the only reflection that makes me not bitter but wretched.”
I can take it for myself. I don’t find myself breaking down. But I sometimes become a bit lachrymose when I think about not seeing them grow up, or fear that I would -- I mean I’m not -- look, I’m not resigned to going yet. I haven’t checked out yet, either…. I’m in the middle of the argument about that… I don’t have a very long life to live, I can be fairly surely of that. I’d be very lucky if I’ve got five to ten years. I could see a lot happen to my children in that time.
If he could do it all again, would he lead a healthier lifestyle—give up the drinking and the smoking to live a longer life? “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken much better care of myself.”
But he has no regrets. “Life is a wager.”
I probably was getting more out of leading a bohemian existence as a writer than I would have if I didn’t. So and -- writing is what’s important to me. And anything that helps me do that, or enhances and prolongs and deepens and sometimes intensifies arguments and conversations is worth it to me, sure. So I was knowingly taking a risk. I wouldn’t recommend it to others.
If he’s one of the lucky ones, Hitchens will have another five to ten years to live. The reader and the writer in me certainly hopes for another decade of Hitch-22.
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Jul '10
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
Sad. Hitchens is a brilliant controversialist and I admire how he broke with his Trotskyist pals after 9/11. He will be missed.
Jun '10
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
Hitchens is almost certainly the most interesting and complicated personality in his field, even if the occupation requires little more than being a professional intellectual and political SOB.
Perhaps Hitchens’ greatest legacy will be to have shown other writers and ideologues how to grow beyond their own political crew-- how to have a vibrant personality and to let that personal quirk, that individuality, be your lodestone.
May '10
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
Christopher Hitchens is probably a great man. However, there are still many questions that he has yet to answer. David Horowitz wrote a brilliant polemic on Christopher in National review a few weeks back. Also, his writing is still among the best in the field. His most recent article for Slate was so persuasive.
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
I'm curious, Robert -- which questions? I can certainly make a guess or two, but I'd love to know what you mean exactly!
May '10
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
I like to think that Horowitz's vile, personal attack would not have been seen in NR if Wm. F. Buckley Jr. were still with us.
I absolutely love Hitchens, especially his forthrightness and honesty. I've heard him in many debates, and never heard him beaten. I hope he will come to see how bad the current administration's domestic policies are, and I wish he would consider movies and television as seriously as he does the printed word.
May '10
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
I didn't find it Vile, personal certainly. I thought Horowitz was sad and wrote as an endearing friend who knew that Hitchens would like the challenge. With all the praise that Hitchens is always showered with, I think he appreciates a good challenge now and then and Horowitz gave it his best.
When somebody has a complex philosophical worldview as Hitchens does there are holes. He would admit to being a terrifically ignorant human being. The main question I guess is why he still clings to Marxism when so many former trotskyists leftist radicals of the 60's made turns to become conservatives. I find so many people on the right who were radical leftists in the 60s. Some extention upon this idea is what I would ask him.
Also CH has been one of the most frequent guests on UK. His one episode with VDH on WWII is my favorite episode. It should have been pointed out how similar CH and Pat Buchanan's views are of Churchill. In his episode on Trotsky he gave some beautiful answers but no real conclusions. He couldn't really answer Peter's final question to sum up Trotsky in one sentence.
May '10
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
I second Ms. Smith's query.
Emily Esfahani Smith
I'm curious, Robert -- which questions? I can certainly make a guess or two, but I'd love to know what you mean exactly! · Aug 17 at 7:28pm
May '10
Re: Hitchens: Life is a party and I'm leaving this party much earlier than I'd like
Hitchens is ebullient. I spoke with him briefly in Manhattan several months ago and was awe-inspired.